Hey /adv/ so I've decided I want to kill myself asap but

>>18492151
Ask for help from someone who can provide it, in person, not 4chan. Do this immediately, instead of wasting more time on the internet.

Im guessing youre a white male between the ages of 18-30, born in the United States.

Do you know the odds of that happening? You could have been born in some 3rd world, malaria infested shithole nation, where every day is a constant struggle to eat. You have everything going for you dummy.

What are your reasons for wanting to kill yourself?

>>18492160
Like who? A fucking psychiatrist?

>>18492162
Just tell me what to do please. You don't need to know any of that bullshit.

>>18492151
>Hey /adv/ so I've decided I want to kill myself asap but I don't want to make my parents go through all that.
>What do?

Kill your parents first.

>>18492151
Just don't?
>>18492168
>a ducking psychiatrist
A friend would also do. But in absence of those, yeah, a therapist.

>>18492175
I like the way you think.

>>18492175
Whether you're being sarcastic or not this is probably the best answer so far. I would try to find the quickest, least painful way to put them out of their misery. They are getting old anyway.

Any suggestions?

>>18492151
Don't worry anon, they won't miss you.

They've probably been hoping you'd do it for years now.

>>18492185
Try harder next time, kid.

>>18492168
>like who, a fucking psychiatrist?
I don't give a shit who it is. if you can't use your intelligence to get out of this situation, then I guess you'll be stuck for a while longer

>>18492190
>I guess you'll be stuck for a while longer
That depends. Only time will tell.

>>18492205
>>I guess you'll be stuck for a while longer
the longer you convince yourself that you have no agency over your own mind and your own life, and that you should just sulk on 4chan, the longer you'll be in this predicament.

waiting for time to tell if I'm right is the kind of stupid shit that lands people in a hole in the first place. if you don't want to be here, then fight your way out of it.

happiness can be elusive, but not being miserable is a simple biological state that can be achieved simply by being proactive and making healthy choices.

>>18492214
>implying I want to make things better.

I just want to fucking kill myself without making my parents cry you fucking sperg.

>>18492233
Well they'll cry yeah but I just don't want them to break down over me. I want to soften the blow as much as I can.

Just keep putting it off until you decide not to do it. There's really no rush, and no upside to it. You'll be robbing yourself and your family. In the future you'll be glad you never acted on it.

>>18492236
Not possible. And not possible for you to understand why that's not possible if you've never had a child.

>>18492241
Alas I find myself here asking the same question.

What do?

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>>18492151

Try doing something nice for anyone, even if it's as simple as having dinner with your mom or cleaning up around the house or collecting trash. Take some responsibility for anything, no matter how insignificant it seems, and you'll feel more worthy of life.

>>18492245
see
>>18492248
Do anything that's not completely shitty and unproductive. Anything.

>>18492248
That's everyday for me. I am possibly the most empathetic, sympathetic, considerate, and understanding person I know. I help my friends, my senpai, my coworkers when they need my help. I've helped anons here on /adv/ ffs.

I'm done.

>>18492271
Family*

Not senpai.

>>18492271
Then you should ask them for some help. You don't have to tell them you wanna kill yourself, but if you tell someone you need some cheering up, they should want to help you.

>>18492233
if that's so then do it. you're shitposting at this point.

>>18492271
Okay, so you have a job and you help people.

I know you don't want death, you just want the escape it offers, so why, what do you need an escape from?

>>18492291
I find everything to be pointless. Everything that I've done and accomplished in life. I just see no point in anything anymore. A part of me even says "Fuck it just kill yourself who cares how your parents will feel or what happens to them. Certainly not you because you'll be dead so what is the fucking point?"

>>18492351
That's depression. Like, the definition of depression.

Talk to someone you trust, if you can make an appointment with the GP.

Read some of these, https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22y9f7/serious_parents_of_children_who_have_committed/

I hope you decide to get help, for you and your family, life is enjoyable, but your depression is making it so it's not, think back to when you remember having fun, how ever far back that may be.

>>18492351
It sounds like you are in a state of anhedonia and severe distress. you can ask someone (anyone, I don't care) for help, you or can keep le moping on 4chan. you're probably not going to kill yourself, because you know that is a terribly harmful and permanent solution to a temporary problem. you like ice cream and puppies and getting your dick sucked too much to do it, hopefully not at the same time.

Read The Elegance of the Hedgehog.
Patience is the key, my dear. I'm afraid I'll be in your situation any time, since I've being down since a child... but I've decided to have patience too.

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>>18492151
In my distress I called on the Lord, and cried for help to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry for help came before Him to His ears. (Psalm 18:6)


The wages of sin is death. Suicide is the ultimate manifestation of self-pity. Self-pity is a sin.

You need to give your life over to Jesus Christ, the Son of God who came in the flesh. Jesus Christ was the ultimate Lamb and He died on the Cross for your sins, and my sins. He rose again on the third day where He ascended into Heaven and sits on the Right Hand of God the Father.

OP, you need to deny yourself, carry your cross, and follow after Jesus Christ. If you decide that you yourself is worth dying for, you will end up in a place that's too horrible for me to even talk about right now. People who commit suicide do not go to Heaven, they all end up in the Outer Darkness where they will remain until the Final Judgment, and then are thrown into the Lake of Fire with the devil and his fallen angels for all eternity.

Eternity is at stake here OP, you have a decision to make. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. It's time that you humble yourself and give your life over to Jesus Christ the Son of God who came in the flesh. All of man's words are nothing. Heaven and Earth shall pass away, but God's Words will never pass away. Give your life over to Jesus Christ at this very moment and repent of your sins.

Put your full faith and trust in Jesus Christ. He is waiting for you.

Isn't it obvious? Kill them before you kill yourself.

>>18492151
Get money, go somewhere else you can, using only cash and without ID.
Look for a isolated place that people wouldn't probably go for at least a month or two.
Kill yourself there.
Don't leave notes or anything, it's better that your parents think you disappeared, at least, they will love with the hope you are still alive.
If possible, buy a shotgun and blew your head off.

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>>18492151
HOW TO KYS AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT

Do this in a closed body of water with no one else around (lake, pool, bathtub, etc.)

ndpa org/loss-of-consciousness-in-breath-holding-swimmers/

Key section

>What many swimmers who become interested in breath-hold quickly realize is that hyperventilation (ventilation of the lungs in excess of metabolic need) can dramatically increase breath-hold time. The effect works whether the hyperventilation is by faster or deeper breathing than that being demanded by normal body signals. Here, though, lies the start of the confusion. Contrary to the belief of some, hyperventilation is only trivially increasing to O2 stores in the body. What it does do is to dramatically reduce the CO2 content that is normally so much higher than in air. The result of lowering the body CO2 levels at the start of breath-hold is that it takes longer to reach the levels required to drive the urge to breathe. Excessive hyperventilation can delay the urge to breathe so long that the person can lose consciousness due to low O2 levels (hypoxia) with absolutely no warning. Stated another way, hyperventilation eliminates the safety buffer between the normal CO2-driven urge to breathe and minimum safe O2 levels. Excessive hyperventilation is effectively removing one of our most important protective mechanisms, a critical one when in water since the medium is unforgiving for an unconscious person.

I almost accidentally killed myself doing this. I lost consciousness, had CPR, hospital and all that. You can get permanent damage if you fail to die (I did not) so make sure there's no one around to save you.

If want a place that is 100% committed to helping you kys, go to the suicide board on 4+4chan.

Because telling someone to kys can get you in legal trouble now, I affirm that I did not do that in this post. I gave information on how.

stop eating and drinking.

>>18492807
>The Elegance of the Hedgehog
I guess I'll check it out. Thanks.