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I have a lot of family issues.
But the core issue atm is my mother. I've given up on everyone else, and I want to give up on her too. she tried to kill herself three times in the last two years. the first two looked like basic cries for attention but they shook me. the last time i got a call from my dad saying shes in the ER cuz he found her passed out after taking an entire bottle of pain pills. honestly i felt basically nothing. it just felt like a 'here we go again' moment and i didnt really bother checking in, they just kept texting me updates. it just made my day seem more dulled out than anything.
since then she keeps saying im her reason for living and all this and i cant stand it. I am working on a movie right now so asked that she and the family not contact me for 2 months while I work on it. she of course isn't stupid and knows that theres some deeper issues here. but last week i didnt have a chance to call her for just 3 days and she texted me claiming that if i dont contact her to 'let her know im okay' that she is going to fly down to my city to check on me. Mind you, I have lived on my own for the last seven years.
I Feel bad because she does love me and shes invested so much money into helping me get established as an adult. but I just don't want to talk to her or see her. I just don't. and I don't know for how long.
but my biggest fear is that if i cut her off beyond september she will A) fly down here to see me and B) try to kill her self again.
I'm not sure what to do cuz i dont want her to die. my greatest hope is that she could find happiness on her own, without me, without my father, withotu anyone. but she seems dead set on being this 'tragic character' in the story of life and how having a nuclear family is the only way to solve it.
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>>18492359
How would the main character of your movie handle the situation? Do that.
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>>18492359
and thats just not me. i didnt meet my dad til i was 4. he left again when i was 9. inbetween he'd smack the shit out of me for laughing or accidentally knocking down a picture, and when I explained that my brother had molested me he told me i needed to 'deal with it' because it was breaking up our family to have to address it.
my older brother and I played nice since then but its been hell having nightmares about it anytime i spend too much time with him and waking up puking and hating life for the rest of the day. the last time he and I were alone together was after target practice. We loaded the guns back into the car, and he drove me back home. at this point i had been living on my own for two years and was only intown for holiday. My father insisted on waking me up at 7 every morning simply to exercise his authority over me. so i posted on facebook 'being an adult should mean sleeping in if you want to'. thats it. this, for some reason, made my mother cry, because it meant we werent having the 'perfect christmas'. she freaks out every holiday even if we just argue over which actor was in which movie'.
so my brother read this, and on our way back from shooting practice he asks 'why did you do that?'. I of course explained 'i was just expressing my feelings'. so he said 'well i express my feelings with my fists, so next time you express your self I am going to express my self all over your face'.
this kinda encapsulates exactly what our relationship is. he is the big strong older brother, picked on me for years, and my parents chalked it up to just teasing, even if he twisted my ankle so i couldnt walk anymore or hurt my back to the point where i couldnt get up into bed. he believed that because he was bigger he could control me.
so, I was still carrying a gun that couldn't fit in the truck. i pointed it at him and said 'do you really want to say that when i have a gun in my hand?'. we have not been alone together since then.
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>>18492373
the main character in my movie accidentally brings his sister back from the dead and she murders the father than returns to hell.
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>>18492373
>>18492377
and believe me, I'm trying.
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>>18492373
he does end up leaving his family in the end to pursue happiness for reasons similar to mine. not exactly the same but looking at it now i can clearly see that i was projecting my problems into the script.
you kinda opened my mind man. thank you.
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