How do I combat sexism from my bf's family? So, bf's

sounds like you're marrying into money, so suck it up, buttercup, and enjoy that easy life while complaining about it.

>>18511925
Here's the thing. My bf's parents moved from a third world country, worked their asses off, and they are both nurses at really good hospitals with over 30 years seniority there. They're not super rich, but they have a lot of disposable income because they did things right.

Basically, I think they're the typical immigrant parents that just wants their kids to not have the struggles they had. Which is why I think they push that traditional role real hard.

I'm really not marrying into money, I really think they are setting up their daughters for failure.

Have you tried communicating with him about it?

>>18511947
His response is typically, "thats just the way they are." and "all the females in my family are spoiled"

I am pretty sure he already knows he can't change their opinion.

We've been together for quite a while and the idea of getting married and being involved with his family honestly turns my gut. The longer we've been together, the more "comfortable" they get with calling me out

>>18511969
don't marry into an Asian family if you aren't comfortable with Asian culture. Find a white guy.

Leave the guy; this will never be what you want it to be. Also, some therapy might be helpful. Good luck!

>>18512022
idk, our families are from the same country. I'm just a second gen american and he's a first gen american.

>>18512068
basically, my grandparents treated my parents the way his parents treat their kids. But my grandparents and parents took a total opposite approach with me, my siblings, and my cousins

>>18511913
You've already learned how to be well off. Keep complaining about problems 99% of the population consider benefits. Who in their right mind would ever complain about being expect to not WORK.

>>18512068
what country is that, OP?

>>18511913
Sorry but it's probably something you can never change. It's a dead set generational thing.

What matters is whether or not your boyfriend shares those views. If I was your boyfriend I would tell my parents to fuck off with that shit, if they cannot adjust and respect you then I would want nothing to do with them

>>18511913
>She has made comments like I am worthless, makes fun of me for being poor
Wait, but wouldn't that be your boyfriend's fault then according to their gender roles? Shouldn't they be pissed at him for not "providing" or whatever?

Would you really leave him over this? Isn't that sorta punishing him for someone else's views? What if he disagrees with them and would be willing to be estranged from them in order to stay with you?

>>18511969
If he can't change their opinions, don't expect to do it yourself.
You just do you. If you really love the guy then you will have to put up with it. Sure it might be shit at times, but over time their family will learn to accept it hopefully.
Like they say around here "they will get tired of being mad"

>>18512335
From what OP is saying, this seems to be the case. Again, you just have to put up with it. Of course it is not fair you have to go through this, but life isn't fair my friend. If your boyfriend is nice he will support you through it.

>>18512348
I just feel bad for the boyfriend if she does leave for it. Sure she doesn't deserve it. But on the other hand the guy probably doesn't want a girl who agrees with his parents views. Must he become lonely forever because of it?

>>18512271
>She has made comments like I am worthless, makes fun of me for being poor
>claims I don't take care of myself
>also spergs out when she wins at video games, refuses to discuss her hobbies with her
>rude to her literally because she came over and picked up a piece of wood
Yeah, I'm sure 99% of the population would consider those "benefits."

Do you just post the same canned response any time a woman says the word sexism?

>>18512351
This. This is why I strongly advice OP to just deal with it.

What ethnicity are they and what are you?

>>18512312
India

>>18512727
There's your fucking problem.

>>18512727
lmao don't get raped

>>18511939
>third world country
could it have something to do with islam femanon? please, surprise me.

>>18511913
Laugh at them but to their faces so they know you're a bitch and theyre unreasonable and yet still going to have to deal with you. Also dont put any shit on your bf, just continue to work the situation as long as youre exposed to it.

>>18511913
DO NOT criticize, argue or ridicule their way of life, either to them or to your boyfriend. Just make it clear to him that yours and his relationship is going to be different. And then live your lives, and if the others can't cope with that, screw 'em.

>>18512727
OP in the name of the lord and all that is holy, find yourself another man.

An Indian American and traditional Indian family just isn't compatible in your circumstances. Find another second generation Indian lad to be with, it will make things a lot easier. Marrying into this family is not going to meet your personal needs (as in who you are as a person) and will ultimately lead down a painful and depressing route.

I do wish you the best though, we need more women like you in the world with their heads screwed on and sensible.

>>18512727
Some cultures are better than others. This is one of those (literal) shitty cultures. I wouldn't listen much to a culture that shits in the street.

>>18512355
Shocking the wealthy complain about the poor. My comments were more about how the well off complain. You've nailed it. You'll be swimming in complaints and wallowing in poor service real soon....

>>18512727
Have you at least gotten him to pop in the loo yet or do you have a mock street in your house designated for that?

>>18512966
Op this guy is a faggot don't listen to him.
Next time they try any of this shit laugh at them. Laugh really fucking hard. Laugh until your eyes tear up with joy. Then explain the them the difference between filthy animals and civilized people. Then look to your bf and change what you were talking about instantly. Like what they think doesn't even matter. Because it doesn't. Side note of your bf gets mad at you for ridiculing fucking morons leave him. The heathens, autistic, and moronic need to be criticized and bullied properly until they learn or kill themselves. Some people are so fucking dense these things need to be spelled out for them. Gl OP don't be a pussy.

> also losing to a girl in vidya. You litterally have the biggest dick in that room. Congrats

>>18512727
>>18512790
>>18512820
>>18513152
>>18513401
That wasn't me. I'm op, literally just woke up.

My bf and I are jungle asians man. Pacific islanders.

>>18512335
>>18512348
>>18512351
I don't want to leave him for it at all. He doesn't share their views, but he has mad respect for his family and doesn't argue with them on these things.

I would think that it makes more sense for them to push my bf to support me, but he's the baby of the family. He literally had to go against his mom's wishes to go to college for what he wanted to do and work in a field he wants. We're looking into moving out together, but we don't want to do it until we're both done with school. Makes sense to me.

>>18513440
This. Assert dominance over those oh so delicate females and those ass-blasted pansy men. Show them you are not to be trifled with.

>>18513852
OK so I've been little harsh and snatky about your complaint so sorry. This is going to be an ongoing problem for you because they will not change. Now here is my advice and please take it with a pound of salt. Complaining about their blatant sexism is like standing in the rain in your best cloths without an umbrella and complaining that your cloths are being ruined. STOP COMPLAINING accept your reality and find positive ways to deal with them.

>>18513903
Yea, that's what I want to do. I initially had to complain because I had to explain to you guys what was going on. I've kept this in for a while. Bf and I have been together for several years, but it's only getting worse as time goes on and I think it is because his family may not want him to settle down with someone like me? I guess I don't need their approval, but I wouldn't want them to hate me either.

I was looking for ideas. I literally don't know what to do when I am around them other than look/feel uncomfortable. Idk if I should stand up for myself, or just not go to his family things (but then they don't like that either). I am just stumped. I have been praised for my go-getter, independent attitude by my family. I guess I am just hurt and kinda shocked that I'm being treated badly for it.

>>18513902
Guess this is one way to go. I could do that and probably walk away with dignity if it were with his sister or cousins.

But I just don't think I could disrespect any older people in his family like that.

>>18513937
I'd say just be yourself and stand your ground in the most polite way possible. Remember not all battles should be fought especially in your case. Most times it will be lose lose. Over time if you continue to be yourself while they may not embrace you as one of them they will begin to respect you for not buckling under their pressure. When I'm in no win situations like that I tend to mentally play my I don't give a Fuck game.

Example relative 1 says to relative 2 something obnoxious they both laugh. Be me smile at the laughter while mentally thinking I don't give two shit what either of these two fuck-tards say. That is why I smile because I picture the two fucktards going at it.

I also treat ppl with maximum respect even when I hate their guts.