So, I think my best friend is getting tired of me. We've been friends for nearly 8 years. Yeah, we've had our ups and downs but the bond has always remained pretty strong. However, I've noticed that she seems less patient or excited when she hangs around me.
Both of us have mental illnesses; she's bipolar and has anxiety, while I have anxiety and depression (major depressive disorder to be specific). Recently, she admitted that I'm kind of a drag to be around sometimes. I have a tendency to get quiet or space out when I'm with friends; sometimes it's because I'm just daydreaming, other times it's a little more serious. But it's never a reflection of them or because I'm having a bad time. It's just the way I am. We talked about this and I told her that I'll promise to be a better friend and manage my symptoms around her. She had a really bad temper when we were in high school (she would rip and break stuff and get into arguments with her parents, teachers, etc.) and I felt she'd understand.
But ever since then, she seems to have ZERO tolerance for anything I do that's not normal. The moment I get quiet she'll tell me to "quit doing that thing". So I feel pressured to not show any negative emotion around her now.
Just right now, we were planning a girls' night out with another friend when I started feeling an anxiety attack coming on. I didn't want to run the risk of ruining their fun so I decided to stay in. When I tried explaining this to her, she hung up on me. I explained myself in the group chat and she went off on me.
So now I feel even worse than before. I hate pissing off people, especially those I am close to. I don't know how long she'll be mad or how to make up for it, other than offering to meet up next weekend.
Any advice?
Hey OP,
You're probably not going to want to hear this but your friend seems like a bitch. If she has problems of her own, she should probably be more understanding of yours seeing as you deal with hers. I dated a bpd girl for five years so I have more experience dealing with people with mental issues than I would like, I've heard that people with bipolar are really hard to be around if not more so sometimes.
Maybe try talking to her about the fact that she should be more understanding of who you are, considering you accept her for herself? If she doesn't care or doesn't want to make the friendship work you'd honestly be better off finding a different friend.
A couple questions: are you male or female? Are you on meds and/or going to a therapist? Is she?
>>18550079
Whoops disregard the whole female male thing. I just reread the bit about a girls night out.
Friends come and go. Probably your interests are diverging. Hang out with people who share your interests.