any one here with someone that exhibits traits of BDP and made

Her family does. I'd say it's 'gotten better' but I think I've just gotten more woke to their shit and I have the kind of temper that goes 0-100 instantly and I'm telling someone to go fuck their useless whore cunt with a soldering iron.

I don't have any amusing stories, just a bunch of tales of me putting up with a bunch of shit for what is quickly becoming a mediocre lay and none of the emotional support I need in my life.

It's the usual fare. No discussions with them, just listening to them be right; they'll defend the most inane, childish behavior to the death; they demean the people in their family that aren't total shit garbage; they prefer to indulge addictions rather than face the fact that those might be cutting into crucial costs.

It's not good. It's awful. I want out. But I care about her, and the idea of leaving her to them leaves my stomach in a cold pit. She'll get fucking raped if I leave her under their care-- God help me, if I wasn't constantly snarling over her shoulder like a serial killer waiting to go loose, her life would be whatever the fuck her cunt mother wanted out of it.

Fuck me, triggered to hell. ree, etc.

If your gf has BDP, drop her. You will never have a healthy and happy relationship with a person like that. That sounds sad and mean, but it's the truth.

>>18569332

>I don't have any amusing stories, just a bunch of tales of me putting up with a bunch of shit for what is quickly becoming a mediocre lay and none of the emotional support I need in my life.

this is what I want to avoid. I've been through this already. don't want to do it again. This entire family has it or you're partner?

not boogie down production , BPD fuck I'm tired

>>18569355

My partner has... depression and anxiety as a byproduct of it. With gracious patience from my family and rigorous efforts on my part to convince her she is both a worthy individual in the worlds of individuals she encounters, but ultimately nothing on a universal scale, I've been managing to make her see the positive more than the negative. The value in a fight given up over one taken to an end it never needed. Things like this.

I am well and convinced the mother has BPD for sure. All the things; flippant emotional states, a shaky relationship with blame and accountability, only her mistakes are forgivable (but she'll constantly drag up how others screwed her, sure)... I mean, you name it, I can probably give you at least a half-dozen specific instances. I lived at her house for a year (it was supposed to be 3 months as an interim move, which should start the story off good) and my SO and I came upstairs to find her mother throwing guns around that, snockered out of her skull, she planned to deliver to her boyfriend as they were his guns. A man who allegedly has bipolar (though again, I'd peg him with BPD and probably IED).

The siblings are alright. The brother's kind of a douche, but his life is pretty quickly slapping the dumbfuck out of his idiot mouth. The sister is just messed, it ain't her fault in her tender twenties.

The mother is just an incorrigible witch, though. Their grandparents aren't much better (one was adulterous and the other propositioned his daughter, whoo) and I can see where this trickles down but honestly, I had to live through shit, everyone has to-- why be more of the shit?

My partner is largely A-OK as mentality goes but her family drags her down a *lot.* She loves them pretty unanimously and I'm currently basically done talking to her mother after she threw yet another alcohol-induced dumbfuck fit, except this cost my girlfriend most of her sleep and her day at work when she woke up vomiting buckets.

>>18569389
Hmm what I'm dealing with seems mild by comparison. Not sure it's just me or something else in addition to the pd.

>>18569320
it doesn't work

IT DOESN'T WORK

GET OUT NOW

>>18569320
I assume you mean borderline personality disorder.

Generally speaking, unless the person with BPD is aware that their thinking tends to be extreme and illogical, and can stop and evaluate what they're feeling to stop from flying off the handle, it's not really worth pursuing any sort of meaningful relationship with them.

The problem with BPD is that for most people with it, they're just too stuck on the bullshit in their own heads.

>>18569320
that depends. we definitely don't have enough information here. I would start judging people by their actions and not some stupid diagnostic criteria. live in fucking reality, man.

if she's showing yellow flags then read the yellow flags. if she's showing red flags then read the red flags. don't try to be a fucking psychologist, even if you are one at your day job.

as for people who have BPD, although you're probably more concerned with this girl specifically, the ones worth dealing with have got their brains under wraps and don't exhibit alarming symptoms.

>>18569320
it cannot work. she will only get progressively worse over time. i strongly advise you to get the fuck out of there asap, before your life gets seriously fucked up
source: experience

>>18569559
>>18569568
Everything feels kind of rigid with this person. There seems to be a right way and a wrong way to be around them. If I err, it can't just be a mistake it has to mean I don't care or am insensitive. We're not together rn but this person told me they know they treated me bad, but they need me to tell then how to be better. I'm hesitant because if they can't see it for themselves they might be fixing a problem they dont view as a problem and they'll just get resentful.the trade off here is peaceful solitude/singledom vs working for a better relationship. She is getting older and is kinda stuck in life so I would hope she would be serious about improving.

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>>18569593
you can only try it and see if it works if that's what you want to do. how are you with expressing yourself clearly? and with enforcing boundaries?

>>18569320
You'd only be punishing yourself to put up with that. Why do you want to punish yourself?

>>18570535
This something I've gotten better about. When I was with the person in question I was pretty depressed and anxious. I dumped her to focus on myself sought phychiatric help and a shrink. Im still who ive always been but I feel less timid, more expressive and a little more focused.

>>18569320
brag about shit youve never done instead of complaining

You can make it work but don't trash all your boundaries and kill yourself trying.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Hope-Not-Enough-Second/dp/1329444094
^my partner recommends this book

>>18571067
this is sound. thanks anon. I'll check out the book