Has anyone been lead on by somone theyre in love with? How

>>18563095
Almost everyone.
Most people are good, but some will ruthlessly use you for whatever they can for as long as you will put up with it.The worst actually use your compassion and tendency to forgive as a lever to control you.
You get over it with anger.
You don't deserve to be treated poorly. Anyone who treats you like that does not deserve your love. Focus on something you like for yourself (I like motorcycling) then find a better person who deserves you.

>>18563110
Im trying anon. This person was the only friend I had. So I got nobody now.

>>18563095
>So I got nobody now
You have yourself.
You don't NEED anyone else, although other people are great to have around.
One of the BS things about how groups work is that being needy puts other people off, so when you really need a friend, it's hard to get one.
The way out of this is to not need other people but be good to them. Soon you will have many friends.

>>18563116
you have us

>>18563095
>Has anyone been lead on by somone theyre in love with?
How can someone lead you on if you're in a relationship with them and in love?

Unless of course, you're another dipshit who thinks they are in love with someone they aren't in a relationship with.

>>18563138
How does being in love automatically go to being in a relationship? Not everyone gets with the person they like

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>>18563138
>Unless of course, you're another dipshit who thinks they are in love with someone they aren't in a relationship with.
That's what's being implied here, of course. I don't care if you think it's not the right term to use and they should say "crush" or "oneitis" or whatever the fuck other term, don't post in threads just to be a snarky jackass about fucking word choice when anyone with half a brain cell understands what OP meant.

To put it clear. Its been going on for 5 years. Its somone Ive been close with since high school

Kinda related question: is it unethical to get with someone you don't love to emotionally leverage said person into becoming someone you could love? I'd be up front about not being romantically attracted of course

Twice, but only "in love" with the second. First girl was my best friend, she led me on because I was hers too and she didn't want to lose me. Part of me thinks she never agreed to dating because she was afraid of the inevitable breakup and losing me, but ironically being led on and rejected time after time killed our friendship. And I'm serious, she was a virgin but we would cuddle and fall asleep together in my bed with my hands on her tits, but for some reason my feelings were never reciprocated, it was hell.

I got over it by agreeing to date a girl who liked me and actively wanted to help me get over her. We dated for 2 years, fell in love. She felt like she had to be single for a bit to grow as a person and we brokeup, but then dated again a month later. Found out it was out of pity and got really angry, then we both did pretty awful things to one another in the heat of the moment. Now she never wants to see me again and I don't know how to get over this one. Tinder one-night stands are fairly easy but I can't imagine letting myself enter another relationship for a long time, and mindless sex doesnt help me get over the emotional pain.

>>18563158
I mean, if you're being upfront and you're both up for it i suppose it's nothing really unethical.

>>18563158
as long as everything's out in the open, no its not unethical. Your intentions are good.

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>>18563147
>thinking that oneitis is love
Believe it or not, snarky jackasses like me are the ones that keep the betas on /adv/ from drifting too far away and turning this board into a hugbox.

OP doesn't love her, at best the girl in question is a friend, OP either didn't ask her out or stuck around after being rejected, filled in the blanks he doesn't know about her with his ideal woman and is kept around as a beta orbiter to use as a bartering chip when she is dating someone else.
source: I dated a girl who had a beta orbiter, she tried using "I won't be friends with him anymore if you stop doing X/stop being friends with X", OP sounds like the guy she was friends with
full disclosure: I knew he was a bargaining chip from the start, once she realised he had no value in my mind, she cut him loose, just like OP will be.

>>18563159
Jesus anon. Im really sorry for that. I apprecaite you sharing your story. In my case my best friend was a guy. Super cool and we have a lot in common. But right now hes pretending not to talk to me cause his gf doesnt like me.

>>18563171
Im a girl.

>>18563171
This
>>18563181
It's same for women except of beta orbiting it's chad sharing, women imagining they have a chance with the chad, and chad enjoying free sex without attachment

>>18563176
That's pretty rough, were you ever directly open with your feelings for him or was it more of just an "it's obvious, and he probably doesnt like me" situation?

I can see why the girlfriend doesn't like you if you two are so close, but regardless it's fucked up for him to ignore you. A significant other should never feel justified in ending a friendship.

>>18563203
He knows I like him. And appatently he does too which I think is BS.

I still care about him as a friend cause hes done good by me.and even tho I love hime I wouldn't run after him if he and his girl broke up

Yeah dealt with a girl earlier this year I hooked up with and got really attached to since I'd already had a bit of a crush on her in the first place. I could tell she wasnt really into me but she didn't have anyone else to validate her so she kept my hope alive until her situation improved and dropped me pretty quickly. She never told me "I don't see you like that" always kept just enough hope alive to keep me on the hook. After a few months of crushing limerence I decided I would listened to my gut and walk away from any situation that seems sketchy before it gets that deep. I'm at the age now where I value my time and dignity too much to chase behind a woman. I've subscribed to the "Fuck Yes or no" mentality. I don't really have patience for slow burners. If she's not relatively enthusiastic in the beginning I'm not sticking around.

>>18563212
>he does too
How do you know this? Yea sounds like he's just naive/confused, and even easily manipulated. I hope the best for you two but I'm happy to hear you wouldn't run after him, he needs to come to you and apologize.

>>18563223
He did apologize. But it was through a fucking text. I wish hed do it in person. Ive seen him dealt with his gf's attitude and ive done all I can to help him. Hell, ive even come to the girls aid. Im glad he still wants me to be in his life but he wants to keep me a secret from her now. I just want my friend back. But anyway, thanks anon

>>18563215
Will you ever try looking for someone else after that?

>>18563259
Yeah. I'm not actively searching for anyone right now. Still working on learning to be happy with myself; I don't want to go into another relationship with any kind of neediness, but if I met someone cool and we got along well o wouldn't be opposed to seeing where it goes. I just know now to keep my emotions detached.

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>>18563095

It fucked me up.

Infact, I spent $2,000 and took 10 days of vacation to go see her.. just for her to tell me she was seeing someone.

>>18563455
Wow, im really really sorry anon

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>>18563482

>met girl online via Interpals
>original intention was to just have a friend to hang out with since I was going to vacation in her country
>we meet IRL
>we become close friends
>when I return home we literally text all day everyday
>skype and call a lot
>we have really deep and personal talks
>one time, she even called me one night while she was having an anxiety attack. She called ME. Instead of calling anyone else. She chose me. I did breathing exercises over the phone with her to calm her down.
>we just get closer and closer
>she tells me "I really really like you :)"
>she sends tons of kissy emojis all the time
>we get lewd
>she says very lewd things
>for 2 months probably 80% of our texts were lewd.
>I ask her to be my girlfriend
>"anon, I really care about you. But, I'm just worried about a long distance thing :/"
>she still continues to flirt
>I think I love this girl
>we talk about meeting again and taking a trip together
>I buy tickets
>2 months before my trip, she goes through a rough patch in life with Uni and work
>I don't hear too much from her
>i feel sad, stressed, and confused why she hasn't been replying
>on my birthday (1 month before trip) I she sent me a video
>it's a flip book she made me for my birthday (pic related)
>it's the most adorable and heart warming thing I've ever seen
>she put a lot of thought into it
>it made me feel so happy
>we talk and catch up
>I made a joke "haha I hope all those guys at Uni are leaving you alone :P"
>her reply "oh! About that, I forgot to tell you, Anon. But, I actually started seeing a guy a few weeks ago. I'm not sure if we are dating now, but I kind of like him. Who knows what will happen!"
>IamAtaLostForWords.avi
>her- "ohhh im sorry to tell you this today... I really hope you're not too upset Anon..
>i fucking break down for the next month
>I go see a therapist because of anxiety
>still go see girl in Italy
>hardest days of my life..

>>18563547
It's called being emotional tampon,
women can go very far to bait you to keep giving them more attention.

The mistake was not hard confirming your status here
>>"anon, I really care about you. But, I'm just worried about a long distance thing :/"
Either you are a couple and fucking or you aren't. Don't make this same mistake again and you should be good to go

>>18563568

I learned my lesson. i refuse to get physically or emotionally close to a woman ever again. I'll be platonic friends with them, but nothing more ever again. That shit fucked me up way too much.

>>18563592
That's exactly the opposite of what you should do

Avoid the platonic friendship situation at all cost. To a beta it seems like the stepping stone to relationship because of all the hollywood movies and shit but it's actually just a dead end of emotional suffering.

Start from fucking and then move towards the emotional side if you are compatible

>>18563592

>I learned my lesson
>cut myself off from all female contact
>and go gay because that's about the only option I have

Nigga you done learned the wrong things. One bitch is not all bitches.

>>18563604

>Avoid the platonic friendship situation at all cost. To a beta it seems like the stepping stone to relationship because of all the hollywood movies and shit but it's actually just a dead end of emotional suffering

I don't think so. Since then, I've got several platonic female friends. It's just friends. So it hasn't caused me any pain or anything

>start from fucking and then move towards the emotional side if you are compatible

no. I don't have sex anymore, and I don't plan on it. As I said, I'm done with girls other than just being friends with them

>>18563609

I'm not gay. And I didn't cut all female contact, I have new female friends. I just won't allow it to move beyond friends

>>18563616
Well I mean you can have friends just for friends, but always remember that any female you put in that pool is forever outside of the dating pool.

>As I said, I'm done with girls other than just being friends with them
I mean that's fine if you feel like that but I don't see how it follows from your story where a friend betrayed you when you would have been happy if you just went for the pussy.

>friend girl betrays you
>would have been no problems if you just fucked her
>hence I will only keep women as friends

it just doesn't follow

>>18563629

>but always remember that any female you put in that pool is forever outside of the dating pool

That's ok. As I said, I'm done with all of that shit. There is now nothing attractive to me about sex or a relationship. I'm really jaded now.

>I mean that's fine if you feel like that but I don't see how it follows from your story where a friend betrayed you when you would have been happy if you just went for the pussy

I don't really understand what you mean

I also don't understand that last part either

>>18563637
She literally was a female friend that caused you pain


>I have a problem with a female friend that caused me pain
>I will proceed to only stay friends with females from now on

>>18563095
Right here. All fingers can point at me for being lead on.

It sucks, shows you how humanity is and this game of life.
>Beta male
>Cute new coworker
>Coworker goes to same school too
>She tries to send me some Herbalife insurance or shit
>Said no she seemed upset that she spent 45 minutes talking to me but I am tight about my money
>Still she used her female charm (big breast nice booty) to have me drive her to her other job
>Drove her 50 miles one way to her job (Herbalife shit)
>She gave me $20 and a free 20lbs whey protein powder.
>I used this since I workout everyday
>Couple days later she asked how was that powder
>Said it was good. She tried to sell me more but I told her I have plenty cuz she just gave me some
>Seemed disappointed but asked me to drive her to that place again
>Reluctantly agree, hey she is a cutie
>All the time she is in the backseat and not sitting in the passenger seat next to me. She goes on to say what a great FRIEND I am and I am not interested in sex and she respects me.
>Arrive to her place chat with this dude coworker in there
>See ya
>Forgoto teell her somethnig, try to go back in but door is locked and lights off.
>Realize she was banging dude
>Met some of her other pals and they told me she used them too
>Couple days later she text again for a ride
>Says no
>Claims it is just in our city like five miles away from her house
>Tell her she can walk that since she is selling healthy shit
>She says I am being disrespectful and ask for a ride
>Bitchreally?
>Tell her if I pick her up she needs to work on the TMS
>WTF is a TMS anon?
>Tongue Mouth Specialist. I have a dick here. Don't want to suck it then don't have me drive to your BF working across town.


Basically after this I had a guys night out and banged a few hoes. Now I am alpha all the way and don't take shit anymore.

Painful lessons but happens to the best of us.

>>18563643

Well it's different in the fact that I decided to open myself up for the first time because she liked me. So I fell hard for her.

I won't allow that to happen again.

Example:
>message French girl on Interpals
>become friends
>Last month I travel to France for a solo vacation
>we meet up and hang out for 2 of the days
>have a good time
>i notice that she's always giggling around me and walks very close to me
>I make sure to keep a bit of spacing
>last day there, we go to her apartment and cook dinner and have dessert.
>it's getting late and I have an early train in the morning
>she says "well.. you can stay here tonight" and gave me a suspicious and shy smile
>I know what she wants. She KNOWS that my hotel is literally 3 minutes from her apartment. She had no other reason to offer
>I politely declined, gave her a hug, thanked her for hanging out, dinner and dessert and went back to my hotel
>she texts me "I had a great time! I hope to see you again one day! PS- you're very handsome :D"

that's a good example because as I said, I won't allow that shit. That way I can't get emotionally fucked

>>18563660
Yes a friend betrayed you and now you will only stay friends because of reasons

>>18563663

What can I say, it fucked me up.

I haven't had many experiences with women. But all of them have been very negative. So it's hard to want to continue this pattern

>>18563667
>negative experiences with woman friends
>I will only stay as friends with women now on

???

>>18563670

how come you keep saying that?

When I say "platonic friendship" like with the French girl example. It's just that, friends. Nothing more. No flirting, no sex, no lewds. Just plain friends. There is no issue with that. That doesn't cause problems.

I'm saying I won't allow myself to become emotional or sexual with them. Because that's where problems start

>>18563679
the woman considered you her friend, if you weren't a pussy you would have avoided the whole problem right at the start without having to be drama queen

>>18563686

Then why did she tell me

>"I really like you"
>"I want you"
>"I want to <insert lewd things>

>>18563694
bait you to be emotional tampon, which you were

>>18563696

I'm not denying that. But it's fucked up. As I said, I will not allow any of that shit again.

>>18563696
That would fuck with me too. Don't see the reason why he wouldn't question if she liked him or not

>>18563619

>not gay
>will not allow females to move beyond friendship

Well you're not heterosexual either.

>>18563712


I am straight. I'm just jaded as fuck

>>18563709
You are emotional tampon to most of your female friends, just because you orbit them so close they don't need to add extra bait doesn't change that.

>>18563711
He should, he didn't
In my first post I stated where it all went wrong and what he should have done.

Asked her out, if she bullshits you then stop contact It's literally simple as that

>>18563717

But I'm not orbiting them?

>>18563721
ye and you thought you weren't baited before as well and here you are autismoing in anonymous imageboard

>>18563725

Then and now is different.

I don't take shit from my current female friends. I also don't get emotional with them. I don't know why you keep thinking I'm orbiting them, I'm not.

Yeah, and its not fun.


I dont have hate for women, I do feel quiet scared and will take a bit of time getting over.


We had so many great times together fucking and cuddling till the sun came up holding each other in our arms, thats the most fucked up part about it all.

>>18563742
The fucking same for me. Except in my position it was with a guy. I don't know why he did when be loved someone else

>>18563095
Thats a universal thing man. Happens to most people.

Heres the harsh truth.

It probably isnt going to work out and its going to tear your heart and soul to pieces. You need to get away from this person (even if youre 'best friends') and focus on other things and meet new people.

You can likely be friends again later but in my experience, thats probably not going to happen either.

You do what you must.

Not worth it

try to separate urself from attachment and next time you wont hurt yourself or others