I really need to know what I should do with my life. I am a 24

>>18585868
cont

I'll try to spew this out as quickly as possible and keep things not essential out. I'm a 24yr old neet but I've had some half decent jobs just never been good at saving or really earned enough other than when I was in this factory. A year ago I was basically forced to live with my father on a remote island because I had fucked up living with my mother so much, quit the factory because my weed smoking fool of a father claimed he was onto some rare shit, turns out he allegedly has bipolar and is just a nutty retard with pie in the sky ideas (fyi you can't be diagnosed with bipolar if you smoke weed). The guy hasn't always been a lazy reject who sits there and watches day time TV he's actually build several homes and has always turned his hand to something and made money from it. But pretty much since this whole episode he does such childish shit and doesn't care about life, won't even strim weeds down you know( sits there and sprays shit out when he sneezes or fucking sits there rifling through his nostrils for boogers[seriously]). I quit my job as a truck driver for the shop on the island because it paid fuck all and my manager was a proper try hard egoist on a serious power trip(when they fucking live in caravans on our land or did before I told them to get to fuck). I had been speaking to this girl in America for about 3 years but she's always been disingenuous and cagey, lying about such insignificant things like a child who doesn't want to get in trouble, also recently admitted to doing things behind my back but claims we weren't together while also simultaneously claiming that she would die for me all this shit(Always been suspicious because she says she doesn't want friends and then when she finally moves into a decent town she fucks off for a night with a guy on his birthday without any method of contacting me).

>>18585870
cont Like I am no angel either because this girl who lives here had done the same thing to her bf by coming to mine for a whole night without contacting him and it got a bit and it got really suspicious.. We had hung out before and she basically admitted to having a foot fetish when I was drunk so I like massaged her feet and after some nights we were fucking most times we hung out. Pretty much I'm admitting that either my own fuckery is being projected on her and I'm suspicious that she would do the same or I deserve to her cheat on me(In my defence she had allegedly let some guy finger her at her cousins merely weeks into us speaking). So anyway that was my only reason to live because I would plan to meet her you know but that's kind of fucked and as I said I have this issue with the way we communicate. It seems like people also say shit to have it mean something else y'kno what I mean? Well anyway she is a fucking game player and I can barely tolerate her as it is so I may aswell just drop this shit. I just need to go out but in my next post I will outline my current plans. I am looking for people to just comment on my situation and recommend anything they can. Like do you think I should forget the American or try because atleast it is something to work/live for?