Anybody else here have Avoidant Personality Disorder? This shit

I have. Clinically diagnosed

But I'm pretty sure I'm borderline Counterphobic Attitude. My friend who has a deep understanding of mental illness, said that compared to other people with AvPD I'm on a whole different planet.

My best advice is to be mindful and dare to speak. The worse that can happen with AvPD is that you isolate yourself completely, which in turn obviously can lead to depression (or is a symptom of depression in and of itself.) Expose yourself to other people and you'll learn that it's not so scary. Make it a habit to talk to strangers. You don't have to open up completely if you don't feel like it, just don't become a victim of your mental illness.

I just looked this up and now im 99% sure I've got this too

>>18565726
So you tried therapy?

>>18566593
Can't afford it. Homeless artist living in my studio.

I've found some self-help stuff that helps whenever I actually practice it - and most importantly learnt not to be impatient in my progress. I tend to be quite open and honest with a select few people, so I guess that's some sort of therapy.

yeah. i do what the first responder says. i have to talk to people every day or i spiral. and it has to be someone new.

i also have HUNDREDS of screens of self help stuff from adv and several books. when i'm down i read that, and it charges me up enough to get back out there.

i have to delicately work at my day to stay on top and stay happy, which involves

>exercise
>going outside
>SOCIALIZING(biggest factor)
>work at a skill or homework
> clean my room every day
>do chores every day
> do not play video games for more than two hours at a time
> meditate.

we're going to make it bro.

>>18566674
Yeah, RSD actually helped a lot for awhile there. They teach a lot of self-love and stuff like "you ARE enough" etc etc.

Kinda gave it up after I decided it wasn't going to make me any more likely to get a gf, but still.

>>18566674
>>18566684
Plus, I remember reading that group therapy should help in theory, but people with AvPD are unlikely to show up to it for obvious reasons. kek

I just googled this and it describes me perfectly, but I was never bullied and I had a good childhood so I'm not sure

>>18566692
First poster here.
I was never bullied. I had a good childhood. I got a theory that mine came out of being celebrated for my talent too much, and eventually that got conflicted with wanting to see my peers succeed beyond me, out of pity maybe. Like, I always pretended to be worse at playing basketball, just so my best friend would feel bad whenever I beat him. Pretending to be less than I was, developed into becoming lazy, which spiraled into feeling like I didn't deserve anything good in life.

I'm a fucking good painter, but ever since I graduated BFA I always held myself back, never reached out to any galleries, any time I've put up self-initiated exhibitions, I've not done much to get people to show up to it. I just want to be left alone.

>>18566684
RSD and similar helped a lot. I also have a streak for Zen philosophy, among other things. It has kept me floating.

It has actually gotten me pretty good with women. At the moment I got more offers than I care to take time for.

>>18566718
>so my best friend would feel bad
so my best friend wouldn't feel bad

File: 123423432421.jpg (33KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 800x600px

>>18565715
What a cruel joke AVPD is. Pic related.

>avoid social interaction despite a strong desire to be close with others
>want an intimate relationship but have impossibly high inhibition

>>18566692
>>18566718
Yeah I (I'm op btw) was neglected for 10 years growing up in every which way you can imagine. Wasn't really bullied until middle school. Its funny, I had a lot of friends up until that point but I didn't hang out with anyone over the summer between 6th and 7th grade so I lost all my friends like *that*

Then when I was older I'd get stoned with friends and they would fuck with me all day so that's probably where I got really fucked up as far as self-image goes.
>>18566723
Yeah, there's a couple chicks I could probably date literally right now if I wanted to, but I won't. It's not anxiety either, I just won't do it. But I did ask out a girl for the first time (at 21 years old) last year though and it went about as well as you'd imagine.

>>18566758
Holy shit, I've never realized that, you're right.
At least I know what to answer to everyone who says that they wanted to slap him during the whole show.

>>18566789
Dude, you're just a kid still. Keep at it. If you don't date anyone this weekend, doesn't mean you're not going to in two weeks. Just be patient in your progress. Always count your gains

I dont know if I do or dont. I just try to be social and im sure some time of my life I may give up and be okay with that.

>>18566853
I can try, but if I go in telling myself I'll do it (I'll even know there's an extremely good chance she'll say yes) I just won't. Like I said, not anxiety. Then I'll get a little anxious cause I'm not doing it, then I'll start making excuses, then it's just a downward spiral from there lol

>youre just a kid
But being a 22 year old that's never been on a date is pretty bad. At this point people (girls especially) are so experienced I can't even compete. At least I've had sex, I guess.

>>18566868
>just won't
Are you apathetic anon?

>never been on a date
what the fuck is a date anyway?
Do you want a girlfriend at any point? Or are dates just means of getting to sleep with someone?

Most dates I've been on the last three years have been in private. Usually I just get them to show up at my place. Do realize that it's a different ballgame when you're 33yo, though. And I spend hours text gaming them before they decide they want to meet up. Plus, culturally people in my country tend to date very different to people in the US
Point is I don't really care for dates in public. Not until after I've been with someone alone at least.

>>18565715
I think that you're electing to be weak, not by having these problems, but by quoting DSM and playing helpless. It could be years before you cut this out.

>>18566948
>apathetic
Are you one of the anons who claimed to have AvPD itt? Because it doesn't seem like you understand it.

>dates
I just want a date because I think it would be fun. If it leads to sex or relationship that's fine. In America though asking a girl to come to your place literally means you want to fuck. From what I understand this doesn't work for first dates basically ever.

>>18566960
I knew this was going to happen. Let me guess, do you also like to say things like "depression is just a meme"?

>>18566972
I'm
>>18565726
>>18566674
>>18566684
>>18566718
>>18566723
>>18566853
>>18566948

>understand it
People are different, what can I say. I already stated that I was probably had Counterphobic Attitude. Look it up.

It's not that weird of a question, though. I'm not asking in a judgemental tone, just curious to find similarities.
You're telling us that I could get a date with a few certain chicks right now if you wanted to, but you just won't. I can relate to this, so I'm just asking if the "just won't" arises as a numbing feeling of apathy, or not. Can you explain your reasons, or whatever you want to call the lack of occurance in which the leap would be taken?

Like literally, I'm in the same situation. The last couple of weeks I've been getting texts from two different women who want to meet me as soon as I got time. In truth I've got time almost every day, I just don't. And it's not because they're not good looking, interesting women.

>this doesn't work for first dates basically ever.
I already wrote a disclaimer on this. Also, my "home" is my studio. Inviting someone on a studio visit isn't exactly common in my country either. I haven't fucked every girl I brought over to my place on the first date, it's just somewhere out of the ordinary, which can be refreshing to women. Also, these are mostly tinder dates we're talking about, so obviously some of them will be dtf the first time. (Tinder also work different in different cultures and age groups, so let's not get into that.)

>>18567016
Oh, I see now. I wasn't sure if you were undermining me or not.
>Can you explain your reasons, or whatever you want to call the lack of occurance in which the leap would be taken?
It's hard to explain. But I'll go in thinking to myself "ok, today is the day I'm asking her out" or something to that effect but then when the time comes, even if there's a perfect opportunity, I won't do it. It just won't happen, not in a thousand years. Like some sort of inhibitor that will keep me from doing it. Like I said, it's not anxiety, which I know a lot of other people describe feeling, but it's a very real feeling. Like being annoyed or something. It's the same feeling I had as a kid when I had to go to school. Does that help? Do you not act because of apathy? Or does your Counterphobic thing cause you to go for it and because of the law of averages you end up with plenty of dates?
>I already wrote a disclaimer on this.
Do you mean when you said you were 33yo? Were you saying dating is easier or harder? I couldn't tell.

>>18567038
>undermining
not at all, mate. I don't need to be an asshole to feel better about myself. I'm apathetic a lot of the time myself. Helps me from freaking out over how utterly fucked I've fucked my life. But it's also the root to my lack of motivation, which basically is the reason I've ended up homeless blah blah

I get that it's not anxiety. And I get the annoyance. Inceptive observation, dude.
I get it a lot whenever people comment on my work. Most are always praising it, expressing admiration, and I really don't want to hear any of it. If you got something critical to say, I'm all ears, but I hate when people tell me they like my paintings. I don't get that with women though. They're too much of a vice of mine. I really enjoy making women feel good, so I guess that is the one major thing that escaped my disorder.

It's not so much my counterphobic attitude causes me to go on dates - but I sometimes go to afterparties with people I don't know (people here do that a lot on weekends, staying up for 3-4 hours after the bars close,) - and I get in situations with people that end up way too personal and honest, and it might freak people out sometimes. I go to far in almost spiritual my wish to connect to people.

Btw I don't go on plenty of dates. Didn't mean to sound like that. I'm most content with long lasting flings and relationships of varying seriousness. I don't wish to be exclusive with anyone, though. The disclaimer was that I'm aware that my style isn't common, but that it makes more sense if you're older, and people in my country do dating different to Americans in general - fucking before dinner date is the norm.

>>18567088
>in almost spiritual my wish
in my almost spiritual wish.

?

>>18567088
>I'm apathetic a lot of the time myself. Helps me from freaking out over how utterly fucked I've fucked my life.
God damn, this is exactly what I'm starting to go through now. Did you ever notice one day you stopped having feelings for the most part? And did you notice your attention span going to shit, in addition to not being interested in pretty much anything you were interested in before? Because I've asked a few times on this board and everyone just says I'm depressed (even though I don't always feel depressed) just thought you could shed some light on that because that is something I'm worried about. Also, for what it's worth, this time, with these girls, the ones I mentioned before, it is apathy. Like I couldn't care less about going on dates with them. But even if I wanted to I don't think I would.
>get it a lot whenever people comment on my work. Most are always praising it, expressing admiration, and I really don't want to hear any of it. If you got something critical to say, I'm all ears, but I hate when people tell me they like my paintings.
omfg this. I hate being complimented. It makes me feel weirdly guilty and embarrassed. Criticism shows me the ways in which I can improve.
>It's not so much my counterphobic attitude causes me to go on dates - but I sometimes go to afterparties with people I don't know (people here do that a lot on weekends, staying up for 3-4 hours after the bars close,)
This is a stretch, but by any means did this come from your inability to leave social situations? I feel really awkward leaving, so occasionally I'll be the only one left along with one other person, and I'll usually leave awkwardly at that point, even if the other person wants me to stick around so that they won't be alone. Either that or I leave way early. lol
>people in my country do dating different to Americans in general - fucking before dinner date is the norm.
Are you by any chance in Italy?

>>18567119
>I'll usually leave awkwardly at that point, even if the other person wants me to stick around so that they won't be alone.
Because of the social pressure if that wasn't clear. Just thought I should be more specific.

>>18567119
>notice one day you stopped having feelings
Not a specific day, but at some point I realized I couldn't remember the last time I cried. I used to cry a lot, even in public. I guess it started about the time i was 16, and sometime during the middle of my twenties I was just empty. Ever since then I guess I've become quite stoic emotionwise. People have told me I lack sympathy. Perhaps it's more accurate to say that I don't access empathy very easily. I know I'm able to experience the distress of others, but I'm always fully aware that it only comes if I bypass my logic/mindfulness and go straight for the drama/story. In later years I've been able to cry again, but it usually happens if I feel an extreme need to explain how sincerely I wish to make up for being such a toll on people I care about. I don't get upset about someone dying or awful shit happening to innocent people, but I do get upset about the kind of world we're living in that allows for that to happen. I hope my contribution to live as an example of peace is enough to make up for what I lack in emotional response to other people's joys and sorrows.

I was however diagnosed with recurring moderate depression two years ago, same time as my AvPD. I got it under control for a good while, but recently it has resurfaced. Trying to release on it, but as I said earlier it's important to be patient, and I don't expect it to happen suddenly. Too much shit going on atm.

> Criticism shows me the ways in which I can improve.
Bingo. Fuck compliments. They are useless and make me feel like a fraud. It's shouldn't be this easy to be good at something - which just makes me even more unmotivated.

>did this come from your inability to leave social situations
This is also very accurate. I'm usually the last one to leave the party.

I'm Norwegian.