>17 years old parents on vacation get the house to myself

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>17 years old parents on vacation get the house to myself
>do a bunch of drugs with some friends
>female friend has problems with her bf and asks if she can stay at my house
>do a bunch of drugs with her
>always had the hots for her but she rejects my advances
>loves to tease though
>one night while drunk she falls asleep
>fuck her
>she leaves next day and calls me, tells me she hates me
>after awhile talk to her and she decides not to press charges but doesnt want to see me again
>fall into deep depression after realizing what i did
>quit drinking and drugs
>year later
>parents out again, different girlwants to stay over
>constant tease but rejects all advances
>ask her for sex
>she says no but wants to spoon
>hard as fuck but as im touching her i notice shes asleep
>stop and fall asleep myself
>feel good i didnt make the same mistake
>bad that im always rejected
>in the end she ended up using me

I still feel bad about it and bad about the fact that i cant understand people. Give me some advice.