advice

>>18509222
she was not a right choice obviously, take time to develop yourself, don't fuss with relationships

>>18509241

but what about ?
>first of all, was ist appropriate for her to break up over this ?

I think that it was not appropriate for her to break up with you just because you wanted some time alone. Everyone in a relationship should always be open into letting their significant other have time away to think. Now reaching at to her I highly do not recommend. She made her choice and you should not really be the one to crawl back to her.

>>18509293

i am introverted as fuck. i get tired around people. really tired.
before i met her i was so lonely. she made me the happiest person but she wanted to chat all day everyday and was upset when i went to dinner or to the movies with my only male friend for about 2-3 hours once a month.
i always tried to make her happy. i gifted her a golden necklace and pendant one month before she broke up. when she broke up she said i became cold and that im not interest in her anymore. but this just wasnt true. i distanced myself because of the smothering but i truly loved her.

ihow can someone who loves you, suddenly break up like that. she didnt even try to work it out. she discarded me. how can someone who claims to love you do such a thing. i kept thinking about this for the last 5 months and cand find no answer. i need a closure

i would contact her just for the closure. i dont know what to do to make the pain stop

>first of all, was ist appropriate for her to break up over this ?
I don't know the circumstances. Maybe you were not her type? I don't think it matters so much, because it just sounds like you need to get yourself a hobbie or develop yourself a bit more. Focus on your life goals and such. Maybe you are too introverted?

>tell her you want time to yourself
>then go out with other people
You don't see anything wrong with this? From her perspective (and from your post), it looks like you lied. She's 27, she's not going to waste her time with someone who acts like they're 18.

>>18509299

i wanted to talk with her about this
but she discarded me before we could

>>18509297
It seems like something outside of your relationship affected her and caused her to break up with you. If you really loved her and she really loved you then you both would have made it through this hurdle. Don't go back to her , this will only cause you greater pain my friend. As time passes by you'll look back and think about how silly you were. This is just one of the many relationships you'll have. Go out there and try new things. Enjoy life. Not everything revolves around her.

>>18509303
Like I said, she won't have the patience to deal with you if you're behaving like this. Wanting time alone wasn't the issue, it was the fact that you told her you wanted time alone and then went and spent time with other people. You lied and you blew her off.

>>18509331

one mistake after a one year relationship ?
i forgave so much and i get discarded so easily ?
i didnt even go with the guys. i stayed at home and she knew.

>>18509222
>> tell gf i need some days to myself
>> next day tell her i want to go to the movies with colleagues the day after (she was learning for a test though)

That's why

>>18509336
Maybe there was other bullshit that was stewing up and this was the last straw. Maybe the fact that you need to take several days away from your significant other made her realise that there wasn't really a future with you. I don't know, I'm not in her head.

>>18509344
>Maybe there was other bullshit that was stewing up and this was the last straw.

Yeah I hate when people tell a story and leave out important facts like what led up to this. Some people like to make their stories sound better in their favor.

>>18509347
Yeah, I'm guessing this isn't the first time something like this has happened. People don't just leave their significant other of a year over something like this.

And the fact that OP doesn't seem to realise that he fucked up by telling her he wanted to be alone and then made plans to go out with other people, and the fact that he made this thread asking us what he did wrong, makes me think he's just as clueless about every other time he's fucked up.

>>18509347

there was a lot of bullshit stewing up.
we argued about every 1-2 weeks because of her jealousy. one weird last seen online date and instant silenttreatment. i constantly had to prove that im not chatting with other girls.

i never chatted with other girls and i never met any other girls. the jealousy was unfounded. this is what caused me to distance myself. i tried hard to give her all the assurance and all the support i could. but bringing up anything she didnt like caused silent treatment.

i ended up not writing back after the last discard because i could no more. i was drained. i see my fault in what i wrote there. but i have to add that i did not go with my colleagues and we agreed that my gf and me spend some time together instead. also i did not tell her i want to spend time with guys i asked her if she was ok with that. the next day she blocked me and i could not talk about this incident anymore

>>18509354
>jealousy issues
>you're distancing yourself
>you're ignoring her
>you lie to her
And you're SERIOUSLY asking us if she was right in dumping you? How fucking dense are you?

>>18509356

HER jealousy
SHE gave ME the silent treatment.

>>18509359
You ARE dense, aren't you?

>HER jealousy
So? There were still jealousy issues

>SHE gave ME the silent treatment.
Go back to >>18509354 and read the first sentence in the last paragraph.

I honestly can't see how you think you're a victim here.

>>18509359
>>you're ignoring her

also i wasnt ignoring her
she blocked me everywhere

>>18509364

so the jealousy was my fault ?

>>18509371
I don't know, clearly you've posted things and held back details to make yourself look as good as possible while making her out to be the bad guy, so I really couldn't make an objective judgment.

What I do know is that you're an idiot for being surprised that your relationship ended and for asking us whether it was okay for her to end it.

>>18509222
>first of all, was ist appropriate for her to break up over this ?

Yes. She apparently wants a boyfriend who is available more. It's perfectly appropriate for her to break up with you and look for the person she wants.

>i really miss her. should i reach out to her ?

I probably would have done that in the first two months when she was writing stuff about missing you. At this point, it looks like she's moved on, plus what has been resolved about why she broke up with you in the first place?

>>18509375

i was working full time at the time and was writing my master thesis. additionally i tried to see her 2-3 times during workdays and one day on weekends. since i finished my master thesis i now would've had more time for her.

thats what has changed

>>18509378
Not him, but there were obviously other issues in the relationship. Why would she get back with you if the only thing that's changed is that you can see her more now?

And why SHOULD she get back with you at all? You had your chance and your relationship failed. Chances are it's not going to work a second time. Why would she waste time giving it another go?