How do I stop holding grudges? It's ruining my relationships

>>18553809
Did someone in your youth hold grudges like a parent. This could be a learned behavior.

>>18553809
You have to be more specific. What do you mean by holding a grudge? Bring an example.

>>18553811
It's a possibility but I'm not sure. A friend or lover does something wrong towards me and I'll be filled with hate for a couple weeks or more, it's incredibly hard for me to forgive and forget.

>>18553822
Did your parents do that same kind of behavior when you did something wrong as a kid? I know how you feel. I grew up with people who played emotional mind games. I'd get pissy over little shit all the time in relationships.

>>18553831
Is it possible that current relationships could be the source of this? I've been in a short relationship with a girl for two years now, and she's very quick-tempered. In our very early stages of the relationship everything was fine however after a long time I've changed and also became quick-tempered as well. Is there any fix to this?

>>18553809
Along with this >>18553858 have you considered if there is anything you have said or done that could have caused someone to act in such a manner? Generally people who hold grudges also tend to inadvertently hurt people with an insensitive remark or two that could inflame others and cause them to act shittier then they normally would.

OP you just got to remember on good moments with the people you care about and then think to yourself, "Do I really want to run this person off?"

>>18553858
You gotta be mindful of what your doing. Be observant of your inner dialogue when you start haveing grudges. So when you get in a mind set of holding grudges. Pick those thoughts apart find the flawed thinking and why it makes no sense. Also talk to your partner be open with them and let them help. Let them be aware you irrationally hold grudges. Try a combination of these things and see what works. Start by catching yourself in the act of forming grudges. Be aware of them. Question there authority. Key thing is to be persistent.

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I know how you feel. I grew up. Did your parents do that same kind of behavior when you did something as a kid?