I went to a rented summer house with 7 guys because of my friend's

And they say it's women who all hate each other and shit on each other.

>>18546652

sounds like a weird petty situation on the surface, but I've been there so I'm going to assume there is a pattern here.

and from my expreience you can't necessarilly stop it before it happens. People look at you this way for a reason, and often its just how you look. people don't treat me like I'm a bad person, but because im short and look like a cute 16 year old boy, I get a lot of shit. people don't see me as a real man and they aren't afraid to flaunt that.

as a result I tend to make sure I have some sort of 'power' in a relationship. in your case you had all the power, but you chose not to flex it because it was your friends party. If he is a good friend, and he should be considering what you did for him, he should be understanding when you put your foot down about someone being a tool and having them leave.

If someone disrespects me I call them out on it. Its as simple as saying 'that was a disrespectful thing to say, don't do it again'. if they argue the point, I throw in the thread 'You are wrong, it was disrespectful, continue to argue the point or disrespect me again, and you will have to leave.'

then if they don't stop, execute your will by any means necessary. It will alienate people, even people you thought were friends or DID respect you. you have to remember that you are being judged by 'nice guy standards'.

its a lot like on TV. you ever see a show like say, 'how i met your mother'? the main character is a normal guy, so we judge him by nice guy standards. fans began to hate him for any tiny bad thing he did. the other character 'barney' was practically a villain. he admitted to doing things like SELLING WOMEN and implied rape and the like. but we treated him with 'bad guy standards'. so anytime he did something bad thats just 'him being him'. if he did something nice, we praised it.

you're the first guy. you do something nice, its expected. if you do something remotely not nice, you're shit on.

>>18546680
>>18546652

unfortunately there is no middle ground where you can assert your authority and then keep all your friends. if you are lucky that will naturally happen, but there is no 'promise' of that if you will. some people will leave. and along the way you might be unreasonable, not going to lie. sometimes asserting your authority is extreme and unnecessary at the time, but it helps ensure that you are not taken advatnage of again and that can be very important to your future and happiness.

so don't be afraid to flex your power. and I cannot stress this next part enough

ALWAYS. FIND. LEVERAGE.

File: foto_no_exif.jpg (2MB, 2340x4160px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 2340x4160px

>>18546680
I'm not sure if it's the way I look, I'm quite insecure about that especially since I was told I have narrow shoulders here.. I'm 6'0 slim. Pic related. My face is narrow too, like really narrow, though it's proportional, with a strong jaw and doesn't look like a boy's - except for its size. Perhaps it is more my mannerisms.

Well hitting him would be really awkward, most people probably didn't view his behaviour as anything especially provocative and I got white with anger. Basically they think I'm unstable already, and my friend wouldn't have him removed, but we're leaving tomorrow anyway.

>>18546760

you posted the other day complaining about your legs or your shoulders or something.

i definitely didn't suggest hitting him, i suggested enforcing your will.

you paid for the summer house, you can legally have him removed if needb e. if thats too 'extreme' for you then you are not going to get far with this whole assertive thing. if people don't take you seriously you have to push back to what may seem like a ridiculous degree to show them you're serious.

I once pulled a gun on my own brother because i was tired of him controlling me.

>>18546686

>ALWAYS. FIND. LEVERAGE.

Always. One-hundred percent of the time if you can.

>>18546652
In addition to being assertive about your needs, remember that no matter what, people will sometimes disrespect you, and even you will sometimes disrespect other people too. Just don't take it personally.

>>18546790
I don't think that's how you should do it. I already became a pariah overnight because I looked at him with rage at what seemed to be totally trivial for others. Then I went the fuck out to cool down and only came back after 2 hours and when I returned everybody acted as if it was fucking weird and asked where I was etc., that they were 'worried' about me as if they were afraid I'd kill myself or drown in the lake. Currently we came back home and I think they view me as a mentally unstable guy now.

I think there should be some sort of balance between being assertive and being social/polite or whatever, I just didn't fucjing find it. I think I should have voiced my objections when one of those (2) faggots fucked with me but I'm not very good with words socially and I didn't know what and how to say.

>>18547304
What do you mean by leverage? Should I have some card to pull to gain advantage over such faggots? Such as what?