How do I bring purpose to my life? Working on wards, or even

To make the people you care about, the good-hearted ones that you deem worthy, happy.

I've been through a lot and I've thought long and hard about this. It's the only thing that makes sense to me.

I just wish I knew more such people.

>>18495524
Get more shit, collect more stuff, make people jelly about your life.
Enter into a healthy rivalry with someone on your neighborhood.

>>18495641
This will not make you happy, it will delude you into thinking that but what you'll actually feel isn't genuine happiness, it's more of a mix between greed and pride, do this and sometime down the line you'll realize that it was pointless and stupid.

>>18495524
I feel very similar OP. Except I'm 18 and I haven't even started my life. I've been diagnosed with depression but I stop taking the medication because they didn't really motivate me to do anything. Honestly, even though I'm still technically depressed based on the definition I'm actually lacking one of the major symptoms, sadness. I have a few of the other's including reclusiveness and lack of motivation or joy in doing things but I'm not sad. I just have a lack of any real emotion.

>>18495677
To add to this, the way I've distracted my self is with endless gaming. Which is not only bad for my health but has left me even emptier. Don't do what I do.

>>18495524
it sounds like you are looking for more in life, and for a higher purpose. what if you spent your time expressing yourself with art, instead of working in a ward and running from your feelings? you could be a nurse and make triple what you make now, or if you are already a nurse, try pediatric or something.

Well now that you know my story I supposed I'll ask why you want to distract yourself from reality?

That's what I've been doing my whole life and I'll tell you it doesn't solve anything. You'll wake up in 10 years and ask what the fuck happened, where did the time go, and why you suddenly feel so empty.

>>18495689
>>18495703
gaming and then stopping near peak enjoyment is okay, assuming you do other productive things and exercise

but yeah I remember when I was underage. I spent like 2000 hours in Halo and *didn't even get good at it*, because I was just killing time. What a terrible fucking waste.

>>18495703
I suppose a distraction makes more sense than deeper meaning. People that are obsessed with their lawn, their home, their clothes, their kids activities.. These people do not need time to think about what they are doing. They are absorbed in other pursuits. As for me, I am not likely to learn significantly more, change what I am doing professionally, I've traveled most of the places I wish to.

>>18495635
The people I care about seem to be happy as is, but that could just be my perspective because I am not particularly content. This is probably a component of what I should be doing, though.

>>18495692
That's a good thought, a form of expression. I think I have exhausted most avenues though. I painted, tried writing, cook, small scale carpentry, made wine. For some reason I just don't feel like doing these things anymore. They don't make me happy.

>>18495884
>painting
>writing
>cooking
>wine
try something that is more expressive. maybe something more modern and subversive. you work in a ward for God's sake - let it all out.

>they don't make me happy
you must have some sort of inkling of what would make you happier. everyone does. they're just afraid to imagine it.

a lot of what you're saying has to do with falling into a status-quo and stifling your own feelings. that's not a generally accepted way to go about finding happiness. that's not even proper stoicism, from what I have heard.