I'm in deep /adv/. Have this girl in my life whos freakin'

I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. When this started I was young -- I've come far and I'm looking for steady girls, otherwise just avoiding them altogether. I've been thinking of asking her what I am to her and what we have actually is. I know in my heart of hearts that that would probably cause the relationship to end except in the off chance that she's actually reciprocating, which is unlikely (why agree to drop others for one guy when you get free stuff and showers of attention and compliments just by virtue of being a woman?) and I understand that might be healthy. But it feels like I'm just horribly unwilling to accept that outcome.
She's been a credit to my life and added great value, she's taught me a lot, and I'm horrified to death because I've developed feelings for this person and the last time I did that online was in middle school. This person's so far away from me that it's almost infeasible; when I was talking about moving to her neck of the woods (with obvious statements and implications involving having her shack up with me since she'd be my only friend in that neck of the woods) she was nothing but helpful in providing information and telling me what the rent and utilities were like out there, even going so far as helping me look into job licensing. Now I see it as a mistake to have even said such things. I'm somewhere between trying to figure out what role I really play in her life and just enjoying it while I can and letting it die in some way. I'm not sure what to do or where to go so I'd like some outside perspective on the situation. Whatever you can say to help is appreciated.

>>18567715
>Me reading this
>going well, op knows a cool girl, wonder what the adv request will be?
>"exclusively internet"
>OP kill yourself.

On a serious note, knowing an internet persona and knowing an IRL person is much different (duh) And you've not dated anyone. If she's a good part of your life, great. BUT DON'T GET FEELINGS OF ROMANCE THAT DON'T EXIST WHERE THEY DON'T BELING.

Developing feelings is for Real life. Sorry to dissapoint you OP

>>18567729
Unfortunately that's the position I'm in. It's a good wake-up call and it's something I've been wondering myself if this is genuine or all an act. The girls around here are pretty much rotten, had my share of them. One or two stick out and have outstanding issues at the same time that makes me want to avoid them. Having known a lot of people from this and the surrounding areas and having tried to have decent girlfriends from the lot of them but stuff like money, attitude and their treatments of others getting in the way, could be I'm just suffering a pretty large-scale cabin fever and I'm getting sick of my options out here. But you're mostly correct in my needing to keep feelings away from it.

>>18567739
It's not about keeping feelings away. that's just treating the symtoms. You have to check the root cause. And I think it's lonlyness. You have to have a better outlook on people and women. Dating someone IRL is much scarier and painful, but ultimately saying "all women near me suck" when, unless you live in buttfuckistan, is not at all true. Don't lie to yourself OP to not admit of being afraid of a real life romance. I get you though. I'm not blaming you for developing feelings for a long distance "imposible" love over the net

>>18567765
No, I'm dead serious about the girls around here. If I was scared of developing a romance I wouldn't go to clubs and regularly look around and try to chat up people or have people chat up me. Though, hey, the subtle insult of such a notion is appreciated.

I'm surrounded by awesome guy friends -- all people I've met in the professional world and through old, dependable friends, all around to hang out if ask, who hit me up regularly. It really isn't that. I think it's also a little heavy handed to say my view of women is bad when western women are, primarily, not relationship material.

I want someone who brings something to the table. People say I've got stuff going for me and anyone who is my girlfriend I'd like them to say the same. I've focused enough and developed my career, but I feel like (at least in my area) there isn't really anyone who hits that mark.

>>18567796
This is the thing OP. You also have a conflinct. You wouldn't have come to adv to ask about your insecurities if you had felt at all comfortable with the notion of falling in love in the web. You know something is wrong. And you seem to want a girl. And your outlook is not helping. Seriously, if there's something you want, you have to go look for it. I don't know where you live, but regardless of how truth is the fact "that womem suck here" your outlook will paralyze you and leave you unable to act and saying pathetic things like falling for a web persona. You seem like a cool dude and I believe you when you say you got stuff going for you and I sure as hell don't want to tell someone how to live their lives. I just want you to see that as things stand, you don't seem happy. There must be a reason.

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>exclusively internet
Bahahah, stopped reading there.
Nigger, get a girlfriend, you'll forget about this thot.

>>18567843
Most of my conflicts these days are centered around me having an old life that I'm trying to get away from, typical "good kid does bad things just because and sees and out of the ghetto and scrambles for it" feel-good bullshit movie. May as well write a memoir and swim in pretentious hipster pussy in San Francisco or something. Who knows, maybe this is just me running from those old problems and people come back to bite me in the ass for not looking at it in so long.
>>18567875
Since you stopped reading reckon that's rendered you unable to get a full understanding of the situation. I've had girlfriends, and this isn't a oneitis thing -- maybe my standards are high but I've never settled for taking people's shit and definitely not backpacking someone who adds no value to my life. I have no doubt another girl will come along.

However, neither of you have actually answered my questions.

>>18567888
>get a full understanding
Your dick is confused because some bored chick is pressing your buttons the right way, and instead of becoming diamonds, it sends a signal back to your brain "kinda want, woulda make nice trophy, ooga booga".
You're ultimately her pushover.
Hah.

>>18567888
The answer to your original question is easy. If you feel like it, have that online perfect girl be a part of your life but then don't be like MUH WEB HO DOESN'T TALK TO ME IN 4 DAYS. If you are willing to accept that web relation for what it is then be happy about it and enjoy it. Or of you don't then have balls and ask her if she'll ever be interested in meeting IRL.
>but wat if she rejects me and i ruin my friendship

STFU u pussy then.

>>18567715
If you're S, and she's S and 20, get out. I doubt it would be who I'm thinking of, but if it is get out she's an absolute thot

>>18567919
What makes you think I'm a pushover? I'm not exactly throwing cash and attention at her like a pussy-hungry Rockefeller on a coke binge. I take pics when I feel like it and give her attention when I feel like it. At the end of the day, if I really wanted to stop, I figure I could, but she's just too damn useful to have around. Why do you have to be rude about it?
>>18567936
It's a little more complicated than "what if the friendship goes down the drain", though that is part of the problem. She has undeniable utility in fields that I'm never resistant to take help in. And again, it's a little more complicated than just 4 days. I can deal with 4 days, get a little side pussy if it's that much of a problem. But at the shortest it's 5 or 6 weeks, and at the longest, this most recent time, 5 months. You're deliberately exaggerating. Considering this, yeah. I think I'm gonna down a few doubles of scotch, stop running and try grabbing my current romantic life circumstances by the balls like I grabbed my career life by the balls and get my answers tonight. Even if you're a dick, I can thank you for that much, my friend. I've sorted through the debris of your statements and found out a lot about myself.
>>18567943
I dunno who that is but I hope S gets something a little better in his life. I know after this regardless of the outcome things will be better. At the worst, I'll have a clear conscience and one less thing to be stressed about, maybe build a new computer and donate it to a sick cancer video gaming kid to get over the hurt, down the rest of the scotch and get on with life.

>>18567960
Take her pics, figured I'd clarify.

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>>18567960
>What makes you think I'm a pushover?
So I've read a bit more to see if I'm right.
You're like a dog waiting for his owner, giving her attention on a silver platter whenever she comes to collect it, and then she puts you away like a doll she got bored with to go back to doing her shit.
Her shit is interesting. Interesting enough that she doesn't even bother contacting you to say "hi, how's it going mate". You're there for her boring episodes. She keeps you for her boring episodes.
You're boring. You got no better options. You got attached like a little bitch. You want to keep her because you got no substitute.

>I take pics when I feel like it
>give her attention when I feel like it
>when I feel like it
Keep telling yourself that, boy.

>>18567960
Dude, go for it and ask. And yes I'm exaggerating the 4 days thing to prove a point. People can barely handle LTR when they've known the person for years and you'd expect a girl who hasn't even met you to even care about contacting you frequently? Not to be a dick but there this 3 bang rule that's sadly pretty accurate that says that untill you've banged a girl 3 times you shouldn't get emotionally invested in her since she certainly isn't in you. I don't like it either OP but girls can have 3 or 4 lovers at all times and hoping for exclusivity too soon is a going to lead to a recepy for frustration. (also you sound quite literal kind of guy. R u n engenieer? lol)

>>18568006
Only she does contact me to say that; while she was gone for 5 months, I opened my own practice, fucked plenty of girls who were hot but boring as fuck, and picked up some side business with a major corporation in my field. I have other things going on, believe me. So much that I seldom initiate the contact. And if I was boring, why am I there for her boring episodes? You really, really didn't read. Get outta here, man. Show's over. I'm not your kind of fella, and I'm sorry for entertaining you so long.

>>18567960
Male S would be a US immigrant here in my country. Slut S is a meme arab who goes and plays with expectations of others, acts all innocent and 'muh i don't like sex stuffs' but is the horniest fuck out there, gets what she can of entertainment out of others and ditches them.
>was friend with her back in school
>tell her there's a college we should go to because common interests
>she had planned another one but said would think about it
>goes and basically stalking our future classmates
She only went there because she found someone who looked fuckable and she did get it. The guy said he took her virginity but I have massive doubts as she was in relationship with two people in quick succession while at that school.
Now she's in a relationship with the S that I was talking about. I worry that he'll get ditched and hurt. I was certainly hurt when she ditched our fucking friendship, then again, she had lied to me so much that I stopped trusting her even before we got to college. Fuck that absolute bitch, god damn I wish I knew better.
Sorry for the blog post, but maybe there's some other similarities you can learn from

>>18568016
Well familiar with women and how they date; why do you think I'm so weary of trying to have one of the girls around here as a girlfriend when all they're actually useful for is a quick lay, some liquor and a ditch the next morning? Time will tell; I'll give updates on my situation as it develops. I'm trying to savor the scotch because this was an 80 dollar bottle but I'll kick it up a notch.

Good perception you have there. I'm involved in medical work and I'm invested in not making mistakes. Unfortunately I take things at face value fairly often which always makes me wonder and look into if something might be going on behind the scenes. I'm not sure if that counts as making a weakness into a strength but it's something and something is the best thing you can make out of nothing.
>>18568026
Maybe. She's far more open about her sexuality, but she's definitely got other guys going on; that much I know for sure. What I'm most worried about is the "boyfriend" -- if she was just saying that to make me jealous, I'd understand. (I mean, get real. Unless he doesn't know at which point I feel bad for him who would go out of their way to make a name for a character mostly for use in lewd shit for other guys? The man who doesn't exist... or is a simp.)

>>18568019
>bu-bu-but I did this and this, and this, I have options
And yet you stood in your place and waited for your turn like a good boy.
There ain't no other option but to call you either her bitch or property used for entertainment and ego boosting, boy.

>w-w-why would she go out of her way to do this with me?
100 bucks says she does the same with a dozen other guys at the same time, because her ego is big enough and hungry enough.
Oh, you poor little creature.

>>18568040
Probably slept around anyway.
I either want her to become a better person or be left in the dirt where thots belong

>>18568040
I'm a medfag too op... haha guess there are lot of us here in adv. Regardless. Good luck on whatever comes of it. (Oh BTW being literal has advantages, like you don't think too much about bullshit stuff and lost yourself in neurotic thoughts like us methaphorical people. I wouldn't recommend literary critisism as a hobby tho op)

>>18568062
Believe me, I can't de-construct my way out of a paper bag. People say I can write pretty good stories, but to analyze others' is a task that I leave to -- surprise, surprise.
>>18568061
Probably, but I think that's girls from age 20 to 25.

>>18567715
How old are you?

>>18568092
Actually, for the standards of this website, you seem extremely lucid in your writing. Better writer than average. I bet you have exprience writing scientific essays and stuff. And yeah... now I get your feelings even more. Suprise-suprise... haha. I guess if you could put it in a methaphorical way (sry 4 that) Then you are the brains and the passion and she's the beautiful spirit and the heart. Like a ying and yang sort of thing.

>>18568097
I don't believe in throwing my age out on here, mostly as a precaution and from a few bad experiences. Can't say something stupid like "I'm old enough to have been inside a pussy" 'cause even a newborn has that going for them. I'm old enough that I'm starting to get my first few pops and creaks.
>>18568100
Nah, I wouldn't say that at all. She's a technologically gifted individual who's far better with computer stuff than I am in practically every regard, and can keep up with my medical conversations. I have a different kind of smarts altogether, so maybe brains and passion and brains and spirit but we work together just fine.

Update: the scotch kicked in, I went full Highlander and I confronted her. She was forthcoming with the info. Doesn't look like anything romantic will result, but she considers me a friend, and the boyfriend exists, luckily he knows what she's up to. Figure I'll enjoy this while I can and appreciate what it has to offer while I look for my own passable human, might finally be time to move. Maybe on the next absence I'll ditch the Skype account and move to a new one, take the old horse out back and shoot it in the head. Reckon since I stood my ground once it's right back to running. Life goes on, I get a new bottle of hooch and some puss every other week and I have less to worry about.

>>18567715
I can totally understand why you're excited by a girl like this, but why the hell does a woman like this make you want to marry her? What the hell was your mother like?

>Where does she go?
So long as she's coming back, who gives a shit?

>>18568130
I'm not marrying anyone. My money is the sum of my hard work, and being raised by a divorced single mother I know what it's like to see a man gutted and cleaned up for sixty percent of his net worth over a woman.

She's better than a lot of people around here, is all. Maybe if I move to a better area the people attached to the pussy won't be so trash. Not like it matters.

>>18568124
You write like an immature person trying painfully to sound mature.

>>18567715
> I talked to a girl on the internet
> we were friends for more than a week, so clearly I am special to her
bro
buddy
amigo

relax

you's her internet friend; be her friend; she ain't you gf

>>18568138
Well, you write like a late teenager with a smug sense of superiority for being better than some kid on a cringe comp.

>>18568137
this kind of love is for suckers. this woman probably knows how to handle men like pets. nobody is her master. it's just roleplay.

and the whole "nobody is worthy of me" is something permavirgins say so don't give me that shit

>>18568145
Struck a nerve, fedora-tipper?

>>18568145
>cringe comp
not the guy trying to out-fedora you here, but you sound like you spend too much time on the internet talking to weirdos. I would say get laid or, if you can stand doing it again (I hardly can), jerk off. that will solve the issue with this woman. just bust a nut and then go for a nature walk or something. you're supposed to be a doctor or something?

>>18568142
It's been longer than that. The time I've spent to get to know this person when I have a "this fucker is rotten" meter that is spot on all the time usually keeps me from making internet friends. Online I'm a shit social person, better at interacting face-to-face by and large because a pretty huge chunk of the time the nuance of text and feelings that people try to convey is lost on me. So here comes this person who brings value to my life, truthful and seems to have a decent head on their shoulders. I didn't feel anything for a long time. Seemed to spring up out of nowhere.
>>18568147
"Nobody is worthy of me" is retarded and not at all what I'm saying. I have standards for a relationship. Having sex is simple. Finding someone who means something to me after that is a little bit harder.
>>18568154
Getting laid isn't the problem, I'm telling you.
>can't stand jacking off
Damn, check out Chad Cunt-destroyer over here. It's just a tool for me if I want to get laid but don't wanna bother going out of my way. Doc, yes.

>>18568165
>having someone who means something to me is hard
believe it or not, that is on you. enjoy your little adventure. you still have time in your life to waste.

you already know my advice. it's to get emotionally involved with people who are not going to mindfuck you. go the hell outside.

Could be I just have sex and the orgasm boiled down to a stress-relieving biological function rather than something special, but that just kind of smacks of overly-strict religion to me.

>>18568166
I go outside plenty, even mentioned how I have a pretty big friend network of mostly guys who I'm going out with at least once a week at this point to blow off some steam after the grind. It's mostly guys, though. They're better company to me.

>>18568171
>smacks of overly-strict religion
can you focus on communicating meaning instead of posturing and trying to sound smart? I don't even know what the purpose of your thread is because you're more focused on trying to sound interesting and cool.

I literally don't understand what you're trying to say.

>I go outside plenty, to meet bros
meet women then, or like I said, just jerk off

>>18568175
What I was trying to say is I see it silly how other members of my church, for instance, paint sex as a special thing that doesn't grow on trees. Honestly, I dunno what your goals are.

>>18568191
I'm not sure what your goal with this thread or really any of your posts is. best of luck to you anyway, anon

>>18568194
Just making conversation about who I am to help people get insight into my issue, which I resolved. I already came to a conclusion, man. I didn't make you hit post. Not enough willpower to resist it?

>>18568171
Wow OP i must say im impressed. Im the first reply anon and we talked about the most. I must say two things. First sorry for being a little rude out there. Most people here in adv would piss themselves before taking any risks so my tone is harsher 4 tough love, but u went like a man and sipped scotch and confronted her and your problems. Regardless of the outcome that was brave and showed the fiber of your character. Second, I see you as a strong person and i dont doubt you will find another connection. I dont know if soon or as powerful, but i can see someone good falling in love with you that'll u will appreciate. Also, you may want to see your past and how its affecting you now. Im not really sure but there might be some clues buried there that may be of use to find happiness. Lastly, thanks for being honest and respectful in this thread. Its been fun

Oh and one more thing, just I'll say for the shock value and heck of it :) im just a 21 year old med school student. That is true. Haha i bet that IRL this conversation would have been a lot more different. Cheers OP and have a good life.

>>18568230
Smart of you, always nice to see someone else trying to do good by folk. Probably right about my old shit maybe getting in the way of things, but I'll try to avoid that without an actual diagnosis. You were fun to talk to, probably could have turned down my own sass but you gave me a lot to think about. Thanks for making this a good one.