How do I get into an old mind set I used to have? I need to or

What is it about your old mindset that you want back?

>>18571749
I used to be an agnostic but now I feel like a religious but I'm always looking for signs from god on EVERYTHING I feel like every tiny descision now could have an effect forever I used to be in good shape and proud of myself now I like constantly want to destroy myself and I like feel bad when I'm doing good in my life and I used to think more short term now

I'm just freaking the fuck out about everything I think about soul mates and shit all the time and crazy shit I used to feel like being good would make everything work out now I don't believe it and I've been having shittier luck and I don't have the same morals and I'm not a good person anymore. I don't have one single thing I enjoy or relax me every hobby I have is like incredibly overwhelmed with pressure becaus I can't stop thinking. I always wonder non fuckijg stop about my future career and if I should go to college what decisions I should be making what's wrong what's right I keep thinking crazy religious shit like everything is evil and I have to change my life

Sorry for the rant