How do I get my dad's respect? All I ever wanted was to

>>18536873
The best you can do is pretend he's tough on you because he wants you to improve. And he drinks so much because he's celebrating your progress.

>>18536873

find out what he considers respectable and do that.

if you arent going to be specific than we literally can't be specific either.

that being said, some people are just assholes.

>>18536873
Stop thinking about what you're dad thinks of you. You're your own damn person. You don't think about what other random people think of you, why is your dad any more important?

>>18536873
Ask him. Using *exactly* those words you used here.

If he's a man worth respecting himself, he'll tell you. If you don't know how to do what he says, ask him to teach you. That's a father's job, teaching his son. And it doesn't matter whether the reason you got here was he could have been a better teacher or you could have been a better student. You both did the best you knew how. The path forward from here is learning how to actually talk to each other. (The essence of which is to think "what do I least want to say right now?" - and then say *that*, since that feeling of not wanting to say something is the guide to the feeling that most needs to be expressed.)

This will take real balls on both of your parts, since men aren't taught how to deal with emotion, and both of you will have to face how you feel like you failed each other. I'm gonna bet your dad feels just as much a failure as a father as you do as a son (though he may mask that by projecting his own disappointment in himself onto you). But honest talk gets easier, fast, the more you do it.

I think you'll also find you both love each other more than you know.

just keep striving and focusing on you and you'll get there

and you'll realize you did it for yourself and not him.