I'm a 20yo NEET and barely leave the house because I get

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>>18565635
Also I go most days without talking to anyone including my family who I live with

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>>18565635
What's up with everyone saying their life sucks and wanting to kill themselves? If you have issues work them out.

Do you have a job? If your financial situation lets you, try renting an apartment to yourself or asking your parents for the money to rent one. At your age its natural to get depressed if you don't have the independence you should be starting to develop.

>smoking
>anxiety
quit smoking it's probably causing 70% of your anxiety, lock yourself in your room and play vidya for a few weeks while the nicotine leaves your system, then work to desensitize yourself to social interactions. Go to a random neighborhood where you don't know anyone and just walk around it once or twice. Realize no one cares who you are or how you walk, they're on their way to go somewhere and probably barely even noticed you. It'll help that you can remind yourself anyone you do see is a stranger who you'll never see again. Why should you care what some normie on the street thinks?

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>>18565699
I try not to care but when I do something simple like walk past someone on the sidewalk I start to sweat and can't breathe, Ill try to get a vape maybe that could help me quit?

>>18565729
Do you have friends?
What do you do all day? (Seriously)

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>>18565732
No friends, I talk to people on 4chan more then people in real life. I used to lift everyday for 6 months because I was angry alot and had no way to act on it but eventually stopped. I watch YouTube videos,read about history philosophy, and exploits for games I play, I don't play games alot anymore. I also sit outside watching birds when no one is around.

>>18565760
Not too bad, I'd continue lifting if I were you and try to keep yourself healthy, that would be a start. If you want we can chat via e-mail or whatsapp so you can have some social interaction and I can feel better by preventing a suicide lel

>>18565729
vape is better, but you still need to lower nicotine levels, so you'll still go through withdrawal, albeit lesser levels of withdrawal. Best way to go is cold turkey if you can manage it (it's unimaginably difficult), but vaping and lowering the dosage is still a good option

when you start to sweat and have trouble breathing, try to notice if you actually care, or if its just an reaction you've conditioned yourself to have (especially once you lower your tobacco use). Try to just push through - the sweating isn't that bad, and for the breathing part just keep reminding yourself no one cares, and that its just in your head.

>>18565760
a few things you can improve on here, in order of difficulty,
1) get a hobby
2) get a job
3) get friends
4) get a gf (assuming male)

>1
if you have space and its not too late in the season (not sure where you are) try making a garden and planting some tomatoes or something. It's really satisfying to get an eventual reward (food) for your work, and it gives you something to wake up for every day
>2
become a wageslave (the normal route), save up money, move out
>3
going to a church/youthgroup is the easiest way, and as a bonus you know they legitimately care about you. Trust me, they see a lot of people in similar circumstances to yours and want to become your friend to help you, if you get involved with them. Just make sure its a legit church and not one of those """""sjw love everyone its okay if you're degenerate""""" (churches)
>4
related to 3,unknown territory can't help you out (sorry), just try talking to some girls you meet

You seem like you're generally pretty chill (watching birds), so i recommend the garden, maybe get some backyard chickens and watch them eat all day (be careful for predators like hawks and raccoons)

>>18565796
same here OP i have skype

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>>18565797
I'll get a vape then, how long do $20 ones last? I have hobbies, ive worked at multiple Warehouses but would quit after a few months because I couldn't properly communicate with other people, the bosses usually like that I'm quite and just focus on working but when I stay at a certain job for long and people start to notice that I almost never talk they start talking about me. I've had a girlfriend relationship lasted three months before we broke up, I didn't feel sad about it just empty for a few months. My previous friends (who I have known since middle-aged early highschool) where only smoking and talking/playing music. that's what they considered hanging out. I would hang out with them less when I realized they would always act as if I'm dumb, maybe I am dumb but they only brought down my confidence so I decided to just stop talking to them. I'm not a religious person, but my family is. I can't garden because the people that live downstairs use the backyard so I stay at the front near the pathway.

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>>18565796
I came to the conclusion long ago that Im just not cut out for this, I'd rather just leave. Not in a sad way

>>18565878
So just because you don't get along with people you want to end your life?
https://youtu.be/rrVDATvUitA

>>18565842
Don't know much (or anything actually) about vapes, but try to make it so $20 lasts just long enough for you to quit.

it sounds like you're worrying too much about what other people think about you. My philosophy is, if other people want to talk about me, whatever I don't care. Try not to let them get to you; its impossible to make everyone like you so don't bother, just try to get some authentic friends you can relate with

It sounds like your main problem is that you're lonely. Do you have anyone you can persistently talk to? 4chan doesn't count because its different people every thread, and yeah, your "friends" don't really seem like actual friends so much as acquaintances.

Talking to you, you don't seem dumb, just introverted. Do you ever feel like its hard to get your thoughts out to other people? Most people are (relatively) extroverted, so they find it weird and unsettling when someone has difficulty expressing themselves. Seriously, OP, if you don't know anyone else just ask and I'll give you my skype, im on almost all day, and I can relate with similar feelings

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>>18565915
express myself through things I make in Photoshop and after effects if that counts. I don't feel lonely, I got over the idea of being alone forever, it doesn't bother me.

I don't talk about my problems to my mom because I've had the suspicion for years that she may be a covert narcissist ( I don't mean in the way most people nowdays use it) which make sense or I may be crazy which is also possible. Anything I say will be used against me in the future if I say anything to my mom or sister. My mom is friends with alot of the neighbors around here. She knows I have anxiety but would not explain to them that I do but instead tell them I'm lazy which I am but that's not the reason I don't work. She is always yelling and anytime she is being sincere I know it's a lie. (I've seen psychiatrists in the past and tried pills, they only made me feel worse). She also calls me ungrateful which I don't disagree with.

>>18565914
>https://youtu.be/rrVDATvUitA
Thanks, pretty calm music
It's not that I don't get along with others it's that I think they hate me so I don't bother trying to change their minds or have a conversation when I know I'll only make it worse or that they will talk to my mom about anything I say.

>>18565987
>I think they hate me
Well either they are assholes then or you make that up in your mind. Try to meet other people if you want to have friends. Again, if you want to have a conversation I'm there. Also maybe consider moving away from your parents and start something on your own? Don't kill yourself man.
https://youtu.be/9E6b3swbnWg

>>18565968
my thoughts, anon?

Get out. Get as far away from there as you can. No such thing as a covert narcissist, only a narcissist. Just leave your life behind and start over the instant you can afford it.

I think you're lying to yourself about not caring if you're alone forever. People are tribal, of course you're miserable without anyone to talk to. Maybe consciously you don't care, but you still have an instinctual subconscious need for human contact and sympathy. I think thats what draws you to 4chan, a desire for relating and being related to.

Have you heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs? I think you're feeling so anxious and depressed because you don't have that authentic human interaction.

Seriously, if your mom is a narcissist move out. It's a toxic relationship thats just draining the life from you. Psychiatrists and pills wont help you because i don't think you have an actual mental issue, just lack of authentic friends. OP, do you want my skype?

>>18566024
I don't use Skype but I could make one, I don't really need someone to dump my problems on, as much as I want to get away it's the problem of getting past anxiety, I was just outside and over heard neighbors boyfriend who doesn't live here say" is that the guy" referring to me, so I waited a minute before going back inside

>>18566070
if all you want is anxiety management, try taking a melatonin pill and just desensitized to being around other people. realize that its all in your head and nothing physically bad will happen to you. desu it sounds like you do care what other people think of you, and thats why you're so nervous around other people. make an effort to go find a youth group just so you can get used to interacting with normal people again, even if its only once a week.

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>>18566124
Not sure about going to a youth group but I can try going for a walk to the store even though people on my street are outside, I'll listen to the song you posted on my way there. Thanks for trying to help.

>>18566173
not my song btw, theres two of us, kudos to the other anon for posting it though