>see people with disability doing something >really want

>>18564196
OP do you need help?

>>18564196
>see able-bodied person struggling with boxes
>ask if they need help
>"nope, I'm good"
>go on about your day

>see physically disabled person struggling with boxes
>better not ask them if they need help, don't want to shame them
>walk by ignoring them

How is that the better alternative?

>>18564214
Well, because what may look like struggling to me might just be how they get it done. And what i've heard before is that they want to do it on their own, for dignity I guess. If they were really honestly failing at something, of course I'd help. I'm just talking about something I just saw. A guy walking very slowing uphill on crutches like in the pic, carrying a large store bag in his mouth. He was just going so slow, but in my mind I thought he probably doesn't enjoy having to hold the bag in his mouth, but if i offered to carry it for his, would that be condescending or something?

>>18564196
>they want help but dont ask for it
codependency
>they dont want help
so you shouldnt help them
>they want help and ask for it
that is when you help

>>18564214
Its varies form person to person. Some people like to do shit themselves despite the struggle and if someone asks them if they need help, they might think other people see them as incompetent or something. Having a disability can make you paranoid about that shit and its understandable.

Other people just understand other people's point of view and don't mind being asked.

Really I believe the best option is to ask if they are really struggling, if he or she gets mad then that person just wants to take it personally for no reason so whatever, their problem not yours.

File: normal power chair.jpg (206KB, 500x800px) Image search: [Google]

206KB, 500x800px

I'm a wheelchair user, OP, and I get able-bodied people asking me if I need help, trying to help me without asking, etc, all day long.

It does not bother me to ask people for help if I need it. At all. It usually looks like:

>Me: Excuse me, can you get that box for me off the top shelf?
>Other Grocery Store Patron: * anxious look from me entering their aisle turns into a look of relief* Oh yeah, definitely!
>Me: thanks

There's nothing inherently shameful in needing assistance. I don't feel ashamed to call tech support about a product I don't understand. Why would I feel embarrassed about not being able to reach something?

What does bother me is if someone helps me without being asked, because 9 times out of 10 it is unnecessary or harmful. For example, people always think I need help with doors and I've had numerous people jump in front of my chair (meaning I nearly run over their feet) or even rip door handles out of my hand, injuring my shoulder and nearly knocking me over. They could simply have said, "Want help with that door?" and I'd have said, "No thank you."

I think sometimes able-bodied people I encounter interpret stuff I'm doing as "struggling" when I don't feel it's particularly difficult. I've been surprised before by people insisting on doing stuff for me that's the equivalent of someone thinking the few steps from your front door to the sidewalk are too far for you and carrying you there without asking. Good rule of thumb: let someone ask you for help; otherwise, assume they're fine. And if anything involves touching someone or their stuff without asking you've gone way too far.

I'm not really "disabled" physically, but I can't play hide and seek without fucking shit up NOR can I stay quiet in public. I have Tourette's syndrome, and although I appreciate the sentiment when others start making noises to take the attention off of me, it's usually poorly executed. I would rather continue making the noises, considering I can write it off as a disability- but once someone else joins, I risk getting thrown out for disturbing others ("Oh, so you BOTH have Tourette's? Sure.").

It's really up to the individual, but you're not a bad person for asking if you can help. If they refute you or react negatively, just know you weren't in the wrong there! No need to feel bad about offering assitance.

>>18564326
It's not necessarily for dignity, btw, it's because disabled people may have particular ways of doing stuff that work best for them.

Total hypothetical here: Say that guy uses crutches and carries stuff that way erry day, he might have extremely strong jaw and neck muscles by now so it's not difficult to carry groceries. He doesn't want to tell strangers where he lives and doesn't need an aide enough to go to the bother of getting one. If you help him with the bag it has to be a to-do where he takes it from you with his mouth at the top of the hill, and the entire way up he'd be weirded out that he's letting a stranger treat him like royalty when he could just do it himself. So he'd just prefer to carry his own stuff.

Or maybe it is just out of stubbornness. But most of the instances where I don't want help are like the above--it's some long drawn-out reason that it's easier to do it myself that I can't explain to a stranger in a few seconds. So I just say "No, thanks," and they might think I'm just doing it for dignity's sake.

>>18564196
Simple answer: ask

"Do you need help?" will get either "No thanks" or "Yes thanks"

The only insulting (and potentially dangerous) thing is stepping in and "helping" without asking, like grabbing a blind person's arm and pulling them along.

>>18565299
This. The only time when it's okay to help without asking is if you're about to do something unintrusive. For example, I have crutches because of a knee injury and so I obviously move slowly. I had to take a tram somewhere and in my country, you have to push a button at your stop otherwise the tram will just continue riding. Some lady saw me standing up in a very shaky manner and pushed it for me because she was closer to it. I would have asked her anyway since I wouldn't have made it to the button safely with the tram still moving, so that was nice of her.

I'm a physical therapist, so I'm used to deal with people with handicap.
Most of the time the right thing is to let them on their own unnless they are obviously struggling with something. They are used to take more time than the average person to get things done.

If the person is young, you should probably let him do his thing.
Older people are more used to their handicap, and generally more opened to being helped.
Men usually ask less for help than women

Keep in mind that people with handicap are used to ask for help when they need it, so no need to rush...
It's also normal for them to take more time than the average person, doesn't mean they are struggling. In that case it can be rude to help, it sound like you tell them to hurry up.

tl;dr: Help them if they ask, or are OBVIOUSLY struggling

>>18564196
isn't cerebral palsy just a physical disease?

why did his parents talk to him like he was retarded or 10 years old if mentally he was pretty normal.