I am dating a guy who I believe will be my first boyfriend and

>>18516700
What do you mean by sadist? Handcuffs is not sadism, that's just first time baby bdsm.

>>18516706
Well I know sadism is about inflicting pain, but I'm a bit of a prude and having a guy say that is kind of surprising...

>>18516700
What "weird kinks"?

>>18516742
What does he say that makes you think this? He says "I am a sadist?" Tell him to stop watching porn desu. I doubt a 19 year old boy knows what sadism is, he probably just wants to tie you up or something vanilla. Only do what you're comfortable with! I would be wary of any teenage boy that said he was a sadist. There are way better men out there

>>18516763
I'm going to try to get him to be more descriptive without trying to suggest interest. I would like to know what exactly his kinks are because yeah, he's probably getting this shit from porn. Aside from this stuff, he's so normal.

>>18516817
baby girl be straight up with him and tell him you want to know what he expects from you
the last thing you want is to be handcuffed to his bed and then suddenly he brings out the nipple clamps and a whip

>>18516700
Safe words
Red = stop immediately
Yellow = slow down

>>18516829
Okay. I'm just wondering if being kinky and into this stuff is mental / a red flag

>>18516700
I know this sounds corny but Nap salute all serious do you love him, or do you just like being in a relationship?

It's fine either way. But you should know why are you dating him to begin with.

>>18516980
I like him a lot

>>18517068
It can be a red flag, but get details first. Don't be shy, and don't worry about appearing interested. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with having sex yet, and I'd like to know more about the things you are interested in. You said you are kinky, but what does that mean to you?" Just don't ask in a sexy way and I think he'll get the picture that you're just feeling him out. Also remember, if he's getting his shit from porn, he has a skewed view of what women want. He might think you really want to be dominated in a kinky way because he sees women doing that online. Think about how YOU would like sex to be, and when you've figured that out, let him know if you still want to bang. Sexual incompatibility especially at a young age can be very dangerous, because the expectations and boundaries are unclear. Good luck!

Grab the handcuffs and cuff him to his own bed. Tell him this is how things are from now on: you're in charge and will tell him what his knks are and what turns him on. Also, no more porn for him or you'll punish him in ways that he'll never forget.

> I think that sexual sadism might indicate that someone has issues.

Most studies suggest the opposite is actually true, and that couples who share this desire and openly communicate about it are healthier in the long term.

And in that respect, it makes sense. Be open, communicate, and expect him to do the same. If he doesn't want to talk about his fetishes with his girlfriend, then he's not mature enough to act on them.

>>18516700
RED FLAGS RED FLAGS

You do NOT want a guy like this for your first boyfriend, let alone first time.

Trust me girl I made that mistake and it was a hellish 8 months before we had the worst break up of the century

>>18517111
Oh hell yeah

>>18517094
Thanks.
>>18517130
That makes sense.
>>18517153
But I would think that if this guy really liked me, he would be okay with plain missionary for the first few times...

>>18516763
I'm 19 and I'm into that type of shit. I love choking and making her scream. Yet I really want to beat her, like give her a black eye and a bloody nose and even go as far as strangling her with piano wire. I sometimes fantasize about rapeing and killing women, but only blonde, I can only be turned on by blondes. Is this normal? How do I stop these urges?

>>18516700
you're a normie too, get off my secret anime website

>>18517987
Stop trolling
>>18518011
I'm a fembot

>>18516700
It s probably fine. Go for it if youre into it

wait for marriage

Just make it clear that when the time comes you don't want those type of things. Communication is important, don't leave anything unsaid

A person's kinks cannot "tell you anything" about the person other than that they have those kinks. Don't fuck up your relationship with pseudo-psychology.

>>18516700
Basically tell him that when you are ready you want your first time to be how you envision it, and explain to him what that is. Also, if you two do continue to date, you will both start experimenting with what each other like, but always communicate with each other beforehand what you want to try and respect each others boundaries if someone doesn't like something.
For example, my ex wife and I were virgins before we got married, the day after our honeymoon, she wanted to try anal, I wasn't sure how I felt about that, and we did. It was amazing. Also, I dated a girl who wanted to try hair pulling and being a little rough during sex. It was new for both of us, and we both discovered we loved it. Just be respectful of each others boundaries and communicate well and sex will always be fun.

Sadism is a pretty serious claim, I doubt he really is, but if he is, then you should stay away from him. Sadism is a horrible thing, and most people with it are horrible people, who I genuinely feel bad for. It's not just interests, it's a physical thing, you don't change, it doesn't go away. I doubt it's legitimate sadism, maybe your using it as a hyperbole, or you don't know any other terms, but if your not, then you honestly shouldn't talk to him.

>>18518156
>fembot
>boyfriend
fuck off, newfaguette

>>18516968
yep. avoid like the plague.

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>>18516700
Not really, no. It's a pretty normal kink. Obviously it won't be happening for your first time, he'll slowly introduce you to his kinks if you're comfortable with it. I've dated a few sadists and people into other kinks, some pretty strange, but they were all normal people. What someone likes in bed doesn't always have to reflect how they are as a person.