When is porn use a problem? My boyfriend has a massive porn collection.

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>>18561208
Pic isn't your boyfriend is he? kek.

Until he admits that he has a problem he won't seek help, you either bring up the subject and hope for him to have a realization that he has a problem or deal with it until it put so much strain on your relationship that you guys break up.

P.S you are beautiful Anon, don't think or let anyone,even yourself, tell you otherwise.

>>18561208
I've been married for 6 years, and here is my mentality regarding porn: If I have an itch, it's going to get scratched. My wife is always my first choice, but if she declines to be involved in any way (understandable, since I usually get the urge multiple times per day), then I will go to something like xvideos, and just browse the new section until I see something I like, and get it over with, so I can get on with my life.

I feel that my system is reasonable. If I needed to take hours out of my day just to scratch an itch, I would think that it is a problem.

I would just talk to him about it, personally. Taking hours out of your day to jerk off isn't normal.

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>>18561208
I don't know anyone with a gf that acts like your bf. Are you sure he is real? are you sure you are real?

>>18561217
>>18561221
I've tried to bring it up and he just gets defensive and we have even less sex and makes the porn watching more frequent. I dunno if there's a way to talk to him which will result in him actually talking to me about it.

>>18561231
"Wanna watch porn together?"

>>18561225
Yeah I'm real. And it sucks.

>>18561231
Well, I can understand not wanting to talk about certain subjects in certain situations (like talking about how I feel immediately after my mom dies) but if he's not willing to talk to you about anything, then the relationship is doomed. Your spouse is supposed to be your first, second, and third priority until you have children, at which point they are 2nd, 3rd, and 4th priority, and your children's wellbeing is 1st.

>>18561235
I tried that actually. I don't like straight porn I like lesbian porn and lesbian porn doesn't do anything for him so the whole thing kind of fell apart. He likes extremely young looking girls and anal/incest porn and I was incest raped as a kid so I was pretty uncomfortable.

>>18561239
I guess I just don't know how to bring it up that I think it's a problem. Ive told him the incest porn makes me scared to ever want to have kids with him but he assures me its just a fantasy and other people ive talked to say they have the same fantasy. Sometimes he sits with the windows behind him and makes comments about how he's texting his friends when I can literally see in the reflection he is just scrolling through porn...

>>18561246
How extreme? Young looking enough to be confused with underaged?

>>18561254
If its a problem that he isn't willing to fix, then you have to decide whether the problem is big enough to dump him over.

Just keep in mind that women have their highest sexual market value when they are young, and men hit their peak in their 30s. Don't waste the best years of your life with someone you know can't manage his shit.

>>18561246
>>18561239
>then the relationship is doomed.

>incest porn and I was...
Seems he was only interested in his kink of incest and since you fit that part,yeah..

>He likes extremely young looking girls
Extreme RED flag, If this continues he'll get more deprived and eventually normal stuff won't get him off any more and he'll start doing some dark web stuff... if you know what I mean.. He's headed towards a dangerous road.

>>18561255
All the barely legal looking porn stars that are flat chested and wear pig tails and stuff. Nothing actual illegal. I think it ties into his incest fetish. I saw that he reads stuff on literotica about seducing your sister and stuff. I'm pretty sure he's very attracted to his younger sisters. But it's just a fantasy. I don't think he would actually have sex with them or harm them. He said it's all about the taboo and that he doesn't think about his actual sister... but a few of the porn starts look a lot like his sister.

>>18561260
I'm not worried about him cheating on you with his sisters. I'm not even worried about his porn browsing habits. It's just possible that he's a pedo (or whatever the teenaged equivalent is called), and you aren't pedobait.

I can't tell you to bail out of the relationship, no matter how big the red flags are, or how many there are. But I can tell you that the longer you wait to address the problem, the less willing he's gonna be to fix it.

>>18561257
He didn't know about that and I broke down crying about it. He said he won't be able to get off to anything like that ever again after I told him everything. I haven't even tried to find out if that's actually true or not because I bet it isnt. You can't just turn off a fetish.

>>18561267
I was worried about that too but when I looked at his porn collection without him knowing I didn't find anything underage. He said one time he saw actual pedo stuff and it made him physically sick and he lost his boner and couldn't finish. None of the women looked under 18. Most of it was normal aged women I'd say only 1/8th of it was the barely legal models. Do you really think it could escalate that bad over time?

>>18561237
Are you ugly? post pics?

>>18561268
In my opinion, his kinks don't really matter to me, and I don't think they should matter to you. What SHOULD matter is that you're his first choice when it comes to getting off. If you aren't, then there's a problem. If he can't get off quickly to porn, having to search forever, that's a problem.

>>18561275
>Do you really think it could escalate that bad over time?
If you mean waiting to address the problem means he won't be willing to fix it, yes. I don't know whether he will go full pedo. I don't know him. That said, if you move in with someone, and don't ask them to do the dishes in the sink for 2 years, they aren't going to be very willing to do it when you finally bring it up. But if you bring it up at the beginning, they are gonna want to make the situation work, and be more attentive to what you want. This is why its a bad idea to room with close friends - they assume you'll be cool with whatever they do, whenever they do it, because you're such close friends.

>>18561278
I don't think I'm ugly. Maybe slightly above average but I don't look like a model or anything. It hard to answer that question without giving a picture but I don't really feel comfortable doing that.

>>18561285
post one to imgur

>>18561285
Not who you were responding to, but it doesn't really matter if you are. There are tons of ugly chicks that can still attract good men.

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>>18561285
>giving a picture..
You're not supposed to on an anon-....

>>18561208
Anyway we can give you all the /adv/ you want, in the end though it's your relationship and your choice in what you do. My hope is that he does seek help and that the relationship can be salvaged but it'll take a lot of work, patients, and forgiveness from both parties.

You're dating a weak degenerate. Dump him immediately. His mind is corrupted and he thinks only with his dick, he sounds like a waste of oxygen.

>>18561281
I guess they don't really matter do they. I'm just trying to find something to lay the blame on because I feel like my sex life has died. When I bring it up it seems to make him pull further back into himself. When I tell him I want him he acts like I just asked him to do the laundry. I just miss feeling like he actually wants me. I told him I'd try any kinks dressing up or whatever but he just seems more interested in porn I don't really get it. I even told him I would be okay with having threesomes. Maybe he's depressed or something. I dunno how to get him to open up about what hes feeling.

>>18561321
Sounds like a "porn creep." It's a real phenomenon, and it destroys relationships. He won't think its a problem until he sees people he was with marry other people. Those other people could have been him, had he just been willing to not look at porn. Then he'll try to stop, and realize his addiction and seek help.

I mean, I wouldn't tell you to just give up and leave, but if you decide to talk to him about it, you need to be clear that you're gonna leave unless he quits, and hold him to that, saying that if you aren't his first choice, you deserve to find somebody who will put you as their first choice.

>>18561338
I don't want to let him turn into that. But I also don't know what to say. I feel like if I even begin to say the words porn addiction he's going to be confused because it sounds ridiculous unless you see it happening. I've always rolled my eyes at the women who get mad at their boyfriends for watching porn. I never thought it could really be an issue. I just don't know if he's actually going to realize it until later in life like you said and idk if there's really anything I can do. I don't want to just start arguments. And I dont want him to feel like I'm holding an intervention or somehing.

>>18561357
Well, if it is a problem, and you want to be with him, it's a conversation you need to have. If it's a problem, and you don't want to be with him, you can just leave. If it's not a problem, then why are you here?

>>18561363
It is a problem but I don't known what to say without it becoming a full blown argument. It does need to be talked about. I guess I'll think about what to say tonight. Thank you for ur replies.

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>>18561368
You're welcome Anon/OP. May Good Luck Cat be with you!

>>18561368
Just because something becomes an argument doesn't mean that it's going to be bad for the relationship.

If there needs to be an argument for shit to get better, than have an argument.

>>18561370
Thank you, I hope it goes well.
>>18561371
Very true. A hard thing for me to accept though. But I wanna make things better.

>>18561208
Offer to relieve him instead when he gets these urges

>>18561208
>saving pictures of girls faces he added

Thats creepy af.

Anyways OP first... Most men watch porn and have a folder of pictures. Im very attractive to my wife and i love her and i have one.

You women have your feelings and things you swear men dont understand and never will, and we have ours. This is one. Were just like this and it doesnt mean were cheating.


Having said all that: what your boyfriend is doing sounds extremely excessive and theres something mentally wrong. He needs a doctor.

>>18561208
>when is porn use a problem.

Btw. Actual Medical answer on anything at all like this:


There is no quantitative too much or too little. The line is when its actually having a measurable effect on quality of life.

Id say your bf is there.