This may be a long post so bear with me
My gf and I have been together for about 2 weeks. The first time we had sex (which was actually me losing my virginity) she came but I didn't due to nerves. The second time we had sex a few days ago she started crying and revealed her first boyfriend had raped her. I was supportive and made her feel loved as best I could.
Yesterday we tried having sex again, and midway through she stops me and says it was hurting. Though we tried a couple more times in different positions and even tried using lube, we gave up and watched a movie instead. She told me she felt sad that she's never gotten me off, and used the word 'inadequate'. It stuck with me because it shows she's really worried about her performance with me.
Apparently she's really happy with how I fuck her, but she feels bad that I've never orgasmed with her. What can we do? What can I do? The sudden tightness worried me, but her sadness was possibly worse. She told me she was scared I would get bored of her if she couldn't make me cum and find someone else who could. I reassured her but I could tell she was still upset. I really like her and want to make things work but I'm not sure what to do.
Any advice/past experience would be appreciated
>>18513754
it might be death grip, happens to a lot of guys, when they masturbate they grip their dick too hard and they get conditioned to it so that's the only way they can cum
google it, there are solutions for it, but the main gist is that you have to change the way you fap
>>18513818
Once I saw how hurt she was about not pleasuring me I decided to cut off porn + masturbation, hopefully that helps
But I don't know what to do about her sudden tightness and pain, any ideas?
>>18513865
well talk to her, tell her you are here for her and she can talk to you about the rape if/when she feels like it, tell her she can trust you etc, just be there for her
>>18513868
she has had other boyfriends in the past who she had sex with and this is the first time it happens, according to her.
I'm not sure what to think, could it be something I'm doing? I am pretty intense in bed but she said she enjoys it
It's becoming a bit of a clusterfuck, OP. Your gf has been raped, which in one way or another will always put some pressure on her mentally during sex. And now she's extra insecure about you not climaxing. Which as a result, prevents you from climaxing. The sudden tightness sounds like stress/not being able to relax.
So time to take 3 steps back and focus on the base of the problem. Make sure your gf feels comfortable about her rape issue. Make sure you support her mentally when she asks for it. Make her take the initiative so it doesn't become a constant reminder to her.
When you have that under control (and it sounds like you do a little, already) focus on having relaxed, pleasant, fun sex. Because loads of guys have problems cumming or keeping an erection the first time, and afterwards it only gets worse. The only solution? Not focussing on cumming so much. And telling her not to fuss about it (like she is now). Explore eachothers bodies, masturbate together, have fun having foreplay, etc. When you take the pressure off reaching an orgasm, it will come.
Mmh sex interdesting
Literally just find someone else, nigga.
Keep fucking her. You WILL loosen up to the point you actually come after a few sessions. This is totally due to your relative inexperience. You WILL relax after a few times.
>>18514590
no
>>18514604
it's not me I'm worried about, it's her sudden tightness and her abuse. I know eventually I'll cum but I'm worried that it suddenly started hurting her yesterday for no reason.