So what do people mean when they say "accept who you are"?

>>18574768
So long as you are striving to improve yourself and/or the world around you, that is a part of your identity. It falls under "who you are."

You are you, anon. If there's things you need to address, then address them. But you do need to accept that you are you, with all the promise and potential that you have. Do your best, and you won't feel shame. Try your hardest, and you won't regret failure. You are you. Nobody else is you, and nobody else will ever be you. Own that.

>>18574768
>Do they mean flaws and all
yes

>>18574768

ehhh. its more of a bigger picture idea. a lot of people get fixated on the idea that their flaws make them unloveable and arent working to fix them.

i have a friend who does some programming, and he loves MLP, and hes a total cringe lord. he has the life he particularly wnats, but becasue he sees these as flaws he hates him self. he doesn't want to change though cuz he likes those.

so for him accepting him self would just lead to him enjoying what he has.

>>18574801
He shouldn't accept himself to "just lead to him enjoying what he has". He should accept that he is flawed and fix the things that he hates about himself.

Some things can't be fixed or are hard to fix, but saying "accept who you are" won't solve the problem.

>>18574814

>should fixs the things that he hates about himself

many times the things we hate about our selves we wouldn't hate at all if other people didn't pay mind to them. hes an autistic cringe lord, pretending to be / trying to be a normie isn't goign to make him happy.

he already enjoys just being obsessed with ponies, so why not encourage him to just enjoy it and brush off the anxiety of how others perceive him.

>>18574818
>pretending to be / trying to be a normie isn't goign to make him happy

You are right.

I wanted to say that "accept who you are" feels like "I don't have to/I can't do anything about myself". You can still strive to be a better man. He can watch MLP and be happy, by improving other areas of his life, by not settling for what he is. And I'm not saying to dramatically change his life and do things he does not enjoy.

This is something to think about.

I don't know if I'm conveying my thoughts clearly enough because my english is bad.

>>18574849

understandable. I'm not saying he shoudl never strive to improve, theres a few things i push him towards. but until you accept certain parts that are intrinsic to you, you can't really fix the flaws. they all juts kinda blend together until you separate them.

keep in mind that no one ever really means something to a 100% literal degree. 'you should always be improving' is just as silly as 'accept yourself exactly as you are'.

in reality we want both, part of improving is learning what to accept. but accepting who you are as a person doesn't mean accepting your flaws.

but you can't try and fix your alcoholism if you don't accept that you're an alcoholic for instance. acceptance does not mean leaving it as it is necessarilly, but rather admitting whats what and being okay with it in this moment, the fact that it exists, before you can move on.

ask them to explain it to you
if they can't they're retarded

You're overthinking it. It's just for fake ass niggas who live a lie.

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>>18574768
The two concepts, unconditional acceptance and drive to improve are of course opposites, because they represent female and male energies. The mother is (in general) responsible for loving her children no matter what, the father (again, in general, the role can be played by either parent) is responsible for teaching his children how to be all they can.

As with relationships between opposites, it's the tension that makes them difficult, but it's that they're opposites that defines an entire range of choices to exist, rather than simply one polarity or the other.

The key is to always be able to take both points of view into account. Do the very best you can, then also accept yourself for being the finite, flawed human being you are even if the result wasn't perfect. Not one or the other, both. Union of opposites.

The hard part is knowing when you're either whipping yourself too hard to improve (because you can't love yourself) or accepting your failures and loving yourself too much (because you're unwilling to push yourself).