Today, I did something I was meaning to do for a long time and....I

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Today, I did something I was meaning to do for a long time and....I couldn't stop doing it. You could say that it even lit a passion within me. Nothing could pry me away from my work. It...made me happier than I have been in months. I'm so fucking stupid--procrastinating on shit I like to do! Whew. Losing sight of them and getting myself into thinking they're some sort of chore when I need them to be happy. I am just that much of a lazy asshole.

Main goal: to become work horse rather than lazy cat (to find it at least slightly natural to be doing something)

There's...obstacles to that. My hulking insecurity issues for one.
>swallow everything up and lose sight of goals
>finding ways to rationalize something positive into something negative because of past experiences
>"what if I really am that horrible? What if even my dreams are disgusting? What if I'm not good enough?"

Clearly, even if all my insecurities are true, I still want to do what I need to do for my happiness. So...how do you do that? And how do you accustom yourself to productivity? My natural state of being is utter chaos.