how the fuck do you open up to your lover? i'm afraid that

She would.

communicating with your girlfriend and asking her for support will not make her go off and fuck some chad. if she's capable of doing that she's a piece of shit & the relationship was doomed anyway

i wish my bf would share more things with me but he's not capable of doing that and it doesn't make him look strong, it just makes me sad. if your girl cares about you some vulnerability will make her love you more, not less

If she really loves you, she will support you. The losing respect thing is a meme. When my bf opened up about his suicidal tendencies, it... didn't make me happy because his problems were nothing to be happy about, but it did mean a lot to me that he was able to trust me in such a way. If you've been together for a while and can tell that she likes you, you should tell her. It can only bring you closer.

>>18545173

girls dont tend to leave you if you are depressed, but they do tend to leave you if you don't do anything about the depression.

stop saying 'chad' when talking abotu your personal problems, it paints you as someone who is unwilling to see the truth and instead will only accept a narrow 4chan alternative where almost every outcome is a dunce of a woman goes off to have sex with a guy who just flashes her his cock.

>how do you accept your self

acceptance is not a multi step process. there are things that can be done to smoot hthat along, but at the end of the day its literally just accepting you as who you are. if you had to do other things than it wouldn't be acceptance, it would be change.

>how do you not be co-dependent

mostly by allowing your self to have fun when single. a lot of men have it in their minds that they are not allowed to do anything unless they are dating, and what little they are allowed to do involves their friends.

go see a movie by your self if you so choose. takle your self out to dinner.

>>18545173
Never be honest about your true feelings.

>>18545173
Absolutely she would do just that. I've made this mistake three times. Keep it to yourself, dude. Vent here, but keep it from your woman. This is just a sad reality.

>>18545210
>>18545215
All of these women saying the losing respect thing is a meme. Lmao. Keep in mind these are complete uggos. If your gf is at least mildly attractive (i.e. has the opportunity to do better at any given time), then yes, she absolutely will leave you the second you open your mouth. Or at the very least she will begin the process (which may take a year or two, which is also where these women here probably are, just in denial of it).

It's real tough but we as men just don't get that. We don't get support for some reason. I don't know why, but that's apparently just the way things are so you've got to work around it for the sake of your own survival.

>>18545389
I feel genuinely sorry for you, anon. It must be terrible to be this jaded. Hopefully you'll be able to meet someone special who will change your mind.

I remember having a pretty wild panic attack at a bar on my 4th date with my current gf. Crying and everything. I told her when we got back to her apartment all about my depression and fears, just opened up about everything. She took it all and it didn't even affect her. She didn't run away from me because of that, and we're still together now happier than ever.I'm not saying that that's gonna happen with your gf, but it is likely to happen if she really loves you

>>18545397
You don't feel sorry for me, you feel sorry for the state of the world.

>>18545401
The great escape takes time.

>>18545401
>>18545403
Yeah what makes you think she's not just keeping you around for a few extra months to use you for something.

If it's not material in nature then obviously you're good looking enough to the point where she feels you boost her social status and can get her into the arms of some other good looking, more financially established guy. Just in a matter of time.

>>18545408
I mean yea I guess I'll never know for sure what's going to happen. We have great communication, we have very similar values and goals for the future. I think there's a pretty good foundation set up with us. I'm in a good situation right now and I'm optimistic about the future. Anything could happen, but I'm going to enjoy what I have while I can

>>18545452
You don't sound too worried about keeping "what you have".

>>18545466
I didn't mean to make that sound as if I own her or anything, or that our relationship is based off of physical attractiveness alone. We are away from each other most of the time, and our relationship does rely on great communication and a mental connection.Neither of us is controlling or possessive of the other, we let each other live our own lives when we're away from each other. We recognize that the other has their own interests and there's no limiting of that at all. There's trust and respect

>>18545173
If you have that little support from her, you picked wrong.

And if you cant trust her with knowing all of you, you picked wrong.

>>18545493
That's the opposite of what I said. Get some better reading comprehension.

>>18545659
Why don't you tell me what you meant then?

>>18545674
It's 100% clear if you have basic reading skills.

>>18545682
Alrighty then

>>18545173
I don't. Sure, I'll tell them things I don't tell anyone else, but I never ever ever talk about mental problems or even weird fetishes. I told the first person I dated I was depressed and suicidal. I learned the hard way that it's best to not open up.

>>18545389
>It's real tough but we as men just don't get that. We don't get support for some reason. I don't know why, but that's apparently just the way things are
it's because you guys are the protectors. you guys are the builders the providers the defenders. you guys ARE THE SUPPORT. and how can the support be the support if the support needs supported? <- that's not actively the conscious thought process and i don't think this one can be written off as hormones either and regardless it's a more simplistic load of horseshit than helen keller but whatever is responsible for...idk call it "evolutionary instinct" i guess, whatever's responsible for that is what drives this one. anyway. typically it's not the revelation itself that does you in, it's when the dynamic between you ends up really shifting afterward as a result that the relationship becomes kill. a support can't both be the support and need the support. cancels out. it can be it and need some consideration because it's under strain and has limits like anything else. just mind whatever balance you've already got set. shitty indirect metaphor that speaks to the base instincts thing: good window is good. does windowy things. fresh air when opened. it needing to be closed if raining outside is in no way unreasonable. it needing to always be closed from now on no matter the weather makes good window git considerably less good even though it still lets in light and seals the house against burglary and lets you view the outside without having to get any of it on you and stuff. making your heavy shit known and expecting support when you need it aren't out of the question as long as you can keep steady upon receipt. if you let yourself drown in the relief and stay crumbled you're fucked; if it enables you to keep on keepin on then aww yiss great success because you've got support right when you most needed it, she feels all useful and valued and shit, bond between you strengthens, etc etc you get the picture

>>18546236
The problem is that the exceptional circumstance you're speaking of has become negligible in the real world.

The SECOND, the literal second you tell her you actually need her help, in any measure whatsoever, it's done. This has been my experience. Even meeting girls who I'm sure were so far from the norm as to constitute some sort of potential exception to this rule, it still happened like clockwork.

Also I don't know why you took multiple sentences to explain something which is so obvious it should have gone without saying (the evolutionary instinct driving or underlying this sentiment/dynamic).

The problem is that women are exceptionally weak. Right now at least. To the point where men observe it and say "this is bordering on absurdity, this is just pure self-indulgence".

And then this self-indulgence gets mirrored when men point it out and women immediately pick it up as an excuse to deny their self-indulgence and dump the blame on men. Making what was already absurd doubly absurd.

Well it is pretty easy OP.
Women love men who are open to them and don't have secrets.
And your secret is is nothing you should hide.

Good luck man

>>18545173
>she would lose respect for me as a man
You're not wrong.

Women want to be fair and equal on the surface, but their pussy disagrees.

>>18547467
the opposite is true

File: 2db8da22-a09d-4f3f-9ed5-4bc87d3f05a3.jpg (90KB, 900x496px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 900x496px

Wow, it's almost like all the people saying their girlfriend flaked immediately have shitty personalities in general.
Weird.
Anyway OP, if she's not a total fuckface she'll support you.
This is not the place to ask for this kind of advice, because it's full of theredpill and mgtow rejects who are terrified of women.

>>18545173
op, don't, my story ended in the shitter mostly because of that >>18547481

Women will support you in your issues as long as you're taking steps to fix them and not just wallowing in it or letting it make you a weak or negative person.

>>18547483

I had been away from 4chan long enough to forget what mgtow had meant, until you mentioned it.

God, the fedorable shit that comes out of 4chan...

Anyway OP, either hide it under your body or tell her now and see what happens.

>>18545173

Wait until she opens up to you first, that way you know she trusts you with her emotions, so it's a safe bet you can do it to her.

>>18546278
>
there's been a marked upward trend in people regarding relationships as disposable and each other as easily replaceable. heart of the problem, that

>
the more new a relationship is and/or shittier the communication and/or disparate the worldviews, the less you can rely on the circumstance i spoke of to hold true. even then it's still nowhere near foolproof. just the typical mechanics you can expect to see behind a working model and how to navigate the relevant make or break line. without stability and compatibility well established you've not yet got a working model and if you have then keep it working by ensuring you've propped that metaphorical window open again after the rain passes. too high a risk factor in leaving it to open itself or be opened; may as well consider it welded shut

>
because autism. one man's obvious is another man's well i'll be damned. ...e.g. having to assume a certain amount of mileage already in the relationship wasn't made explicit because i figured it obvious. excluded a superfluous detail or neglected to mention a key point?
>>whynotboth.jpg
also i write like a sped
tl;dr autism
or, if i was supposed to take the bait and play the game:
>for some reason. I don't know why, but that's apparently
>something which is so obvious it should have gone without saying
your bantz are shite m8
>7/10 funny for preemptively btfo by your own post if same anon though
tl;dr still autism

>
putting it kindly. we're exceptionally shameless batshit retarded right now. men thinking us absurd and self-indulgent and us getting buttmad and calling them insensitive for it is nothing new. the degree to which it's all been pushed now is just insane though. pretty damn sure this isn't even our final form
>
it really is a mess. you in the trying to fix it camp or the sit back and watch it all burn camp?