In my late teens my porn and my fantasies were mostly straight and occasionally gay. I only fell in love with and obsessed over the girls I knew in school. I didn't feel the need to act on the gay urges I sometimes had. Perhaps I was afraid to, but I felt fine identifying as straight for the sake of simplicity. Life was pretty fulfilling regardless.
In my early twenties I thought I'd already peaked sexually. I still thought girls were pretty, but my urge for sex seemed diminished. I didn't even jerk off that often anymore. I got somewhat depressed and felt that everything was monotonous and bland. During this period, I somehow still managed to get a girlfriend, but that didn't help.
I'ts been a couple of years now and I'm in my mid twenties. I just realized that my porn has shifted from mostly straight to mostly gay. I occasionally think about men to stay 100% during the few occasions I'm intimate with my girlfriend. I find her extremely pretty, and she's just what I used to consider my type, but it still feels strange.
A few months ago, I even made the mistake of cheating on her. I chatted with some guy on grindr and got so horny it felt like I had an aggressive fever or something. I hadn't felt that sort of sexual urge since my teens. I met up with the guy and sucked his cock. Just having him in my mouth for a minute made me twitch as if I was about to cum. I didn't even have to touch myself.
What's happening? How do I get off this train? Can you change your sexuality after all? My libido has returned to me completely now, but it's pretty close to full-blown gay. I sometimes try to force myself to watch straight porn, but can't help but self-insert as the girl. Help.
Maybe it is not about changing rather what you have always been.
Seeing beauty in a gender (like your girlfriend) is not something thst comes from sexuallity but simply an objective oppinion on traits like not having acne and beeing fat.
I have had similar thoughts. But it was rather with traps. Gay porn had nothing for me. Hooked up with a guy. I was not even remotely hard, although the guy was very chill and friendly. And now im not even attracted to traps anymore. Like i know now that im neither gay nor bi at all and it all was a blurry fantasy that has crumbled.
Sounds to me like you were always gay but you were simply not aware of such a possibility. Repressing your real feelings.
Although if you get normally up with your girl, and are attracted to her, you might be simply bi.
As far as the definition goes for me, you are either homo or hetero if you heartly csnt even stand the thought of doing something with the equivalent gender. Everything inbetween is either bi or bi curious.
Or btw. You may get aswell a dominant girlfriend that might also peg you once in a while. Heaving red amazon reviews about strap-ons it seems to be like an upcoming trend..