How to cope with loneliness? I'm 27 and married woth a

show your husband this post and if he really cares about you, he will be willing to change to make both of you happy. give your kid some leeway but don't go overboard and if it makes it any better keep them from seeing their grandma so much. a vacation someone could be nice to start all of this

>>18540505
Maybe talk to your husband about dedicating some time to the woman he fucked and married.

>>18540523
I can't travel or go on vacation this far along in pregnancy, I'm suppose to be on bed rest because of complications but I can't really do that because I have to work all the time to support us and do everything for the kids. My oldest sees her grandma pretty much every day and if I try to say anything everyone just gets really mad at me. Her grandma is always buying her stuff, like she's spent about 2grand on her just in the bast month. It's just teaching my daughter to be really materialistic and entitled, like if you don't do or give her exactly what she wants when she wants it she acts out and gets really disrespectful, and she'll "tell grandma" that she didn't get her way. It's just really hard I worry about her future with the way she acts, it's causing her to have a lot of trouble at school too. I love her so much I just want what's best for her and for her be able to except that in life you can't always have your way and that you have to fallow rules not just do what you want all the time. I'm just worried for her. My husbands no help at all, if I showed him this he would just get mad at me and shut down. It would only make things worse. The few times I've tried telling him how I feel he just got even more cold and won't talk to me. It's like he hates me. The only time he talks to me at all or even kind of bes nice is when he wants me to give him head or stuff like that, and even then as soon as it's over he goes right back on the computer and back to ignoring me.

>>18540534
That hasn't worked tho, he just gets angry and then talks to me even less. He has headphones on all the time and just dismisses anything I try to talk to him about.

Well, if you want, I'll make you feel less lonely~

>>18540628
How so? I've tried making a couple of friends on line before. I wind up not having enough free time to stay in contact through email and stuff a lot. Or the one guy I talked to tried to make it a romantic thing which isn't wright since I'm married.

>>18540505
So the next time your kid is mean to you, slap the fuck out of him. Then take away the shit he loves.

Then tell your husband to get off the computer or you'll divorce him and take his PC when your split.

Jesus H. Christ, learn to stick up for yourself.

>>18540641
This is stupid advice. If I hit my kid, for one it's wrong and I'd never do that, for two she would tell on me for hitting her and I'd probably wind up reported to cps or some crap. I can't even take away her tablet without her telling on me to her grandmother who then yells at and belittles me. And if I told my husband that he probably would just be like "fine fucking leave then" I don't want to be a divorced single mom.

>>18540636
Tsk, well, if that's how you feel~

congratulations about finding a shitty husband, you probably deserve him, after all it was your choice to go with this lad and fall for his spiel.

how you cope? well if you are lonely surround yourself with likely minded people. use soft force to get your husband to pay attention to his children by leaving him alone with them from time to time. Do what you can to enjoy your life.

Sounds hard? well yes, I have no pitty with people making bad decisions. You can now only do damage control, a divorce would probably be difficult and bad for the children in any way. Your best bet is to get a little light into the dark and see, that once your children are 18+ they will rarely still be a part of your life so you can live your own life again and nothing you are suffering from is final.

>>18540649
I wasn't trying to be mean or anything. I'm sorry

>>18540648
Okay. Keep being a miserable, disrespected, underappreciated married mother, with a kid that doesn't respect her.

>>18540648
He probably meant like disciplining your child, not full on abuse. That's what you should do to children if you don't want them turning out like spoiled brats. So have you tried giving him a taste of his own medicine?

>>18540650
He wasn't like this when we got married, he used to be really motivated and we did stuff together all the time.

Not sure how you find like minded people.

I do leave the kids with him while I'm at work. He sends our oldest over to his moms and then puts our toddler in a play pen and ignores her. Like literally I have to come home on brakes to make sure her diaper gets changed and she gets feed and stuff.

I get what you mean, having another child now was a bad choice. Well it was an accident more then a choice and I know I will love her more then anything but with things being so rocky it's not a good time for another child. I wish I had known things were going to change like this. I got married because I wanted a partner and a family and now it seems like my husband dosen't want that same thing at all.

>>18540651
he just wanted to offer you his D, don't mind him.

If you don't have time, you are still in a "make everyone happy" mindset, you can't stop doing that.
If what your mother in law is doing to your kid is against your believe, than you don't allow it outside of their place, after all you are the one carrying the consequences and you can show her what her education did to her son, maybe send her a video of how he doesnt care about his children.

Also you are not the only one responsible for the children, if your husband is at home and doesnt watch your children and somethign happens, he will get the lesson, not you, he will look bad in front of all other people that you tell about it, not you.

And if your daughter is behaving badly, that is not your fault in the first place, her character is already developed, sorry that she doesnt have a nice character, but shit like that happens

>>18540648
You don't have to actually slap her. But be a fucking parent. Put your daughter in her place.

And when your mother in law says something, tell her that she can fuck right off, because YOU are the fucking parent, and if she doesn't like that, she doesn't have to see your kids.

And for the record, if you spank your kid one fucking time, even if she goes to CPS, they aren't going to do shit unless you're actually abusing her.

>>18540661
Wait do you guys have any sort of sex or at least little pecks on the cheek from time to time?

>>18540661
If only there were some way to leave your unhappy marriage.... too bad divorce doesn't exist.

>>18540505
Be my gf :)

>>18540648
>I can't even take away her tablet
so you are your mother in laws bitch? bend over for her, spread wide?
you have to make it clear to your kid, that her grandmothers benevolence is not important, you are the one in charge, and if her grandmother gifts her a tablet at 8, which on its own is already way to early (10-12 is the minimum advice professionals give), than you have the power to hold it back until you think its time for her to own a tablet. (to not risk a lawsuit I wouldnt sell the tablet, because you must treat the things, like gifts, that are your kids belongings in the best interest of the kid)

>>18540664
I have spanked her before, she stole from walmart because I wouldn't buy her something. I spanked her and made her go back up there and give the toy back to a check out lady.

I can't say that to my mother in law, it would cause a big fight and everyone would attach me over it. They all act like she dose so much to help us because she's constently spending tones of money on our oldest kid, but honestly it's not a help at all. It's just making things really hard and if I say anything I get called a stupid ungrateful bitch.

But srsly,try to play games with him or maybe ask him to stop doing it idk..I'm a khv so I don't know about relationships,just don't cheat on him pls..have faith in Jesus Christ ...bye.

>>18540680
HOOOLY SHIT!! The grandmother would actually scold you for disciplining your child? Wtf is wrong with her? Does your husband feel the same way?

Be honest and tell him you're unhappy with your marriage. He has to put more effort into it.
I'm sorry you're in this position.

>>18540680
If people attack you for standing up for yourself, when someone is shitting on your lawn, they are shitty people, and you shouldn't be around them.

but not standing up for yoruself means you are a shitty mother to your children, who can't protect them from the evil influence of other people, making them grow up, feeling like they are someone special just to fall into a deep pit of desolation just like you right now. If you dont stand up for yoru believes and don't teach your kids to stand up for their believes, than the circle will contiue and your daughter will soem day be in the same fucked up situation that you are in right now.

>>18540680
Jesus Christo, I meant metaphorically tell her to fuck off. You don't have to use those exact words. I mean you can if you want, but just tell her to back off. And if she calls you a stupid ungrateful bitch, you respond with, "You're welcome to not be around me and my child until you learn to show me some respect."

And if "they" are giving you such shit, why do you care what "they" say?

I hate to break the news to you, but you're miserable with the way things are now. If you aren't willing to take action and stand up for yourself, how are they going to get better?

Do you want your life to be happy, or easy? Because it doesn't get to be both.

>>18540668
Yes I give him head like every day. It's the only time I feel like he still loves me at all.

>>18540679
It would be a shit storm if I said anything to my mom in law. She goes nuts and then the whole rest or her family attacks me over it. My husband constently sends our daughter with her when I work so I can't really do anything about it other then fight and that dosen't get anyone anywhere besides making me even more stressed and depressed. It's like I'm constently undermined and can't do anything about it. I just try to avoid my mom in law as much as I can and be the best mom I can be especially for my oldest. Like I help her with homework all the time and try to stay really involved with her schooling and stuff so she can do her best. I try really hard to still teach her other stuff to. I just have to be really carful about how I go about things because one wrong move brings down a storm on my head.

>>18540687
Yes that's exactly what she dose. And husband is just super uninvolved. Washes his hands of everything pretty much and leaves me to deal with all of it

>>18540505
So answer me this: What exactly is your husband contributing to your situation?

>>18540699
I can't keep her away, my husband gives her to his mom all the time regardless of what my wishes are. I avoid my mom in law as much as I can, no matter how nicely I try to tell her to back off she gets offended and flips out on me. His whole family treats me like shit and they are around all the time. My sticking up for myself dosen't get them to be any nicer, it just causes more tension and I can't take dealing with even more stress right now.

>>18540701
Oh my.... Girly, you realize how bad this sounds? Why do you love him? Seriously, tell me why you love him. I know how it feels to feel like you'll lose in every battle since no one is ever on your side but don't become a punching bag ok? You're obviously a great girl since you're doing so much hard work, why do you think that guy deserves you though? I'm not saying divorce him, I'm telling you to just ask yourself why you love him now and ask him if he respects/loves you. My mother was the same way. My dad was basically my mom and my dad. My dad did everything in the house, from cooking to repairing the house, to watching the baby to paying the bills. My mom was off doing whatever. You dont realize how much respect I have for my father for doing that. People like you are respectable, you don't deserve this ok? Do something now, dont wait it out. It'll get worse. Do something.

>>18540717
You need to start enforcing some boundries. Of course she just flips out on you, you just lay there and take it. Standing up for yourself isn't about getting them to be nice; it's about getting them to stop treating you like shit.

People treat you how you let them treat you.

>>18540710
He is home when I work and kind of watches the kids then, like he won't do anything for them but at least he's home and dosen't let them hurt themselves or anything. If I left I'd have to put them in daycare and work even more to pay for the daycare. I don't want my kids to grow up like that and not have a dad at all. He's already so uninvolved if we weren't together I don't think he'd even want to do visitation with them

>>18540721
I love him because he's the father to my children. I love what we used to have together and hope we get back one day. I just don't know how to make that happen. I know exactly what you mean about your dad doing everything. I literally change every diaper, cook every meal, wash every dish, do every load of laundry, work a lot, do a the house hold chores, I even still cut the yard even tho I'm about to pop with another baby. If I ask him to do stuff it just never gets done. I don't know how to make him understand I need help.

Why won't you leave for a while? It seems like your husband is just leeching, so pack enough stuff for a week and rent somewhere else. Send your kids to daycare (better than your grandma) and let your husband feel the void you left.
If he doesn't care, what's so bad about being a single mom?

>>18540725
But I've tried standing up for myself and they still treat me like shit, in fact they treated me even worse and it just causes an even bigger rift in my family. They take it out on my younger child and try to turn my older one against me. I'd rather just me be miserable then have my kids suffer or have my relationship with my oldest daughter be even more strained. I love her and work really hard to still be a good mom to her even if she likes grandma better because she always gets her way with her. I don't want her being pushed into picking sides between me and her grandma, and that's how they make it if I say anything and that's not fair to my child. I'd rather be unhappy then have things be made even worse for my kids

>>18540738
Yep this is pissing me off. You remind me so much of my dad. Thank you for working so hard, seriously you're awesome. Do you have anyone on your side at all? My dad always had me and all my brothers so he was happy. My mom would even order him to do stuff. Yell at him, got him in jail because he protected me. Me and my brothers all realized how awesome he was, we all had his back. You need someone to hold you up, you're gonna get broken down like this. You dont deserve that at all. You're husband obviously cant do that. So do you have anyone to just lean on?

>>18540744
No daycare is awful, I was in it all the time as a kid and it's a horrible way to grow up. Being a single mom puts your kids at a disadvantage. Like statistically they are more likely to have trouble with the law as adults, less likely to go to collage, less likely to have a good marriage themselves, more likely to be a teen patent, more likely to drop out of school. The list goes on and on. I don't want to risk that for my kids.

You should cheat on him ,and get BLACKED

>>18540738
You my dear, are making excuses. Shitty excuses.

And I get it. I did the single parent thing and it's scary. Scariest thing I've ever done. And I made up the same excuses as you. But ultimately, that's all they were. It was easier to stay and be miserable, then leave and change things, and feel exposed and vulnerable, and not sure how things are going to work out. But some times the only card you have to play is leaving.

I'm not telling you to pack up now and leave your husband. But you have to be willing to take that step if necessary. Look into stuff. Find out what resources would be available if you did separate from your husband. Because there's going to come a point in your future where the choice is stay and be miserable for the rest of your life, or take a risk.

You're going to have to light a fire under your husband's ass. If you aren't willing to do that, why would he be motivated to change? He literally gets everything he wants right now. And if he's as emotionally detached as you're describing, it's going to take a pretty big fire to get him to take action, if he takes it at all.

>>18540753
No I don't, I don't have anyone at all. My almost 2yo is like the sunshine of my life. When she smiles or runs up and hugs me it gives me the strength to keep going because she needs me. My big girl needs me to of corse but it's just so rewording to have that tiny little person show me love. She's really close with me. Holding her is what brings me the most happiness in life. I love my kids so much, being a mom is the best thing in my life and the most important thing I'll ever do. Knowing they need me is what keeps me going

>>18540771
Good job. Seriously, again cant say this enough, you're really awesome. Be proud of yourself that you're not some kind of fuckhead. You're the best kind of person ever. Know that. You do not deserve anything bad to happen to you. You're husband is a poor excuse for a man if he thinks video games are more important than this lovely woman and his children. Do you think you'd at least be able to make friends? You might not have time to hang out with friends because of the kids and all that but maybe you could invite them over to your house. Would that be a problem?

>>18540760
Oh, I guess a dad that basically ignores his kids is better....


And those numbers don't mean what you seem to think they mean. They exist because a LOT of single moms are BAD moms. They shouldn't have been parents to begin with, and likely would have fucked their kids up even if they did stay in a relationship. And being a single parent doesn't mean your kid is going to drop out of high school because she got knocked up at 16. It means the odds are greater. Odds that also diminish with an active, attentive parent.

>>18540767
I don't think it's anything to do with feeling exposed, I just don't want to do anything to hurt my kids. I don't want to risk there future just because I'm unhappy. I already feel like a single parent in that everything is on my shoulders. I don't see how actually being one and having to put my kids in some shity daycare all the time would be good for them, and I don't see how it would make me any happier. In fact I already work full time, the thought of having to work even more and be away from them even more would make me feel even worse.

>>18540795
No I think a lot of those numbers are that way because single parents have to work almost 24/7 to provide and not being around to raise your kids allows them more time and freedom to get into trouble. Your right a lot of single moms are just crapy parent to began with but even the ones who aren't still have a disadvantage.

>>18540793
Seriously thank you so much, that is such a nice thing to say. I have a hard time making friends, my husband dosen't want anyone coming over. And idk I have a hard time connecting with people, I always feel dumb and like I'm not good enough for anyone to want to be friends with. It's something I need to get over I know

>>18540803

Okay. It's your life. People have told you what your options are. If you don't want to take any of them, that's your choice. I'm certainly not going to fight for you if you aren't willing to. You sound like a nice woman. And you don't deserve to be treated like this. I hope the best for you.

>>18540823
Remember I'm not saying nice things just to be a kiss up, I just really admire people like you. Glad you feel happy bout that. So why do you feel like you don't deserve friends? You already seem like a very reliable and trustworthy person, id say you deserve friends. Do you just have trouble finding places where you can meet people or are you just awkward? And fuck your husband, seriously. He sounds like a kid not wanting anybody in his room. You're allowed to have friends over, its your house.

You seem to be a good mom, I respect that.

Talk to him.

>>18540505
>>18540564
And this is how divorce is made children. Read the post very carefully and maybe avoid treating your future wife as maid and nurse.
>>18538893

Dear op, first let me tell you i am sorry for your fate, but you got yourself alone into sich tight spot.

First, start asserting your dominance. I know this will sounds bad, but take sex as hostage in your marriage. Some boys are so fucking stupid they wont see any problem until they cant get their dick wet.

Secondly murder your mother in law. If not physically, then emotionally. It is YOUR kid. Spank the entitled princess, take all her stuff away and make a deal with her: until she starts behaving and having better grades/mood/behavior, she will get 0 toys.

And lastly, force your husband to do something. Anything will be good start. Some ladies here told me their trick is to leave house without telling husband where you go and stay few hours outside to make them jealous / worry about them. Worth a try.

>yes, you married too young and it is solely your fault that you let the situation escallate so far
Whip your husband ass and cut concats with his family. It is a war. War about your own life. Dont be afraid to use weapons.

Good luck with your marriage. You got yourself into this mess, only you can get out of it.

>>18540505
Your husband has a hobby but you don't?

OP, it sounds like your husband does nothing but game all day, is this correct?
Its possible that he might have a problem, a gaming addiction or at least a mix up of priorities. When did he start getting bad about this? Has his overall mood declined in with the increase in gaming and vice versa?
His overall apathy towards the other aspects of his life is definitely not healthy. Ask him if he is satisfied in life. I am by no means a shrink, but you might want to consider sending him to one if he's in a bad spot mentally.

>>18541383
I suggested this more then once, not to say he has a problem, I'm not trying to demean him. Just that counseling might help. He dosen't want anything to do with it. Things started going down hill about 2 or 3 years ago. That's when he stoped working to go to school. He just keep getting lazier And lazier tho, like he skips and fales classes all the time now. Went from him working on assignments for class on the computer to him just only gaming on it 24/7
>>18541146
So far I've been unable to force him to do anything despite my best efforts.
I'm trying to make plans to move further away from his family. I feel shity about this but I feel like it's really detrimental to my oldest daughter to be sopiled so much like she was almost held back at school this year because she's under this impression that she's a special princess and school work is like beneath her. Anything she dosen't consider fun she just refuses to do, from cleaning up big messes she makes to school work, to sports. Literally anything that is hard for her she just gives up on and refuses to do it. I feel like if that continues it will have a negative impact on her future. Also the way my in laws treat my younger child is really different and I'm worried it will make her feel bad now that she's getting older, like her big sister is better because she is treated so much more specially then she is. I don't want my younger kids being treated badly or feeling like they arnt as impotent.

>>18540845
Idk I'm just really weird and never know how to talk to people. I get nervous and feel like I sound stupid.

>>18541183
No him gaming from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed and dosen't do anything but that is not really a hobby, it's more like an addiction, or a way to avoid taking care of his responsibilities. I have lots of hobbies I like to do, I don't really have time to do any of them much anymore but I still would like to. I like hiking, sowing, painting, making things, like arts and crafts stuff like that.

>>18541924
Why do you think you're weird? From what you've told me you seem totally fine. Your awkwardness will only get worse if you don't start socializing. Trust me. I was the same way in highschool, didn't know how to talk, I used my awkwardness to basically become the class clown. I made friends because I was the cute shy funny guy. You could do it. You're already doing the impossible

Execute a 5 step plan
>Kill the fucker
>Get friends
>Rape some kid and blame it on some random bullshit
>Realise this is a troll
>Go get a fucking divorce ya dumb cunt

Try to find a local mom group or hangout and make friends, and take the kids out to do fun stuff but leave the oldest at home to give her a taste of her own medicine.

>>18541934
Does he stream to make money at least?