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I've been talking to a girl on OkCupid for two months. We matched and had great conversations. She lives overseas so we didn't meet in person. I'd travel to meet her but I don't have time off till Christmas so the plan was to wait and see if things were still going well around November and then ask her about it.
She stopped visiting OkCupid for a week in June. She said she'd been busy and we continued talking like normal. She disappeared again a week ago and just now deleted her account without warning.
This was my second (pseudo)relationship. The first was recent, in real life, with a good friend. A mutual friend told me she was into me so I asked her out. She said she enjoyed our date so I invited her on another. She said it sounded great but put it off for a while (exams, Christmas break). Eventually she admitted she was never interested in me and that she led me on for two months because she didn't know how to tell me.
Bonus: now she is dating my roommate and good friend.
Why are women incapable of communication?
I envy people that just get rejected from the get-go.
New plan: refuse to initiate anything and wait for someone interested enough in me to ask me out.
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>>18502323
>calls something a relationship before anything is even established
Why are you so desperate?
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It seems you were misreading signs. "Talking" to someone doesn't mean you can claim her, especially if she doesn't like you and you never clarified your feelings. "Matching and having great conversations" doesn't mean shit. Especially since what's a good convo to you might have been hell for her. There could've been no vibe.
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>>18502337
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>>18502341
We were at least friends and prospectively more. We exchanged 300 messages. I expect a friend to say something before disappearing.
> Especially since what's a good convo to you might have been hell for her.
This really seemed not to be the case. She sent long, enthusiastic, engaged messages and kept conversations going. She passed up many openings to end conversations.
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>>18502367
maybe she's just friendly.
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- Comments on your pseudo-relationship:
I'm of the opinion that you were severely emotionally over-invested in whatever you saw that could have been "prospectively more" and your thought process here just comes off as naive.
Have you ever skype video chat'd with her? Called? I've seen plenty of instances on this site where people pulled assumptions out of their asses but in this scenario I think my guess is founded considering how you've implied you had no means of contacting her as soon as she closed her account down.
And yet, you were already imagining yourself traveling to an entirely different country based on text exchanges with someone on the level of a pen-pal. Does this not come off to you as delusional?
- Comments on your previous real life relationship:
>Why are women incapable of communication?
Yeah, it sucks to be led on, but that isn't cause for sexism. Poor communication and relationship difficulty are pretty common for either gender in the age range when exams are a thing. Now, while on topic of communication, I hope you communicated clearly to her, at the end, in detail of how you felt as a consequence of her actions in a civil manner.
The best would be to view everything in a positive light. You enjoyed her company during those dates it shouldn't be considered a waste of time. She likely felt concern for you in searching for to how to tell you the truth.
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