how do you deal with a partner's extremely high libido?

>>18503230
>fapping doesn't help.
Bull fucking shit. Tell him to get a flashlight, or a hobby. If just talking about pregnancy is enough to get him horny he definitely has some kind of psychological obsession, most likely from doing nothing all day.

>my physical limit is once a day. more and i get sore even if we use lots of lube and i'm propperly aroused

Maybe try to have more gentle sex? If you can only physically stand to have sex once a day, something isn't right. Do you have a shallow vagina? Does he have a freakishly big dick? Is he pounding your cervix every time or something?

Also,

>something else than piv doesn't cut it either (bj, hj, anal)

So he really WON'T accept a blowjob in place of sex with you? I have never heard of a horny guy turning down blowjobs. This sounds really weird

Unfortunately I am in your boyfriend's shoes and it's very frustrating. I just want to bang all the time but my partner is usually so tired from work that I only get it MAYBE once a week or every 10 days and I wish it would feel like enough to me but it doesn't. I try and masturbate too to get rid of the urge but it kind of only ends up making me sad cause I want the real deal.

>>18503243
This. If he can deal with not having sex for stretches of time when single, he can deal with getting it "only" once a day. Sure masturbation is not the same as sex but the very fact that it's only PiV that "works" shows that it's not about needing physical release.

The reason that you don't know what to do about it is that he has effective shut down every reasonable option. He's going "I want x and there's no way around it and I completely respect that you don't want x but I can't go without it, man o man what do we do now". Tell him there's no other way.

He isn't going to find any girl who can physically and/or psychologically keep up with sex five times a day long term. Also even if you were to try it, having sex when it's not pleasant for you regularly is a surefire way to lower your libido and can even cause vaginismus (vagina literally shutting down physically to prevent penetration) if you keep at it. You're not a fleshlight.

>>18503243
ofc he fapps, but he says it's like a drop of water when you're thirsty. it's never going to be enough.

he does't do nothing all day. he works full time and has hobbies.
what kind of psychological issues would be able to cause such high sex drive? so far i haven't been able to come up with something that sounds even slightly convincing even in theory.

>>18503252
i can stand having more sex than once a day if it's not daily, but if it's daily, then more is just going to end with me experiencing pain.
he is gently most of the time, ofc sometimes he gets carried away, but that doesn't really make a big difference on how sore i would be after more sex than once/day.


i don't know if i have a shallow vagina... how do you know that?
he is rather big, but not monstrous (8" and 6" girth). he often hits my cervix, but that's not really an issue unless imm not aroused enough.

ofc he accepts hj/bj/anal, but he tells me that it's just not nearly as satisfying as piv and doesn't really help with satisfying his need to have sex. idk...

>>18503280
If he is actually 8"x6" , that is indeed monstrous

Let me ask you this: when he goes balls deep inside you and hits your cervix, do you feel a sharp pain?

I have a big dick and my gf has a shallow vagina. If I bottom out in her or fuck her too hard, she's usually out of commission for a day or two. She says she is too sore for sex.

So, if we want to fuck more than once a day, I basically have to be mindful to give her more gentle/shallow strokes.

It sounds like you could be having the same problem as her.

>>18503258
i get that that's frustrating, but that's probably more frustrating because it would easily be possible to have more sex, she's hust too stressed/has too low libido. in our case it is just not possible to have even more sex and it's still not enough. that's why i'm really at my witts end.

>>18503264
ofc he can deal with it. it's not like he goes insane if we only have sex once a day. he can cope, but it's constantly frustrating for him, which i'm not happy with. i don't want to expect him to be sexually frustrated all the time. that's why we need to find a solution to this.

itms true that every reasonable option is basically shut down, but we're still here with the issue. i can't have more sex and he is frustrated, so we need to do something about it because i don't think either of the options "i am in pain" and "he is frustrated" is going to work long term. there's no compromise that i can think of. both are not acceptable.

>>18503280
What >>18503292 said. It's quite possible that he just talked out of his ass and he's much smaller, but 8" is absolutely monstrous. The perspective gets skewed because people inflate their size so much online but in real life even 7" is 95th percentile.

>>18503280
>ofc he accepts hj/bj/anal, but he tells me that it's just not nearly as satisfying as piv and doesn't really help with satisfying his need to have sex.
He's bullshitting you and keeps it up because you're falling for it hook, line, and sinker. Desiring sex at least five times a day is not normal. For most people sex every day is a lot. Like I said in my previous post if discussing the concept of pregnancy is enough to get him horny he has some sort psychological issue.

>>18503292
if he penetrates me from behind, it sometimes hurts like that, yes. but the sorenes i feel when we have "too much sex" is not in the cervical area, more the vaginal entrance is the issue, and lube doesn't help with that. my obgyn even told me that i have rather thin skin in the genital area, so it is really physical limitation that is the issue.

>>18503300
>there's no compromise that i can think of.
Because you 100% accept that it's "not enough" while you cannot know for sure whether he means this or it's just a line to make it more tempting for you to cave and go along with penetration already.

Does he actually even own a fleshlight to begin with? There's high end ones and they mimic penetration much more closely than a hand because you don't have the double sensations of your hand and your dick. If he makes this into such a huge deal but has never even attempted to get himself a toy and see if that makes masturbation better, it's completely implausible to me that he wants this issue solved in any other way than for you to cater to him.

Definitely an issue. If I have to have five times a day wouldn't I need to worry about making the girl cum too? I don't think my hand and tongue is ready for this.

How does your orgasms work in the relationship.

>>18503314
You could try different kinds of lube. My gf and I have found coconut oil works really great.

Beyond having more gentle sex and using plenty of lube, I don't see what other options you really have. If handjobs, blowjobs and anal still isn't enough for this guy, it kind of sounds like he's shit outta luck

Tell your boyfriend to do exercise, cardio specifically. Every time he's horny make him go for a run or a swim or something.

That'll cool him down, and is a pretty healthy way to get rid of that excess energy.

>>18503301
i measures myself, so i know those stats are true. he is rather big, but i though that would only be a problem if he's monstrous, like 10" or so...

>>18503311
i don't think he's bullshitting me. he doesn't get more sex than once a day because if we do that, then we can't have sex for two or three days afterwards, so he wouldn't gain anything from me "caving in".

he also doesn't pressure me or begs me to have sex, he just tells me that he is constantly horny and that it bothers him. we used to have a ldr and only saw each other every two weeks. then we had sex about 5x a day and it was no issue because afterwards, my body had a week to recover again. he said during those days, he wasn't bothered my being horny between us having sex, that's why he uses that as a reference.
it could be that he has some sort of psychological issue, and he even considers going to therapy because of it, but if possible i would like to find a solution on our own. or atleast try that first.

>>18503319
i do, because i believe him. it would be pretty disrespectful to just tell him to "get over it". he has an issue and i am going to take that serious and try to help him find a solution.

he has a fleshlight, but it's the same.
he tells me that it's not only the orgasm that he craves, but the intimacy. which does lead me to believe that the issue is psychological. he has a rather easily triggered fear of loss. my theroy is that he associated sex with closeness and closeness with a healthy relationship and that he kind of needs that reasurance way too often. but that might be completely wrong.

>>18503327
i'm completely happy with cumming once a day. after that, i don't want to cum again that day, i need that time to recover. i'm one of those one hit wonders and not able to cum multiple times in a short time frame, so this is no issue. i can still be aroused and enjoy sex, without needing an orgasm.

>>18503331
we've tried trough an array of lubes, even coconut oil... sadly it makes no difference.

>>18503339
he goes to the gym/does cardio about 5x a week. idk if more would help more...

>>18503311
> Desiring sex at least five times a day is not normal
Depends on the people involved. My gf wants morning and evening sex, but I barely want it once a day with her. I hooked up with a crazy nerdy chick back in grad school, though, and we literally fucked for a week over spring break, with short breaks for food once or twice a day and a few hours of sleep, never leaving my apartment, showering, or getting dressed because we'd just uncontrollably start fucking again. It was dysfunctional and we stopped seeing each other to avoid skipping class, which happened a few times in the weeks after spring break. She was even more into it than I.
Different partners really can cause changes in libido for inexplicable reasons.

do you think we should just go to sex therapy?

>>18503230
All sex is, is a high. He's addicted to the high. But it eventually goes away. Basically he needs to deal with not have a lot of sex. This type of behavior is a kin to doing drugs.

>>18503577
we actually talked about it having the air of addiction two days ago. and it's true. but can you get addicted to something, even if there is no psychological issue fueling the addiction? i've always assumed that people who get addicted are trying to get something they would need from a source that can't provide it (trying to cope with lonelines by abusing alcohol for example).

>>18503610
i mean, that's where my theory of him (ab)using sex as reasurance to sooth his fear of loss comes from.
his mom is one of those paranoia ridden women that see danger and loss behind every corner. and she certainly imprinted that on him.
she lost a baby a few days after birth before giving birth to him, and hems her youngest son. she has been extremely protective and fearful since his first day on earth. i don't think you can grow up like that without it having some negative effect on you...

>>18503624
ya i think your on to something. Honestly having sex that much is not normal. I wonder if he finds it necessary because sex=staying together. The more he does it the more he's reassured you guys don't split (unconscious) Could be why masterbateing doesn't do it for him. Because its not about getting off, but keeping you. I could be totally wrong just a theory.

>>18504131
that's my theory aswell. do you think i should suggest therapy? because i thought that if that was the case it would show in a pattern of him getting more aroused in times of him being more fearful of losing me, but it seems constant and not related to situations like that. that's why i reconsidered my approach. but maybe he just needs professional help. we already talked about giving couples or even sex therapy a try. maybe i'll do that and see what they think about the situation.

thanks a lot.

>>18504165
ya therapy is always a great tool. This could be a very unconscious thing so he might be unaware of it. But theres no doubt his mother had some effect on how he sees the world.

>>18503230
watch pragerU video "the power of no"

Learn to say no to him, not all the time, but enough to make gim crave you. Sexual frustration is what pushes men to be creative and work hard. You are sedating him with all this sex.