Going out with a girl out my league.. Help? So i matched with

you could stop rating ppl like a 14y old for starters

its only a date, you havent even seen her irl yet

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>>18509094
Good job, OP. You should not worry, because if she's interested in you, it means you are not so bad as you think yourself to be. It's natural to feel anxious if she's a qt but that happens to so many guys, even those you consider natural slayers.

Keep it light and casual as long as you can, and only when you feel comfortable (not pressured into wanting to get laid by others or yourself) you express that you want into relationship. Easiest way to fuck everything up is to make her think it's all about you wanting to fuck her. Don't be like that. Take time to build memories, try to hang out with her. Pick crowded public places/events for first dates and for next dates, pick less crowded places etc.

Just don't get into this fucking mindset that you are not good enough for her. You da man, OP! Listen to "Eye of the Tiger" or some shit and celebrate your success!

>>18509094
well good luck dude. it seems like you might actually have found a nice, decent girl who also happens to be hot.

overcome your inner betaness in the face of her hotness by focusing on her more human traits and engage the conversation with that.

relax, and enjoy!

ps: post progress update so others can learn from your experience too.

>>18509094
it sounds like she already likes you bro.. see if it flows when you meet in person.
as a straight girl.. we don't really care what you look like. think more sensory. smell good. sound good. right kind of touching etc

>>18509094
Newsflash, she is not "out of your league" if any of those things you listed are true. That phrase is imaginary, and you should not categorize girls based on it.

That being said, I hope everything goes well for you since it looks like she's relatively interested in you. You should let that boost your confidence in your ability to attract women. You're not as bad as you think, and the opinion of one woman is not shared by all women.

Cheers anon, and good luck.

>>18509109
>>18509117

How do i PHYSICALLY relax though? All i want to do is enjoy myself and laugh with her like i can by myself, but around girls i have to fake it all. I want to be genuine but i tense up to much.

>>18509124
try some breathing exercises to relax, you can find details online or youtube I expect. Practice for maybe 15-20 minutes a few times a day until you're comfortable with it. it really is foolproof.

humour is a great defuser of tension too, remember so remember to smile and enjoy a joke.

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>>18509124
It's pretty difficult, I know.

You just have to accept that it's OK to feel anxious when you meet anybody at all that you don't know that well. Internet distorts this because there is no physical contact. I chat with shitload of anons everyday on chans, internet and whatever but in real life and even in real life I like to be social when I can, but inside I am actually quite self-conscious and anxious about what is appropriate, what is not, even if it doesn't show too much.

It gets easier when you accept that you are anxious. Just don't literally tell her "sorry I am shy" or "wow this is awkward" because it will ruin the entire mood. I mean you accept it in the way that you take it with a humor. It's OK to comment on weather if you first meet. It's OK to have a small talk about things that don't matter at first. You are just getting to know her.

Just get out there with an attitude of wanting to have fun, not to "advance the relationship between you two to next base". Just think about what you want to do or experience as you meet her. Also, girls are good at telling when they don't want to do something or refuse something, so trust them at that, don't try to guess in your head how she feels.

Seriously OP, no reason to be afraid. Just try to have fun and get to know her. Do what feels natural. Look up breathing exercises to calm yourself down before date.

>>18509134

It's so crazy how fast 'the real me' just flees from me when i'm nervous though, breathing doesn't really help much. It can for a short moment but the adrenaline overpowers everything, i feel it in my heart and in my stomach. One time i was so nervous about a date that i threw up a few hours before. It actually went pretty good but the second date was a disaster.

>>18509147
avoid trigger foods and drinks (alcohol, coffee, etc) and do more deep breathing then, perhaps go for a long walk beforehand to clear your head, listen to some subliminal tracks.

consider the other person as a normal human, who eats, pisses, farts and shits, and not the pedestalised object of your heart's desires, that ought to help.
you'll be fine.

Thanks for all the support so far. I'll try my best. Should i kiss? Some say to always kiss on the first date but i feel iffy about it. I want to make my intentions clear, but i don't want it to scare her off. I usually kiss on date 2, because i know for sure her interest is real.

>>18509172
Don't go for the kiss if you've just puked a couple of hours earlier, right? Just saying like.

if it looks like it's going that direction, then go for it. If not, then the second date will do fine. No point giving yourself additional stress. This girl is obviously interested , and that's a good sign so no point in rushing things either.

>>18509172
>I want to make my intentions clear,

Are your intentions showing her you're desperate and thirsty? What are your intentions? Good job ruining your imaginary date.

>>18509190

Just means i want to see her again, doesn't mean i'm desperate for pussy.

>>18509195
Why are you trying to claim someone within 15 minutes of meeting them?
>implying she'd even want to be kissed by an autismo

>>18509172
>>18509195
Hug her when you meet, kiss on the cheek when you leave.

I've done the literal french kiss thing on the first date some times but this only works when you are little bit drunk and go for it immediately without obsessing over it. I wouldn't recommend it or even try to go for it these days, because back then I was only looking to get laid.

>>18509202
bugger off, this is /adv/, not r9k. You haven't got much dating experience yourself, have you, if you think some people aren't liable to jump jump in the sack 15 minutes after meeting someone.

Not that I'm saying that is advisable, or what OP is after.

>>18509213
sorry i forgot his 10/10 was a Mexican cumdumpster whore

>>18509214
stop projecting and try to articulate your own deepest issues instead, anon, we're all here to help you in /adv/, lad.

...continued in the next episode...

>>18509147
You have to keep doing the breathing exercise every time you get nervous. You can't just do it for a few seconds and then stop. The idea of the breathing exercise is that there's a two way relationship between the part of the brain that causes stress and breathing. Stress causes irregular breathing and regular breathing can stop stress.

>>18509094
>>texts me good morning and good night every day

That's suspect

>>18509367
In isolation it's definitely not suspect. There would have to be more signs of clinginess. If op even cares about that.

>>18509094
Make yourself look as attractive as possible. Go on a jog today, good a good nights sleep and be refreshed. Shave and get a haircut. Whatever it takes to make you feel attractive. By feeling looking good you'll unconsciously get a big confidence boost which women like. When you walk up all good looking and ready for whatever she'll open up. Just dont overdo it and be captain douchebag.

>>18509365

I have allergies, could this be why i'm so anxious all the time? Sometimes i can barely breathe out of my nose; to get a good night's sleep i take a pill, use my nasal spray, put on a nasal strip, and sometimes have a cup of tea. Otherwise i breathe through my mouth and wake up feeling tired as shit with a dry mouth.

>>18510098
gaffa tape your mouth at night. make sure you shave beforehand and use the kind of tape plumbers or electricians use, not the shitty sellotape you use for school. no joke. get used to sleeping in positions that don't allow for nocturnal mouthbreathing too.

>>18509402

I think shaving completely clean makes me look like a bitch. I think my best look is with some stubble. I don't want to go in looking like i didn't care, but i don't want to look like a bitch.. This part is tricky.

I think most girls think a little stubble is sexy, no?

>>18510113

Should i shave now and go with a nice and light day and a half stubble, or just trim down what i have and keep my permastubble going? Shaving completely clean makes me look too boyish.

>>18510123
I always go for the 3 day stubble, shave the neck and tidy the cheeks a little, but that's just rugged me. just don't cut yourself. if she doesn't like the feel of sandpaper, she'll just have to get used to it.

>>18510151

Shit the 3 day stubble is always good, but i only have 2.

She just texted me good morning again