Hi adv, i come to you for advice. I am 19 years old and am living

The reasons are relevant. You do come across as an edgelord.

My advice is do whatever, and then, when you're more mature, realize that family is important. You won't minimize bad rep by going no contact with every single family member. Just learn to let go of things, and focus on your own happiness, and your family will learn to adjust. Resentment will hold you back, no matter if you cut them out or not.

Move somewhere far and let the connection slowly and naturally BURN.
Don't answer their calls. "I was busy."
Don't answer their texts. "My phone died."
And so on and so on until they naturally assume you're busy and can't talk.

I have no clue about the rest.

Youre right, you sound like an edgelord. Why do you want to cut contact?

>>18509704
What they do? Not give you any ice cream after dinner?

I guess they are relevant to some degree. What i meant was that they are not relevant as to how i should proceed as i have made up my mind. I do appreciate you wanting to discuss my reasoning because i feel this is usually a good thing to do with any decision. However i do not want to talk about it in this thread, as i feel it would move away focus from my main goal which is practical advice and suggestions.
>>18509747
>>18509709

>>18509722
Something along these lines does seem good. Is there a way to lessen the chance of family members trying to reestablish contact? Actively making myself disliked is an option, and it has the tradeoff of risking my general reputation. Is there a way to do this with less of a tradeoff in reputation?

>>18509791
There are some resources that you could find useful here.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B2ILpxMxNOBzZGxpNmtQQzBfWlE

But seriously, you sound immature. Unless your family has hurt you somehow, indirectly or directly, keep in contact with them after you move out. You never know.

Otherwise, just don't tell them where your new residency is, or your phone number. Don't call them, or send them anything. Use aliases for social media. Or maybe move to a different city?

If you have had this thought for 5 years, how much of it do you have planned out? Why does your reputation matter so much? Are you afraid they'll say something harmful to the people of this city about you? Like reveal something that'll make it impossible to live? Again, I suggest that you move cities after college.

so ahmet was caught raping a girl
isn't this what brings honor to your family ?

And much as id like to pitch in, I don't really feel comfortable with all the secrecy. I'm not giving advice to someone just to find out they did some fucked up serial killer shit (i know you're not) But give the lads some context.

>>18509704
Get your own education, earn your own money, find your own place to live and you can do whatever you want.

I guess some context is called for. I have not done anything i need to hide, and they have not done anything illegal to me like beat me or abuse me sexually, as far as i can remember. I don't want to delve into it too much but they have always felt off, and ive never really been able to trust them or feel happy alongside them since i started school.
My family in general is extremely authoritative to the point where it is more towards power tripping and less of actually making sure everyone is able to be happy. Throughout my childhood i have been shamed and reduced to nothing more times than i can remember just for the slightest criticism, even when it is about the pettiest argument ever that noone really knows much about anyway since none of my family has gone through high level education. Everyone feels a massive need to prove themselves, and they will go to any extent to do it. Most of my family also feels threatened when someone states a differing opinion, since they associate shame with having the wrong opinion or some bullshit. Because of this i rarely state my opinion, and when i do it is only when i agree on subjects. (1/2)

There is some history of abuse some time ago but noone has been abused in my current family that i know of, luckily. The same goes for alcoholism.
Many people in my family(in the broader meaning, not my immidate one), have moderate mental issues, and some have commited suicide. I have some issues myself, but the only thing i can attribute to my childhood is an extremely low self-esteem, which is improving fortunately. I also suspect my anxiety problems to be partly due to all the shaming i experienced as a kid but im less sure there.

There are many different aspects of it all of course, and my view can not be considered objective. The bottom line is that I am not able to feel happy when i am with them, and from my understanding they are not going to change their ways even if i demand it since its all so deeply ingrained. If they are not going to change their ways in small areas they are not going to change their whole personality. There is of course more to it all but i really think its best if i just leave at this point. My option is starting anew with other people, who i know can be worse or just as bad. But from my understanding most people are not like my family at all. I really believe ill be happier if detach myself as much as possible, and focus on myself and those who i want to be with, willingly. This is the basic outline of my reasoning. Ill be better off with the average random person than with my family, who i honestly just want to be done with.
(2/2)

Again, i mostly need advice with the items i listed in my first post, and mainly item A. The reason that i seem to fear for my reputation is because i feel that this is the only area in which they can potentially hurt me if i take all precautions available. Not because i have done anything wrong, but because some members of my family get some real enjoyment out of talking badly about others.
I fear i might be complicating things by writing too much but i basically need to know how i can break contact and later decrease the risk of them trying to fix things without looking like too much of an asshole to everyone else.

Also thank you for all the input so far, i appreciate it.

Very spammy, but worthy of mention is also that privacy has always been and still is to this day, not free to any extent. The oppurtunities of talking about what i feel and being with who i want have been created through lies and evasion on my part, which has always made me feel slightly uneasy enjoying things thourougly. This is also the reason im so grateful for the internet in honor of todays events, but thats another thing entirely. My family does not stop asking follow up questions even if someone starts giving one word answers and signals them to stop, and if they still do not comply they are again met with shaming and disapprovement (if they are within the family). When i do move out i am certain that they will be very curious about my new life,but this is to be expected of any family i guess. I do fear that they will demand information to an extent that i am not comfortable with. Not sensitive information usually but just asking more questions than what is considered acceptable. If i dont comply anymore, id like to be able to limit my info to them in some way, so if someone has anything in that area i am also grateful.

(for top level comment) I have now given context further down as per requested >>18509704