>bf and I met online >had long distance relationship for

>>18572777

Try sitting down with him and asking if there's anything you can do to make the move easier. Moving house is stressful anyway, and moving to a new city is even more difficult.

You messed up slightly by letting him move over without setting up a job first. I went through a similar thing last year when I moved cities to be with my partner (only the next one over) and I made sure I had secured a job before doing it.

Think about it, he has moved over to a new city, he has no money, no independence and he now has to live with somebody who has all of these things and complete control over the situation. He might be missing his family, his friends, his old life, and he is taking it out on you.

I have to admit, it's extremely worrying that he's this unhappy already. The first six months of living with somebody should be a wonderful experience where you barely notice their enormous flaws - he seems like he's baring all immediately.

Ask him where he wants to take his life and then encourage him to start doing it.

I was like that shit too till I realized I wasnt enjoying my life. Then I had some introspection and started working for what I wanted

>>18572785
I'll try that...

The thing with his job is that I tried to get him to find a job here first but he insisted it was already stressful packing and dealing with his other bills and job and he figured it would be better to find his new job once he moved in....

>>18572777
You made the mistake of moving in with someone you didnt truly know.

It's easy to hide flaws when you only see each other once a week.

but just because he's not who you thought he was doesn't mean he should be thrown out. Give him an ultimatum and time to save up

>>18572795
I really have.... which was also why I was ok with him taking his time to find a job that lead to a direction he wanted to take his life in....

He's got some bites at some offers and interviews but he's still getting angry at the littlest things I say and do....

For example, he kept talking about needing money and how he couldn't sell his old set of dvd's.... I suggested a few ways to sell them off and instead he kept shooting down my suggestions and mentioned how the less popular movies are harder to sell... so when I suggested "why not sell the less popular ones at a lower price or give them away for free with their purchase" he snapped and said it was too much work and accused me of just wanting to get rid of his stuff

>>18572809
That's what I was afraid of...

I wouldn't just throw him out like that... which is why I feel so stuck....

But I guess I don't have much of a choice but to see how he will do after he gets a job... as another anon suggested, maybe ta just joblessness stress.....

>>18572817
Maybe, but aggressive behavior is unacceptable. He needs to grow up and find a job, not go around taking out his stress on you. Because that's what he's doing: taking it all out on you.

You don't deserve that, but unless he starts hurting you in some way (beyond verbal squabbles), don't hesitate to throw him out. Abuse isn't something that should be tolerated.

You sound like a sweet girl. Don't be a victim of your affinity towards him. Its easy get confused when relationships get like this.

>>18572817
I worded this post >>18572860 pretty poorly but I hope you get what I mean

>>18572860
Thank you anon I got what you mean by your post...

I don't think he understands him losing his temper this easily is considered aggressive... he was pulling at his hair and talking to me through gritted teeth, I definitely felt really anxious then... even when I pointed out by asking why he was getting angry over the DVD thing he told me he "wasn't" and that by me pointing that out; THAT made him angry.

Not sure what I can do right at this moment, just trying to recover from crying (I know it's dumb, I couldn't help it from my anxiety from his anger) which just made things worse, more awkward...

He's not really talking and just dipping in and out of the apartment....

>>18572777
I met my gf online, she left me last week after nearly two years saying that I'm constantly angry. I wish I had a lot of prior notice because I would have repressed that from her too. Talk to him about it.

t. sad guy who fucked up his relationship with angst

>>18572936
I feel like he had already been suppressing his anger for me up until now....

What should I say? It's been like 4 hours since we've fought and my apartment is a tiny bachelor... he just keeps walking in and out of the apartment and sitting in silence.