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I don't know how to act around people. I have anxiety and even the times I get over my anxiety I end up saying something that """normal""" people find very odd.
I'm very abrasive, even to my good friends. I suspect that most of them are starting to get fed up with my "antics." In a lot of ways, I'm still caught up in the middle school/high school stylings of being annoying/offensive to get attention and it's become increasingly harder to stop myself from being that way to my friends. I essentially treat most of my good friends the same way most people treat people on 4chan (calling them faggots, making fun of them for small things, etc.).
The worst part of it is that there's this deep part of me that believes that edgy, abrasive side of me is my true self and that anything else is just being disingenuine. I'm often dogmatic about even the tiniest of issues to the point in which certain conversations are basically taboo among my friends because of my "strong" opinions of them.
Beyond that, I think a lot of the people around me see me as condescending even though often times my intentions are pure. I'm one of my only friends with a job that makes a significant amount of money and I often (perhaps too often) offer to pay for my friends to be able to come to different events and I think they think I'm an asshole because of this even though I'd genuinely rather spend my money to get an opportunity to spend time with the people I can actually get along with over spending it on myself.
I just really don't know what to do. My amount of friends on social media has literally declined over the past 5 years from 150+ to around 50 now due to my own alienating actions and the reactions of others. The few friends I have now are the only people I interact with outside of my family (rarely) and coworkers (which I can't bring myself to really communicate with effectively).
Any advice for someone just having trouble being relatively likable? Or advice on avoiding alienation?
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>>18549838
Haven't you learned how to act differently when in real life than when you're on the web? You should've learned the times when you should meme and you don't. 7th through 9th grade is when I thought anime love stories were just like real life. Y'know, you look at a girl and then you wait til she looks at you and you look away quickly showing her that you're embarrassed or whatever. Shit like that. I grew out of it because I realized that they were two different things, internet and real life. You should've learned that by now. There's not much you can do, you cant just flip a switch. Just tell your friends what you said here, let them know that you don't enjoy being an edge lord irl.
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>>18549838
Just make more of an effort to be conscious of the feelings/comfort level of the people around you, and try not to upset them unless you're actually accomplishing something. Treat people the way you want to be treated, you know?
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>>18549860
>>18549866
Thanks.
How do you guys feel about my issue with spending money on friends? Is there a better way to be willing to pay for people and seem less condescending? I usually make a really conscious effort to not act like an asshole or anything when I suggest I pay/help pay for something.
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>>18549884
It's usually better to suggest activities that everyone can afford to cover by themselves. Most people don't want to feel like a charity case, or feel like they're being paid for friendship. It could come off condescending, but it could also come off desperate. One way or another it just creates an awkward situation
I would say just don't do it unless it's a REALLY special occasion.
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Like someone said in a previous post, the internet and real life are different. Basically, just because you see it done in a porno, does not mean it will work the same in real life.
On the internet here, it's all anonymous. You can pick any persona you want. With your friends, in real life, you don't have that luxury. If your name is "Ben" and being "Ben" is who you are to them, you can't just change that persona and become someone else and say things to them only Pepe loving people would say on here.
Please, split the internet and real life up. They don't need to be seen as one in the same and maybe that is were your issue lies.
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