I'm going to preface this post by saying: Yes, I know this

>>18582767
>She lit a fucking candle, man

People from the US are weird...

>Should I continue to be cucked and be her best gay friend, or should I burn my relationship with my douchebag roommate to the fucking ground and steal his girlfriend?

Ask yourself this: Is she worth it? Is a girl that's willing to cheat with her bf's roommate a good catch? Is losing your current living situation for her worth it? Are you 100% that she is down to fuck?

If you decide that nothing above or your own moral compass is enough to stop this, then go ahead. Just don't get mad when things go to shit (because even is she is into you things will go to shit with your roommate and your place)

Don't be a scumbag. Your friend for some odd reason trusts you and her enough to not be bothered by all this. Why would you even want someone who is going to cheat like that? How do you know you won't be next? Also if she explicitly makes a move on you, you need to tell your friend that she's a hoebag. Fucking grow some moral balls. Is that the guy you want to be? The guy that throws away a friendship and fucks someone else's girl?

>>18582797
Also she probably is just trying to perform a power play to see if she can get you to make the move so she can look innocent later. Don't let her influence you like that. She won't respect you afterwards. This whole situation is such a risky loss for such a small gain.

>>18582781
As far as the candle goes, it's not exclusively the candle that made the situation weird, but a totality of the circumstances. The candle was almost like, an affirmation at that point.

As far as the rest of your response, those are all totally valid points. She's someone I actually like to spend time with, have a lot in common with, and I am attracted to. I suppose that's the line that I'm riding right now.

Honestly, I think it might be somewhat an inevitability at this point, that something SOMETHING will happen that crosses some line.

I don't even know how we became such close friends in the first place - it's not like I tried to get to this point or anything.

I'm mostly concerned that if I sit idly by, I'll just watch as they get engaged, and I'm forced to get my own place anyway.

Meanwhile, roommate doesn't really seem to be all that concerned about the amount of time she and I spend together, although frankly I doubt he knows the full scope of the situation, and I think even though he likely does question whether or not something has happened between us, he either takes her too much for granted, or is empowered by the notion that he's cucking me or some weird narcissistic power-play shit.

>>18582767
Yah I light candles just because they smell nice all the time. All the other stuff tho is a pretty good indicator she likes you. If your spending that much time together she is probably hoping you'll do something. Don't tho, just talk to her, tell her your getting feelings for her and would want to be more then friends. Her bf sounds like a lazy losser like the one I'm married to. He sits on his computer 24/7 and won't do anything with me. Save this girl from being like me lol. I'm raising 3 kids with a man child who won't get off wow long enough to even now the grass or go grocery shopping with me. It sucks, and his lack of effort to do anything with her is probably why they arnt having sex and why she is looking to spend so much time with you.

>>18582797
>>18582804
Hmm, very solid points.

I didn't consider the innocence angle on her part - I'm sure she's more cued in to the situation than she's letting on.

>Is that the guy you want to be?
That's part of the problem. I'm not really actively trying to sway her towards me, it's kind of just naturally happened.

My concern is whether or not I should take the next step, or wait till 1.) their relationship implodes or 2.) They get married and move in together and I'm not even on the table (which would actually be a pretty suitable solution to a complex issue).

>>18582826
Is he your roommate or your friend? If he is your roommate, I say go for it. Either way, you should definitely sit with him and ask him how he and his girlfriend are. Maybe he's going through a rough time and doesn't feel confident enough to spend time with his girl. Give his side a chance, you know?

>>18582826
>I'm mostly concerned that if I sit idly by, I'll just watch as they get engaged, and I'm forced to get my own place anyway.

That's your MAIN concern? Really?

Let me tell you something: Having to move when you have time to prepare and part in good terms in not the same as having your stuff thrown out the window and fist-fighting your ex-roommate on the street.

>>18582767
OP I am turning 30 years old in 6 months and 1 of the most valuable life lessons I can share with you is do not burn bridges. there are literally so many women in the world. part of me wants to say go for it cause it sounds like you 2 click i mean obvi right she lit a candle but theres a 50 50 chance youll only last a couple months as a actual couple and then you lost a friend your best freind ( the girl ) and youll be alone in a 1 bedroom apt. unless this guy is not someone you want to associate with ever again then I would suggest finding your own fitspo babe

>>18582832
Thanks for this perspective as well.

The egotistical part of my brain WANTS this to be true - that I can "save" her from this loser. It's empowering and really caters to the narcissistic part of my brain.

But my more empathetic side is telling me to just let it go and move on.

I don't think that verbalizing the issue to her will net any positive results. I'm fairly certain that she would either tell him what I said out of fear it would endanger her relationship, or she would flat out deny it.

I don't think that she has any desire for conflict in this situation, but I do also think that she wants something to happen. It's frankly like she's daring me to do it.

She's very clearly expressed his frustration in his close-mindedness to me, and his general unwillingness to really try anything new or go on any adventures with her.

We often talk about the ideas of road trips and doing adventurous, exploration based activities (stuff that really, REALLY excites me), but then the tone of the conversation tends to go sour when she brings him up in a negative light.

THIS DUDE MUST BE PACKING A HORN TO KEEP THIS FIT BADDIE AROUND FOR AS LONG AS HE HAS

>>18582844
Maybe calling it my main concern was a little bit of an exaggeration. I should have said that I'm partially concerned with that possibility. Again, that really would be a solution to this problem.

>>18582839
He and I used to be friends, but ever since I've lived with him things have gotten steadily more and more strained between us.

He's publicly said in front of our mutual friends that we are in fact, not friends - probably out of some need to feel big or something.

>>18582848
A very good point. Perhaps I'm thinking too "do-or-die" about the whole situation.

As far as the roommate goes, I'm beginning to believe that I might need to get away from him myself anyway. It's a fairly toxic situation.

>>18582865
hahaha I suppose it's possible.

Frankly I think it's more that he's a narcissist and she has low self-esteem. It's why I became friends with the guy in the first place.

>>18582767
I would say to fuck her *if she wasn't dating your housemate.* I wouldn't say to date her seriously. here are some things to consider:

a. why can't she just leave her boyfriend if she isn't satisfied by him?

b. why can't you just fuck another girl who isn't dating your roommate?

c. have you considered that (whether she's attracted to you or not) her main reason for doing this might be loneliness?

d. have you ever had a serious conflict with a housemate before?

I honestly think those things would be helpful for you to consider. Also, you all sound a little bit morally/intellectually lazy and fucked up.

>>18582767
It's easy enough for her to leave her relationship and give it a little while then start seeing you, or whatever you two decide to do. Far preferable than her cheating on her man, and you being the impetus to do so

>>18582882
Thanks for these points.

>a. why can't she just leave her boyfriend if she isn't satisfied by him?

Good question. I'm not sure. Something in her head, perhaps. I don't really have the insight on her mind to make an educated answer.

>b. why can't you just fuck another girl who isn't dating your roommate?

I can, and I have. I just like this girl more than the girls I fuck

>c. have you considered that (whether she's attracted to you or not) her main reason for doing this might be loneliness?

I have not. It's worth considering. Frankly if that's the case, it would probably be pretty nefarious of me to take advantage of her personal insecurities.

>d. have you ever had a serious conflict with a housemate before?

Nothing that comes close to the scale of this potential conflict.

Thanks for the perspective man, it really helps.

>>18582886
I see this as a possible outcome, frankly. I don't really want her to cheat, I just wish the roommate wasn't a problem to begin with, I guess.

But clearly that isn't the case.

>>18582909
yeah man. sorry for calling you fucked up. I guess I'm just hostile towards 4channers. you might be a cool guy. you two are probably just lonely or something, which is understandable in this society.

>good question: [why can't she just leave him if she isn't satisfied]
>I like this girl more than most girls
maybe have a conversation with her? I don't know how that will turn out, but it seems like the 'right' thing to do, and you might get some perspective on whether or not she's someone you ought to date or not.

>it would be nefarious to fuck her just because she's lonely
I don't think so. Being lonely is not like a mental disorder or something.

>nothing that comes close to this potential scale of conflict
hmm tread lightly then

>>18582909
>>18582924
I'm just imagining you and your roommate either being locked in a lease or something like that while he's hostile towards you for fucking 'his' girl

I don't know. Just plan what you do and be careful what you do. Maybe they really like each other too, in a stable, committed sort of way? You can probably figure that out by talking to the girl.

My assumption is that she should dump him before she should cheat, you would have to date the girl kind of secretly, and then you would eventually move out so you are not "banging your roommate's ex." it sounds like a big production.

>>18582924
All good man, you could be right. It's a pretty fucked up thing to really even consider in the first place - I understood that going into it.

>maybe have a conversation with her?
I suppose that this is the point that I need to reach. I think having that conversation at this point would be fairly tactless - I would most likely blunder through it and end up looking like a fool.

Frankly yes, I am pretty lonely. I'm disappointed that someone that I actually connect with on a level other than sexually is with a guy who, in my eyes, doesn't deserve her.

But maybe I am the fucked up one here, and he's just a normal guy who treats her right. It's hard to tell, I'm biased in my favor, obviously.

>>18582859
If she's talking crap in him to you that is practically her saying she wants to dump humans be with you. I don't understand why you wouldn't just talk to her then talk to him. Cheating and just screwing around with her will only make him madder when they do break up and make y'all fee scumy. If you talk to her she will probably be like ooooo I like you to! I'm going to dump him, I was hoping you felt the same way I've been feeling. And if not if she's not into it and tells her bf, well that sucks but isn't it kind of inevitable like this situation of you hanging out with his girl can't go in forever and at least this way you can be like, sorry bro at least I didn't try anything with her, if you don't want guys being into your girl you should be spending time with her not another guy

>>18582929
It would be a big deal to pull off. I would be willing to put in the work, and frankly, I don't think too much would change overall when it came to her and I. that's the thing, we're already friends, regardless of boyfriend's involvement in the situation.

>>18582956
things are probably average. you're probably an average person morally and he probably treats his girlfriend okay, not exceptionally good or bad. I see nothing extreme about this situation, although yeah it is a little unfortunate that you're falling for your roommate's gf.

>having a conversation about it would be pretty tactless.
having a blunt conversation about it would be tactless. I don't know how good you are at social maneuvering. I knew a genius once and she could basically talk about anything because of how she phrased what she was trying to say. she also positioned herself to always look right (which she backed up by never doing anything people would consider heinous, even down to not eating the last slice of pizza.) Sorry if that's ranting. I'm just trying to paint a picture here.

>>18582959
I follow you. It would be scummy, and frankly it already feels scummy.

I still don't think, upon conversing about the issue, that she would admit anything that would change our current status. Things would need to progress even further for that to happen.

>>18582767
just tell her to end things with him first, then go to town. it sounds like shes looking for a reason anyway

>>18582974
You're not ranting, I follow you completely. I don't believe that I have the interpersonal conversational skills to frame it in a way other than by being completely blunt.

Any suggestions would be more than welcome

>>18583000
you can probably answer a lot of your questions about their relationship by just getting to know each of them better.

I guess I would say something like "is Anon upset that we are spending time together?" which is a pretty innocent question. Don't take direct advice over 4chan though, especially not with what to say in conversations that aren't even happening yet. This is just an example.

>>18583009
Okay, that makes much more sense to me now. I like that a lot.

Well thanks a lot man, you've been a great help.

Actually, my thanks goes out to this whole thread. A lot of really helpful information.

Frankly typing out the situation helps me answer some of these questions as well, it's been very helpful to be able to bounce concepts off of other people.

>>18583040
np. feels good being allowed to do something productive.

>>18582980
That's shity tho, like your saying that's the kind of people you both are. That she would need to cheat first rather then just be upfront that things with her bf arnt working out and that she has a connection with you. That would be the right thing to do here, her bf will still be upset but at least no one cheated. If she is the kind of girl who would screw around with you before ending her relationship do you really think you can trust her?

>>18582767
You want us to tell you yes, it's very clearly what you want. But the truth is, your roommate is probably the relationship more likely to last.

But if you just want to get some free puss, yeah. Just understand their are consequences to your actions.