I hate the things that I say and do, and I have no idea how to

Give an example. Like are you being a beta bitch when you want to assert yourself, or being a dick when you want to be nice, or something else?

I've got the same problem OP. No matter how much I try I say these stupid things I don't know how to catch them. I just want to be a good person.

I am with you. I am thinking one thing and doing exactly the opposite. I can't hold myself and I have done such retarded things and self-sabotaged myself and reached the levels of being an asshole that shouldn't even be possible.

>>18496963
Think before you talk.

Play this game with yourself. Imagine you are only allowed a small quota of words to say each day. Before you say anything, consider whether you want to use up your quota with that.

>>18496963
Read Alexander Lowen or Wilhelm Reich. Lowen's Bioenergetics is all about grounding (taking you out of your head so that you behave more instinctually).

>>18496963

if you catch your self doing it, just stop. think baout what you'd like to say, then do that. in the meantime just write 'dont forget' on your hand, as a reminder to keep track of your self. it'll take time. it starts with you not noticing until its too late, then it slowly becomes noticing right after the fact, then noticing during, then soon you'll catch your self before it starts.

the best way to get past it is to apologize for the bad things you say though.

>>18496963
mindfulness and self control. you couldn't imagine a monk making this mistake to any kind of extreme, without being drunk or something, right?