Broke up with gf couple months ago due to lingering depression

>>18550910
I went through the exact same situation, except my ex wasn't a virgin and we were together for a very short time so didn't have the opportunity to have sex.

I felt deeply hurt when he left me and the next 3 months he didn't talk to me at all and I thought he hated me and we would never get back together. After 4 months since the breakup I decided to sleep with some guy I met. It probably sounds stupid, but I figured, might as well lose my virginity to someone I don't care, so when he leaves me too it won't hurt.

Her sleeping with someone else doesn't mean she doesn't care about you, or doesn't respect you. You dumped her, what was she supposed to do? She can't have known whether you'd ever come back to her or not. I understand you feel horrible, that's normal, but you let her go and these are the consequences. If you can't handle it still then there will always be a feeling of resentment on your side and the relationship won't work out again

How long were you together and why did you guys not have sex? Just nervous or?

>>18550910
Whoops, your bad. It wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a punk and stayed with her in the first place. Breaking up with someone because you don't want them to worry seems counter to everything I understand about relationships. Too bad you're so retarded but she didn't do anything wrong and it's entirely on you.

Nothing to be mad at her about as far as I can see.

You won't be able to get past it. It'll always be at the back of your head. Unless you go out and have sex with other girls to even things out. That's the reality kiddo. I am speaking from experience.

>>18550910
women are not this wonderful getting butterflies, she wanted to get fucked because she wanted sex as a stress relief
stress you put on her, consider this as you punishment for being retarded

>>18550920
I didn't explain it properly in my first post, but we did lose our virginity to each other. I'm also aware that I'm in the wrong in this situation, I just don't know how to deal with knowing what she did. Thanks for the genuine reply.

>>18550921
Hey dude, I'm aware I fucked up. I thought I made that pretty obvious. All I was asking for was advice on how to deal with it.

>>18550935
Why is this place called advice when everyone just gives a judgement and their opinion without even trying to offer advice on the question op has?

>>18550940
This is what happens when you break up. She had no obligation to stay faithful. Did you guys talk at all after the break up? If not, then how could she know you weren't sleeping around?

None of this is her fault. If you can't accept that then your relationship will inevitably fall apart

>>18550947
No we didn't talk at all after the breakup, she wanted to be left alone so I left her alone. I know it's not her fault and I know that letting it play on my mind will hurt the relationship. I've acknowledged this and its why I'm asking for advice on how to get over it. Out of the replies I've gotten so far everyone has just chimed in to say I'm wrong and I deserve this and I'm not denying it. Can you please just actually give some advice on what I asked advice for? If not then that's fine, but I don't need more people telling me that I fucked up.

>>18550910
it's a good first step that you recognize that it's absolutely not her fault and she's not in the wrong. i think since you just found out, you're going to feel really strongly about it and that's fair too. i think that if you don't blame her, and she can understand that while you don't blame her, it makes you upset and it's something you're going to have to get over, you guys can make it work.
as far as i understand from your other posts, you lost your virginity to each other? that would make things more difficult. the less of a sexual history you have, the more significant it seems. it can be easy to get caught up in it; wondering how you compare, and if she thinks about it, etc. but i can tell you right now that you need to push through that. don't get too in your head about it. realize that if she wanted to be with someone else she would be, and that it was a one night stand for a reason.

i've struggled with depression in a relationship, and with letting jealousy get to me. i won't get into my own problems in your thread but you really just need to focus on the big picture; how much you love her and how much you want to be with her. it won't be easy, and you may think about it every day for the next 3 years, but if she's worth it she's worth it

>>18550966
Thanks for helping my friend, also congrats on being the only person in the thread to actually try giving advice. :)

>>18550962
I won't sugar coat this.

You will never get over her fucking another guy and if you are determined to start the relationship again you will resent her, almost hate her, 90% of the time and if you think you were depressed before get ready for the biggest prolonged mind fuck of all. On top of that there will be resentment from the hurt she experienced when you broke up and it will be difficult for her to trust you won't do it again.

Doesn't matter who was at fault, the circumstances or why. My advise, do not start a relationship with anyone right now.