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I think I find myself in relationships more often than I want

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I think I find myself in relationships more often than I want to be in them. I've been in 5 semi-serious relationships and have never been the person to take initiative in starting them.

Is it normal to feel like you just happen to land in relationships? I'm torn between feeling like I'll end up alone and that my prime is behind me (I'm 25 now) while thinking that no relationship has really fit me yet.

How do you all balance the fear of being alone while trying to maintain agency in relationships?

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