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Just got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship with someone I loved incredibly. I was completely blindsighted by the ending of it, and was required to end it due to some blazing red flags - Not wanting anything to do with my family, or suddenly not seeing a future. Her response to any questions i had were beyond vague or a simple "I don't know". I never really got any closure from this, and it's fucked me up pretty badly. I thought everything was okay, everything was going good for the most part, and progress was consistently made, even planned to propose soon. I feel like I essentially got ghosted, she wouldn't even meet to exchange stuff. Needed to be done through a friend and her family. I think the worst part is, it's been 2 weeks and I just found out she's basically seeing someone else, or at least sleeping with someone. I'm absolutely torn up. I can hardly hold my life together, and shes off starting a new one. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at a loss.
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>>18576824
She was probably seeing him / talking to him (fucking with him..) months before the breakup happened.
It's hard, but don't grieve. Remember the red flags, the bad moments when you felt sad, alone, disrespected, ignored, lied to. That helps to get better. Give yourself time. Perhaps a year to completely get over that. Let your brain cleanse from all that mess.
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>>18576824
Understand she's weak and incapable of being independent, she can't function without clinging to a boy to take care of her and you've set yourself free from that trap.
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>>18576824
Its not a competition. She can lead whatever fucked up, dysfunctional life she wants. That's kinda the reason you broke up with her, right? Focus on you and forget about her. Quit seeking out info on her. You can't change the past, but you can control the present to an extent and plan for a better future.
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>>18577062
I'm trying my best. It's honestly like a rollercoaster of emotions, at times I fucking hate her guts, and others wondering where everything went wrong. I'm leaving to travel to SE Asia soon for 3 months, this I believe will absolutely help in the cleansing process. Thanks anon.
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>>18577070
It's something I've definitely realized. I've always been a firm believer that if you can't be alone, you're not in the position to be with someone else. Since the breakup, I haven't once caught myself thinking that I want to be with her again though. I think that in itself is a good sign.
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>>18577077
This so much
It is not a competition.
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>>18577135
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>>18577154
I don't know. Its just tough to handle, she can walk away as everything is fine. I'm left in ruins. it may not be a competition, but what gives man
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