I was just a calculation to her. I loved her. I loved her daughter

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Pic 2 of 2 from May 14, 2017.

This was our last text to each other.

>she didn't do it on purpose
It's cute you believe that

>>18493206
What purpose could it be? Invoke a response from me?

>>18493194
You said no contact, and she agreed. That rule must apply to you too. For God's sake hold yourself to some standards, man.

>>18493213
Using her daughter to catch more interest
Need details on "I was just a calculation to her" or whatever it was

>>18493219
Also this

Maybe she did it to be honest about her baggage with whoever wants to date her?
Sounds like a silly "warning", more like you're just looking for an excuse to message her

>>18493219
>>18493241
She is a widow so has kiddo 100% of the time. She had hippie tendencies until she became a mom. I am an assistant professor, stable job, ok money, respected, treat her well, loving father. We dated for two years. She wanted me to move in with her after one year. I said no because i wanted to spend more time with her before moving in my kid with her kid as a family. She didnt like that. She once complained how i never volunteered to babysit her daughter to allow her to go out with her friends. I was surprised because i thought she and I hadnt had enough chances to go out with each other.

She would tell me she loves me all the time but do eyeball fucking with lowly street nigg*rs all the time. Big part of why i broke up with her.

I dont think she would use her daughter to catch more interest. It would only be from pedofiles anyway. Even single parent guys like me want to avoid single moms.

>>18493251
She was quite good about safeguarding her kiddo until we both decided to introduce each other to our kids. Not a warning about baggage for sure. Like i said, she is not very tech savvy.

>>18493275
The way you've described her, I can absolutely see her using the daughter as bait. How can you still have feelings for someone like that?
Suffering is what awaits the idiot who marries that broad

>>18493219
>>18493241
>>18493251

So, all three of you think that it seems like i am looking for an excuse to contact her?

I wont deny that i do miss her. If i contact her it will mess with my head for sure.
I also dont want to feel like i left her daughter (who i care for like my own) vulnerable on a dating site.
What do? Don't hold back. I can take it.

>>18493284
Bait for me? Bait for internet strangers/pedofiles wouldnt make sense.

FYI: This is the email i drafted but decided to seek /adv/ before hitting send.

Hello Femanon,

I assume it is not your intention to have kiddo's pictures on a dating app. Coffee meets Bagel uses pictures from your Facebook. You may want to upload few solo pictures to your Facebook, then select them to be used by Coffee meets Bagel.

Anon

>>18493194
>>18493203
What is this passive-aggressive self-deprecation guilt trip shit? How can she have a daughter when you both act like highschoolers?

>>18493314

I meant give advice when i said give it to me. Kek.

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Come on /adv/
Please help.

>>18493314
All you need is function body parts to produce a child. A literal retard can do it.

>>18493298
Don't do it dude. I know how you feel because I've felt it the whole last year. I've noticed I miss her the most when I'm weak, never when I'm strong. Because when I'm weak I desire those moments of feelings of security and joy with her. That's probably the same for you. But you won't get that warmth from her again.

Throw that old rag away and get a new one

>>18493298
No contact means NO CONTACT. You walk away and never look back. Your mind is looking for any excuse to talk to her.

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>>18493275
>She once complained how i never volunteered to babysit her daughter to allow her to go out with her friends

>do eyeball fucking with lowly street niggers

And you have feelings for someone like that? My sides.

Stop texting women like you did in the messages you showed and being available so easily. This bitch in particular has no respect for you as a result of you doing so. And of course do -NOT- contact her. The perspective you want to leave on every women is that when you aren't physically by her side,you're B U S Y

>>18493194
You could create a totally new, anonymous email account and send her an anonymous message that way. She'd get the message and you wouldn't have to break your rule, which as the other anons are saying would be a bad idea

>>18494759
Thanks anon. Appreciate the perspective.
Sorry you had to go through same thing.

>>18493194
>>>18493298
>Your mind is looking for any excuse to talk to her.

It is true anon. I am looking for an excuse. Thanks for hekping me stay strong.

>>18494876
Thanks anon. I have read the book of pook and considered myself quite redpilled for two years until i met her. I can see now how I fucked up. Hindsight 20/20
Thanks for the advice.

>>18494912
Its a good idea. Will haveto think more to figure out a way she is not even able to guess that I am the one who sent her the email. While I mull over the idea, I am going to try and stay strong and bot contact her like every anon has suggested. Thanks anon!

>>18494876
Are these really big red flags for you guys? Ok, the eyeball fucking, that's one thing and is unforgivable. But the daughter thing? I don't see how that's being manipulative at all. Maybe I'm a fool, but she could have just genuinely wanted OP to watch the kid while she went out. It almost seems demented or paranoid to think shed have some sort of great big sinister ulterior motive.

>>>18494876
>Are these really big red flags for you guys? Ok, the eyeball fucking, that's one thing and is unforgivable.

Thank you for saying that.

>But the daughter thing? I don't see how that's being manipulative at all. Maybe I'm a fool, but she could have just genuinely wanted OP to watch the kid while she went out. It almost seems demented or paranoid to think shed have some sort of great big sinister ulterior motive.

I didnt think it was a big sinister ulterior motive but it bothered me that while I longed to spend more time with her, she was more interested in spending it with her friends, especially after I had told her that we need to spend more time together if we were going to move in together. It seemed like she was not serious about it. She wanted to rush into it (hippie ways) but I dont do rushed things because my kiddo.
I should also mention here that i felt like she never tried to make a relationship with my kid like i did with her. Even when she would get chances to spend some time without her daughter (during her daughter's sleepovers elsewhere etc) she never wanted to spend time with me and my daughter. I developed relationship with her daughter by spending more time with her without my daughter being there. I thought it was essential for the two adults to spend time with each kid without the other kid being there. When all four of us would get together, the kids played with each other, not with the other adult. Also, I know she had her daughter 100% of the time so I understood her wanting to get a real break from kids/relationships but I contended that you play the hand that is dealt to you.

Of course, if we had become a family, I would have been happy to take care of the kids so she could get a break and go out with her friends. Oh well....seems like i went off on a tangent there.

>>18494983

A girl doing fuck eyes is a red flag to basically every guy.

Being complained to that they never volunteer to take care of the womans responsibilities so the woman can go and be with friends is unfortunately NOT a red flag to a lot of guys. A lot of guys will just sympathize and sacrifice because that's what their girl wants and they're caught up in the "give respect,get respect" from other guys.

It is definitely one to me though because in my experiences with women like that(Although i've never gotten COMPLAINED to),they're asking because they don't see my time as worth diddly shit nor particularly enjoy my company,effectively giving me "I need space" when I say why not go with me. Also from being on the side of the people or being the person single moms asked to have their kid watched to be with,it always went in a sleazy direction.
Always.
Gambling,drinking,holding hands in public,handjobs, sexual intercourse, the kid is out of the picture for a reason. They WANT to fuck around with the people or person they're with so getting bitched to about that when you've made it clear you want a relationship with them is kind of like them going up to you and writing dumbass on your forehead.

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Brother, I sincerely hope you read this.

I was in this position 4 months. I couldn't eat or sleep, I had to talk to her, and I was looking for anything to use as an excuse.

Don't do it, and you know I'm right.

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>>18493194

>A lot of guys will just sympathize and sacrifice because that's what their girl wants and they're caught up in the "give respect,get respect" from other guys.

I am glad I didnt fall for this. I know what I wanted and refused to accept anything less. It feels like I stood up for myself.
>
>they're asking because they don't see my time as worth diddly shit nor particularly enjoy my company,effectively giving me "I need space" when I say why not go with me.

This. It was a hard to navigate between wanting to be with her, without being clingy. She did give me a lot of space even though I never asked for it. Worse was when I had a big presentation the next day and didn't want to be alone but she wanted to fold her laundry...by herself. That one really hurt.

>>18496391
I do know you are right senpai. Thank you beother. I am sorry you had to go through it just 4 months ago. What happened? Are you over her now? If so, how? What helped?

>>18496579
Was married and divorced because she cheated. Very close to the kid but was not mine and she kept trying to use him to rope me back in. It hurt (more because the kid) but I held firm with no contact. I had to change my number three times and stopped giving it out to even my friends or family because she would get it from them. I also moved away because she would just show up at my place with the kid. The feels go away eventually.