Is there a word for not always feeling emotions? I'm finding

>>18553688
It's called numbing out. You become void of emotions I've had it happen to me. Not fun.

>>18553688
All I can tell you is that I'm the same way.

>>18553688
Your not broken. This problem is very fixable.

>>18553688
To be honest, I've always wondered why people are sad when a grandparent dies, they lived to be so old aren't they lucky?

>>18553721

I mean, I feel I'll regret not seeing her and stuff, that she'll suffer (she's incredibly sick). And a part of me is scared I'd feel this with anyone. Like I would care minimally, that I don't form bonds/love/relationships like a normal person does.

I tend to enjoy instant gratification, and am extremely sexual, so I procrastinate on things a lot (like I should be doing something, but I'll look at porn/fap/browse whatever website instead). Sex has actually been a big problem, and my thoughts regarding it lately worry me.

>>18553693
This. You probably take longer to process your emotions than other people, and so the emotional response is delayed. I'm the same way.

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22KB, 480x426px

I gotta say, there's nothing quite like feeling that you're burnt out 24/7

>>18553688
emotionless
emotion-less

>>18553769

I figured maybe there was some disorder since my brain is already fucked up. I guess it's comforting that this in particular isn't completely out of the norm, still scary sometimes.

>>18553688
Not everyone experiences grief the same way. Some people need time to process. It sounds like that's what happened with your bf. Clearly you're not incapable of emotion if you felt like you were being eaten alive by the guilt later. It just means your mind was too overwhelmed to know how to act in that moment. I think this sort of reaction to grief is pretty common, but it can be hard to understand for people that don't experience it. If it bothers you that people see your reaction to loss as being emotionless, maybe you could explain these feelings to your bf so that he understands better whats going on in your head the next time you behave like this.

As for your grandparents, I think that's fine. If you weren't close to your step grandfather than it's normal that it wouldn't impact you too much, but you must have felt empathetic to your step dad if you cried with him. With your grandmother I think it's a little of both situations. Even if you logically understand that she could be gone, the emotional impact hasn't set in yet. Also, it's okay if you don't end up feeling grief for her if she does die. We grow up knowing that our grandparents will be some of the first people we know to die, and I think that helps us mentally prepare for it in a way. Your mother feels differently because losing a parent who raised you is much more impactful than losing a grandparent.