The guy I like is almost 300 pounds. I find him attractive. How

>>18497970
Get over it.

If you really like him and want to pursue a relationship, you're going to have to accept the fact that people may judge you..

>>18497980
>>18497970

Does he dress well? Does he smell good? Being overweight doesn't necessarily mean people will judge... If he carries himself well then you should have nothing to worry.

>>18497986
Yes, he dresses well. He's clean, has a nice face. He's just fat, which is okay with me, but I can't handle negative public attention. I feel eyes on me even when I'm alone and don't like being in public with lots of people.

>>18497970
Encourage him to get in shape. I'll explain why.
You like him despite the fact that he's fat. This means that if you tell him to get into shape, he'll fear that you'll leave him if he doesn't. Since that's apparently not true, and you're not apparently not a shallow whore, he'll come to appreciate how much you care about him when he inevitably fails to lose weight the first couple of times that he tries, but you refuse to leave.
If he gets insecure and leaves you because he can't handle the thought of you leaving over his weight, then he wasn't worth it.

You should realize that no one actually gives a shit about you. Out of the 1000+ people that you see on a daily basis, how many of them do you actually remember? Exactly.

Besides, if you like the guy, isnt it better to enjoy spending time with someone instead of subconsciously believing that everyone is quietly judging you?

>>18497970

People are judging you all the fucking time for everything, just accept it and be happy to be yourself.

What kind of person do you want to be? The person who dates someone they like despite society's conventions, or the kind of person who misses out on a relationship because she's hung up on strangers' unspoken opinions?

Try to see it as a point of pride. Also, you grow used to it. I'm friends with a girl who's crazily big for where I live, people literally stop and stare and everything. Yeah sure it was embarrassing at first but it numbs quickly. It helped that I think adults should be able to control themselves in public and have enough dignity to not visibly look down on anyone.

Okay, but the problem is that I have social anxiety aside from this "problem" so I can't take the looks.

>>18498093
Then you don't date him. Not sure what answer you are looking for here when all you have to say in response to suggestions to change your mindset is that you can't.

>>18498112
It has nothing to do with my mindset. I take medication for my mental illness - the anxiety that's actually "crippling"

>>18498122
Okay, so by your own account it's hopeless. Still unsure what kind of deus ex machina answer you were hoping for. Accept that you don't have it in you to deal with everything surrounding dating this guy, at least not now.

>>18498122
Just stop being such a hopeless pussy, girl. Learn not to care about what some strangers think about you and/or your lifestyle. Realise that most people have their own problems and won't give two shits. Find more important things to worry about.
OR
If you are too weak to do that, give up on wanting whatever you want and live in the exact way the """society"" wants you to live. Be as inoffensive as lukewarm water. Live in the way that will never offend any strangers.

I don't want to abandon the only guy that is open to my degeneracy, cares about me and is not just after sex :(

>>18497970
Picture yourself as Ornstein and him as Smough. There, crisis averted.

>>18498030
>This

I started using this analogy when I was afraid of jogging in the mornings. When you pass someone running silly or overweight you may giggle at first but by the time you're in bed getting ready to sleep that person has already left your mind

The guy in the pic isn't that big for a man
Not even obese girls seem to truly love me

>>18499226
He's already disgustingly fat and you say he isn't THAT fat?

>>18499235
I'm much fatter, now love me

>>18497992
That's kinda fucked up

>>18498112
Exactly

>>18498132
Oh! My nikka pulled out the deus ex machina on her ass!

Women can't even compete.

>>18497970
Tell him that you like him and you could see yourselves together for a long time. List the reason that you like him.
1.
2.
3.
Ect.

Then tell him you're concerned about his long term health. Ask him to start doing a healthy activity daily of 20 minutes. Then on the weekends both of you do things that outside.

I lost 40 pounds last year and feel great. He just needs a little push to get started.

>>18499948
he's trying to lose but he's not dedicated at all

>>18500319
It's only going to get harder the older he gets. I am 27 and have lost over 50 pounds over the past 2 years. 90% of that is due to diet. 5% is getting proper sleep and the other 5% was a bit of walking. It is literally that easy. Just don't be a glutton and you lose weight. Just need a slight calorie deficit everyday. You can have a cheat day once in a while once you start to make good progress.

>>18500319
I started off with small steps - like a 20 minute bike ride 5 days a week. On the days I didn't want to ride I still went I just didn't push that hard. It was a very easy workout that I could never say "I'm to (fill in the excuse) to do. Also find a way to reward him when he's dedicated. If he can just stay active for 6 weeks then he'll want to continue.
It's not easy to get someone to change. Also keep telling him that you guys are together no matter what.