What is friendship to YOU, /adv/? I've been thinking about

Friends are people you enjoy spending time with and strive to do so.

>>18532201
>I've been clinically depressed for over a decade and have looong since given up on trying to do anything about it

Then this question is meaningless. Nothing we say will change how you feel about people because you need something to counter the chemical imbalance in your brain.

>>18532234
>Nothing we say will change how you feel
That wasn't the question.

>>18532201
Before I even read the second half that mentioned you were depressed I thought to myself "this dude sounds depressed as fuck". Go talk to someone, i mean a psychologist that's roughly your age. Psychologist because they're less likely to just throw drugs at you and send you on you way and the age thing should be obvious. You're going to have a hard time valuing friendships or people if you're depressed and don't actively try to sort it out. Furthermore, joining groups with common interest (any gaming discord ever), or irl groups (team sports) will help. Team sports imo are the best, exercise has a fuck tonne of benefits, one of which is improving mood. The team side of it will either make you friends or help you learn how to socialise with others if that's an area you need work in.

>>18532247
Psychologists nor psychiatrists can do anything about it. I'm not going to waste my time or money on it again.
Not even in an aggressive way. There just IS nothing that can be done about it. I think it's my stubbornness, and there is even EVEN less anyone can do about that.

Still, it's not my question. Just answer the question, what is friendship to you?

>>18532242

Then you need to try AskReddit. This board is for advice, not to poll people.

>>18532201
I believe that friendship is a spectrum that spans from people you spend time with occasionally and like them to people you engage in common interests with and have a bit of non-sexual emotional intimacy to even more intense friendships where you have a lot of emotional intimacy, trust, history and a bond that can't be broken by time a part. By the time someone I get this close to them, I see them as a spiritual "brother" or "sister". A friend is someone I'm willing to make a priority in my life that I wouldn't otherwise. If someone I consider a friend calls me at 3AM because they're going through some shit emotionally and they need to talk, I'm all ears. If a friend needs me to drive across town because their car broke down, and I can make it, I'm in. If a friend needs to beat someone down that did them or their family wrong, I'm in. I'm very careful about who I call "friend". It's not the default position of being somewhat familiar with me. I will not call a woman whom I've had a failed relationship with a friend. It's not something I take lightly at all, but I endeavor to be friendly to everyone I come across. It just takes a bit more than politeness and some banter to cross the gulf from "guy/girl I know" to "friend" with me.

Friendship is a strong bond with someone. My best online friend is incredibly important to me. Met that damn fool through 4chan around 2010 and we've been best pals since.
Friendship is the ability to be honest, brutally honest even, supportive when need be, stern and lecturing when need be while still understanding and accepting the ways of life your friend has chosen.
We value freedom in that sense above all else. My friend lives a very steady life, while I live in complete chaos with funky sleeping times, bad diet and so on, but there are times when I start to feel bad and my friend picks up on it. Often starts suggesting if its about time I steadied my sleeping times, even if its just for a while.
In a bunch of ways we take care of each other in many ways, listen to the rants and other venting, listen and share fun stories and other small things. Discuss things in great detail. We do many kinds of art projects together and its great fun, we improve, we learn and we share everything together. Sometimes there are days when we don't talk which is more than okay too. No matter how close you are to someone, you need your own space at times. A good friend understands that.

It's amazing how we can have such great conversations about music for example, despite the fact that we mostly listen to different kinds of music.
To put it short. Friendship is about caring, being honest and putting the other person before you while not allowing it to interfere with your life in a way that doesn't feel right.

Even so, I sometimes wish I got along with people irl. But I can't. I've tried, but it never works out. Nobody else out there has the patience to listen to my retarded, overly long way of talking. Both in text and speech. I cannot be concise and smart. I'm a piece of shit. But a good friend doesn't mind.

>>18532252
If that's your mindset than of course nothing will change because YOU convinced yourself of that. You're handicapping yourself. It takes work so go do it. Mental help professionals can, fuck you can help yourself if you go do some reading.

Friendship is being able to rely on people and loyalty. A small group of my friends I know will do pretty much anything within reason for me should I need it because they know I'll do it for them. We enjoy each others company but we also don't need to be in contact 24/7. I'm 25 though, you'll find your requirement for friends changes as you mature and you'll just stop caring about 80% of your "friends" you had before hand.

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>>18532219
>>18532278
>>18532279
>>18532287
Well, these posts answer my question and pretty much confirms with what I believe what friendships are supposed to mean. It also confirms that I was completely right about deleting my old "friends".
So, I actually feel a little bit better after reading these. In fact, I lied a little, there are still two people who I haven't had the courage to delete yet, but now I might want to do so.

The first is a guy I met on WoW back in 2007. We became the closest of friends and this lasted until maybe 2010-2012, somewhere there it became a habit to occasionally write something to each other while obviously none of us actually care anymore. For the last year or two he's really just been obnoxious, I get annoyed from seeing him online.

The second is... my ex. Similar situation at the start, we were just friends on WoW, became even closer though. By 2012 we actually met IRL and became a couple for one reason or another. Lasted 3 years, been my ex since.

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I am not one to talk too much on friendships. The amount of "friends" I have are very slim to none. It's a strange thing, because I know many, many people. I am a social person and I get a long with people great. Well the ones that I meat. I build relationships with people but for me, I am very scared to get close to them. This may be due to my previous experiences with abusive relationships, it may not. I keep people at the distance or closeness that I want them at.

It can be frustrating sometimes because if I do like that odd person that I meet and want more then a friendship, it's hard for me to understand how to get close to them or the boundaries within that.

If you are clinically depressed and you are convinced that it cannot be fixed you may have to find a friend/partner who understands and accepts that part of you. You also have to want to help yourself, because if you are clinically depressed and plan to unload that burden on a friend/partner, they are not going to want to take that burden on. Holding on to someone else's burdens, plus your own is extremely stressful. You would want to find support within a relationship, not a cure.

It's a far stretch to say this, but one of the best anti-depressants is physical activity. Maybe find someone who is always looking to better their mental and physical health. You may naturally take on those attributes. You never know what may happen.

Good luck my friend.

>>18532302
It can feel a bit hard and awkward, but getting rid of friends you don't get along with anymore is a good idea. I did a huge purge of some other 4chan people years ago that I didn't talk with anymore. I have people that I might talk to only like 3 times a year, but its okay it doesn't feel forced or irritating. I don't really call them friends, but I get along with them and there are times when they just randomly ask if I want to join in on some games they play.
If you feel even slightly uncomfortable around someone, online or offline and you have no desire to fix things with that person and or believe that you cannot fix it, just cut all contact. If they have the gull to get mad after that, then they can fuck off back into the eye of terror from which they came.
So yeah, I'd say you are on the right path.