Guy I was seeing for 8 months finally told me that he has met

I've never in my life had a FWB, and I associate that with an underclass culture of depravity, instability, insincerity, and decay.

So, yeah, it's some low tier shit. The kind of people who are into that have a different mindset altogether from the people that don't.

It sounds like in your case, he's just making some excuses to have his cake and eat it to. It's the kind of shit you can expect when dealing with this class of people.

He's bullshitting you, OP. It's the easy way to kill the relationship he has with you and justify it to the new girl. If she's chill with him having fwb prior to her it will be really easy to explain you away as a fuck buddy with delusions of a relationship if you kick up shit when he officially leaves. Sounds like he's trying to make you feel bad for making a relationship out of a mutual sex thing, but it's just a way of making it easier for him if you accept that line of logic because you'll just back off.

Honestly, be happy he's ducking out of your life right now and exposing himself for the bitchmade piece of shit he is.

If it started as fwb then i can see how it's weird for him. If there's no connection from his side then yeah he's not wrong if he doesn't want a relationship

>>18541961
Look at it this way. You're nothing but a FWB because you allowed yourself to be that. It's YOU who denigrated yourself to that position, not him. He just accepted you as nothing more than his FWB.

So, he has no obligation to elevate you to any other status, and he damn sure has no obligation to make you his girlfriend, when you're some chick who will fuck a guy without even being committed to him.

>>18541961
>his excuse for not making our relationship exclusive
He doesn't need an excuse. He doesn't owe you anything. That's the nature of the "relationship" you chose to have with him.

>>18542004
>>18542008

>started off as fwb

I see, this completely invalidates any progression the relationship ever makes.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

OP here. True, I did agree on just being fwb but around the 3rd month we were already talking about our feelings and such, we met eachothers families and we never talked to anybody else in that way, I guess those things dont really matter but yeah he said he eas just confused on what our relationship was but he still wants me in his life, and I'm not sure I can be a friend even though I care about him

>>18542018
I'm assuming you're OP. Don't delude yourself. Progress isn't unilateral. Just because he smiled and snuggled with you and bought you a hot cocoa one time doesn't mean he wants to marry you.

If he says he doesn't want to be with you, he doesn't want to be with you. Maybe he thinks you're gross because he had an epiphany about the kind of women that fuck around without a commitment. Good for him. Whatever. The point is, you have no recourse. He owes you nothing.

You probably haven't even met each other's family. Probably not even a real part of each other's lives, right? Do you go to church on Sunday together? Come on. He probably upgraded to someone better and wants to let you go easy instead of some big blowout..

>>18542031
Nah I'm OP. And no that's the thing that kept me having some hope, we went out on so many dates that did not even end up with us having sex and we let a lot of people know of our relationship. But yeah, its whatever now. He was my first btw so its not like I'm some slag

>>18542043
Why the hell would you agree to lose your virginity to some guy who won't even make a commitment with you? You should have more self-respect

He's got you on the back burner now because he probably thinks you're a sure thing. A good plan B to fall back on if his more ambitious project doesn't pan out.

>>18541997
Thanks for your input. I knew it was too good to be true and I'm glad it didn't last too long enough that I'd actually fall in love with him. Still sucks though..

>>18542008

Not OP, I'm this guy.

>>18541997
>>18542018

I agree that OP's SO doesn't owe her anything, but nobody owes anybody anything in a relationships outside of marriage. They're for mutual benefit and once that benefit stops being mutual then that's more than enough reason to break it off. I don't agree that this is just the case for relationships that start as fwb though (like you stated). My current SO started off as fwb while cheating (fucked up, I know) but we've been together now longer than most marriages have lasted and have our shit together far better than relationships that started "properly". Just because they started as fwb doesn't mean he didn't genuinely give her the impression and honest dialogue that he saw this as a "proper" relationship and that they'd progressed from fwb, etc.

>>18542048
I really don't know, he was more of an acquaintance before being a fwb and I just wanted to get it over with but I guess I didn't realize what I got myself into . You live and learnnn

>>18542053
> nobody owes anybody anything in a relationships outside of marriage.

that's incorrect. In a committed relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend, there are basic foundations that are understood by the nature of the relationship and which can be further defined as needed.

It's like any relationship. Say, you have a business relationship with your <resource> dealer. You have nothing in writing, but you expect to get quality product equivalent to your money paid, right? You owe each other a certain degree of honesty.

Similarly, in a BF.GF relationship there are understandings there. You owe each other fidelity, loyalty, and monogamy unless otherwise explicitly defined.

And I agree that just because it started FWB doesn't mean it can't progress, but my point is it has to be a bilateral progression, not just one party deciding for both that they both are suddenly committed. It's like one person in a bf/gf relationship deciding they would be getting married, and deciding that for both of them.

My point is it takes two, and if he's not down, it doesn't matter if she wants it really badly.

>>18541961
> I'm pretty sure many relationships has started as fwb and they've lasted

No they haven't.

I've seen plenty of people get hurt because they think it's going to be their back door to sneak into a relationship. I've never seen it work out in the long run.

That's because generally, if both people wanted to be in a committed relationship, they would be, and wouldn't be fucking with no commitment.

I hate this fantasy mentality that just because you "start off right" as in, get to know them more before fucking, then whoop dee doo the relationship is a success and it will last a life time !!!
There is no guarantee that it will just because of that.

>>18542065

I'll concede that a functional relationship does require cooperation and mutual honesty/respect/etc. I'll also concede that fwb does not lend itself to the nurturing of those types of attitudes amongst the participants, but 8 months is a long time and from first hand experience I just feel uncomfortable telling OP she put herself here. We don't know what kind of progress their relationship made, whether or not it was genuinely both of them or unilateral may have been totally without her knowledge. Without knowing if the guy gave her the reassurance that this relationship was no longer casual we can't tell if OP is just naive or her SO was just leading her on like an asshole.

>>18542070
>>18542053

>no they havent
>literally a guy in the thread that says yes they have
>whotobelieve.jpg

>>18542087
I think it's pretty obvious that her SO is leading her on like an asshole. However, that doesn't just suddenly make her a victim. She's her own person capable of making her own decisions, one of which was losing her virginity to someone outside of any kind of framework of a commitment.

>>18542087
Well like I said, we were already admitting feelings to one another by the 3rd month, and he was already introducing me to his family at that time, and then I showed him to mine as well. He did lead me on, he was always with "I feel like your so perfect for me" and I should just add that one other thing he said on why he wasn't sure was because I looked "younger" than my age (I'm 20) and he's 22, and he really cares what other people think and he even said he didn't want to look like some old guy dating a high school looking girl..... Probably more bs by him but yeah.

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>>18542097

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>>18541961
Sounds like you are his back up girl to fuck. But i am afraid you will never be his back up wife, or even girlfriend.

Maximally mistress.

>>18542057
>get it over with

Do kids today really buy into that shit? What a load of garbage. Virginity due to purposeful celibacy is tremendously valuable to anyone with any sense and discernment. It is the number one indicator of a successful and lasting marriage. The fewer sexual partners the couple has, they are significantly more likely to stay together longer.

It's extremely valuable and shows a lot of self-respect. It's a treasure, not something to get rid off. I honestly think the meme about that it's something to get rid of or "get over with" is something guys made up to talk teenage girls into giving it up for literally nothing.

>>18542101

If you stick by your first statement, the one that I disagreed with, that "he doesn't owe her anything because she started off as fwb", then what you said in the previous post makes no sense. We both agree that relationships can become solid after fwb. If that happens, she isn't exactly at fault for being upset when she's led on. I don't see her complaining about losing her virginity to the guy, more upset she got bullshitted by a guy she thought was legitimately solid after their casual phase was over.

>>18542112

Yeah, thought so. Your relationship kind of sounds like how mine started (except I cheated on my then SO to be with (you) and ended up leaving my then SO to be with (you). My (you) knew about my relationship but didn't care. We were fwb when I broke it off with my then SO for a while and then we became solid. Been together for coming up to 9 years. You definitely hit a stage that seemed like he was leading you on. He knew you weren't casual and he was acting like he knew it too. Probably thought you'd break it off if he didn't give you something proper to chew on.

>highschool girl

Yeah, no. If you're on any social networking site and/or not a total shut in people will be able to find out your age or it will become apparent through simple conversation one way or another. The guy you were with is legitimately an asshole.

>>18542139
OP here. And yeah we can agree he is an asshole but I just wished I wasn't so comfortable for a whole 8 months, as in I didnt expect much progress or rush anything and I was just enjoying the moment, thinking that we were alright

>>18542157

Relationships are rarely the right fit the first time. You're going to have some that work and some that don't, and some that hurt more than others. The important thing is to not dwell on one that didn't work for too long, keep moving forward and explore your options.

>>18542177
Yeah, its been a week since it happened and he's still reaching out to me to build some sort of friendship which I want but I don't think itd be good for me
But yeah thanks for all the replies and everyone else.

>>18541961
Welcome too being a man

Classic case of share the Chad effect
You are his side bitch even if particularly stable one, and hes just coasting along and you are fine because you get your turn on him