I'm currently 20, and suicidal thoughts keep coming in and

Welcome to depression and the real world friend. I had same thoughts. You just have to keep sane friend. I had to come to terms with life as well but im much older now (27) just focus on improving your life. If you kill yourself you will crush everyone who knows you. Either seek professional help or figure out these thoughts on your own. First step os understanding you have a mental problem. Dont let those thoughts take you over because one day you will snap out of it and realize how silly you are now in your state of mind. Stay strong.

>>18563246
I guess it's how I figured.
No sense in negative thoughts.

I'll try and keep it away, but it's the natural calibration for my brain.

>>18563233
try and do it, you thinker you.

I got news for you, there is no such thing as a suicidal person, they dont fucking exist. You are not suicidal.

People stand above bridges, but they dont fucking jump! They put guns in their mouths and then remove them!

A tiny portion of the population pulls the trigger, but that doesnt make them suicidal, they wanted to live the whole way through the process with every inch of their being. They fight panic as they fall headfirst into the pavement. You are a living machine. If you are homeless cold and dirty, you will want to live. If someone tortures you and cuts off your penis and gouges your eyes out you will want to live. It doesnt matter how pointless life is logically or how worthless you feel or what pain you are in.

It doesnt matter if you are happy. You fear death above all else.

Take care now, bye bye then!

I've had similar feelings since adolescence.
Read a good write up on teen depression and I liked the explanation and the explanation as to why teen depression wasn't much of a thing 20, 30 years ago etc.

Made me feel a little better understanding why I'm depressed

Take what you want from this

I will never understand these posts.
why do people in first world countries kill themselves so much?

>>18563718
It's a very isolated and numb experience. You have everything to distract you, but no one is genuine enough to stay around. And most people who kill themselves have no one at all for connections, or have mental issues. People aren't supposed to live life doing nothing but work with no communications. We are social beings. Now compared to that African child that is about to die of malaria, starvation, and aids all in one go, yea there's no reason we should be unwell at all. But people are people, not consuming beings that only need food, water, and shelter.

>>18563757
pretty weak excuse dude.
so your depressed like those emo kids back in 08' and so you hand yourself?

you want to know what being isolated and numb feels like? move to my country.

I live in the outskirts of the biggest city in the americans and yet I still get to walk across a crime scene and see decapitated heads of drug mules. and then a short metro ride I can go downtown and see all the members only malls and resturants with all the posh kids eating 6,000 peso meals and bitching about not being in spain right now on their iphones and wanting to kill themselves.

makes no fucking sense to me.

I guess I just go for the little things. stolen internet connection from our state provider and reverse engineering software and keygen making is all I have to look forward too. I live alone in a shitty 2 bedroom house since my grandmother passed away and I work cleaning skylights at night and make 150 pesos everyday no matter the amount of time I work each time.

all of that, and I am still happy.
it's the little things anon. everything else is just that. everything else.

>>18563805
I'm not op and I'm not trying to cover for suicides, just saying there's things you don't see. Also, I'm trying not to back the rich ones either cause Ive never been anything close to rich. Always had the same damn clothes for school where everyone made fun of me for it. Had no home for 2 years. Watched my parents become drug addicts in front of my eyes. And the one difference between getting better or worse is people. Having people around. I remember I had no one with me during any holiday during my teen years cause out doing drugs/getting drunk/fucking people. And thats been the worst memories I've ever had.

>>18563936
yeah i know bad things happen to all people from around the world, it's just alarming and peculiar I guess that it happens in countries like France or Japan when those countries have the highest standard of living in pretty much every aspect of the word.

this kind of shit mentality is how people like elliott rodger was born. he was bitching about how miserable his life is while driving around in a new 2015 BMW and sipping mocha frappe and then he killed a bunch of people and himself??

what happens to people in first world countries that could be soo bad that it forced them to do things like that? I mean in a country like for example Zimbabwe people have actual reasons for committing horrid shit like murder for a need of survival. but what do first worlders have to wine about?

do you have any idea what it's like to live in a place where you speak one language (english) more than the official one?

what I wouldn't give to live in the shittiest part of a first world country like canada or america or japan even if it was surrounded by black people it would still have to be better than the outskirts.

>>18563718

A little extract from a study on teenage depression

Twenty years ago depression in children was almost unknown. Now the fastest rate of increase in depression is among young people. Again, this backs up the fact that most depression is not caused by chemical imbalances, whether in adolescents, teenagers or adults.

What we are seeing are changes in society where basic needs (see later in theDepression Learning Path) for companionship, healthy goals, responsibility, connection to others and meaning are not automatically met. Children, adolescents and teens are fed a constant diet of images showing how we are meant to look, sound and be, and told that this is important in life. Meaning is attached to what they have, or look like, rather than what they do, or achieve.

Regardless of our own affluence, we see what those at the 'top' have and are told we should have it too, without thought for the tools or strategies to go about achieving it. During childhood, teenage years and particularly adolescence, pressure to conform with peers can be almost intolerably strong. If children feel different, inadequate or deprived in some way, then depression may result, depending on how they deal with it.

>>18564032
seems more like a lack of contrast.
if you took those kids and gave them a view of what life can be like, i can grantee most would be pretty ecstatic about being born into a good country and white. yet for some reason I still think there will be some holdouts.