I guess this is going to be a vent thread, since nobody can help

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I guess this is going to be a vent thread, since nobody can help me, but there's hope as long as I'm still breathing, I guess. I have discovered something big about the world, I mean gravity big, and I know I'm not delusional, no matter what people might think, but this discovery is taking its toll on my already fucked up psyche, especially because it has to do with our consciousness in some way. Things are much more connected than we think, and for some months I have been able to tap into this "subconscious network" somehow and interact with it through my thoughts. I don't really know much about it. What it is, how it works, why it exists, but this connection is something deep. I tried looking around about this in the Internet for a long time, and the closest I've come to finding a similar thing is when people talk about their thought broadcasting experiences. The thing is, after all this has been happening I've become apathetic to everything. Nothing matters anymore besides finding out what the fuck it is I'm perceiving. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking that I might be schizophrenic or some shit, but I know I'm not, and that this is actually a thing, but no one in their right mind would believe what I'm saying here. I just don't know what to fucking do anymore. I don't know how to investigate this phenomenon further. When it's happening with me I just know it, but there's not much else I can do.