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My girlfriend, who is 18, was beaten regularly by her parents.

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Thread replies: 19
Thread images: 2

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My girlfriend, who is 18, was beaten regularly by her parents. She is moving in with me extremely soon and I was wondering if anyone here who has suffered abuse can help me help her get herself together? I'm giving her as much love as humanly possible and cutting back on work to spend more time with her.
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>>18522097
Just be there for her and connect with her on an emotional level. Be open and gentle. Also try to get her to go to therapy. Physical abuse can really fuck a persons mind up. She might have anger problems in the future. Or lash out in violence because she doesn't know how to express her emotions. Giveing love is great but try to actually understand what she going through. By listening and watching her physical reaction to things. She also might be unaware of how much damage was done to her. Good luck mate.
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>>18522097
>getting with damaged goods.

She is going to cheat on your sorry senpai
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She can't quit abuse cold turkey man, you gotta ween her off of it... start with heavy weekly beatings and lower your force over time... she will learn to love her new daddy.
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>>18522457
^ this guy knows what he is talking about. Im 10 years deep into a wonderful marriage because i did the same.
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>>18522097
I am a survivor od parent abuse and rape. 6 years of the worst shit you can think of was done to me ... I recommend you just be there for her and try to get her to seek Real counseling .. I did not till shit turned serious and now I have c-ptsd anxiety depression rage issues.. She may not wanna do it but ask her and just be there for her... and keep trying the only way to get better or fix underlining issues is through pro help and loved one like you...
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>>18522097
>help me help her get herself together?
Sure thing pal let's see what you are tryi-
>I'm giving her as much love as humanly possible and cutting back on work to spend more time with her.
You're a fucking idiot.
You loving her won't magically fix her, you spending time with her won't fix her. Presuming it has impacted her, what she needs is therapy, professional therapy, not some well meaning dipshit who thinks that making her talk about it will fix things.

All you will do is suffocate her by being overbearing, you won't be listening to her or you will be asking the wrong questions.
If you want to help someone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, you get them professional help, nothing less.
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>>18522097
>I'm giving her as much love as humanly possible
you better start beating her up right now, or she'll flee to a more abusive guy
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>>18522097
No you fool you must beat her harder
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>>18522457
>>18522460
>>18523763
>>18523764
The only real answers here
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>>18522097
Be careful with her. My gf was abused by her neighbor as a young girl and it flipped a switch in her head. She became sexualy self-destructive. She is growing out of it but I'm always on the lookout for signs of regression.
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>>18523729

Couldn't have said it better.
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>>18522097
Don't get into a relationship with damaged goods, they're fucked and drag you down with them

t. damaged goods
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>>18522097

If she isn't willing to immediately see a therapist then you need to quit this relationship. Going to see a mental health professional is the only chance she has at having a healthy long term relationship with anyone.

You can't help her. You're not a mental health professional and even if you were it would be horrifically unethical for you to attempt to treat your girlfriend.

Therapist. Now. Its honestly the only hope you have of making this work. Showering her with validation and putting your life on hold to take her of hers will only tank your relationship in the long run.
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Girls who were abused as kids associate abuse with love.

She'll get bored with you and go to some Tyrone who beats her
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>>18522097
Heck, if you have extensive psychotherapeutic experience you might have a chance, Op.
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She may just see you as an escape hatch and not even like you.
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>>18524873
>>18523694
>>18523729
I probably should have been more clear sorry, I meant what I could do for her outisde the therapy sessions she's starting. Thank you all for the responses though.
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>>18525544

Her therapist might have some good advice on that topic then.
Thread posts: 19
Thread images: 2


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