How can people say focus on yourself in order to become happy

>>18488751

>how can people say focus on yourself in order to beocme happy when my best days this year were when i was talking to a girl?

this is precisely why we recommend it. your life is so empty that having a stranger on the internet with a particular set of genitalia to talk to made you happy.

focus on your self, develop a happiness that doesn't revolve on some stranger giving you attention, and you'll be a lot better off.

Why haven't you remained in contact with her?

>>18488919
Can't your life be empty because youre lonely? It's not like most people live interesting lives. In my experience, my friends who are in relationships tend to be live an even more boring life, since they go out even less

>>18488928
She ghosted me. I was waiting weeks for her to come online again. I was bummed but it was kinda expected

>>18488919
> that having a stranger on the internet with a particular set of genitalia

Forgot to mention that this wasn't the point of my post. It was a person who was really interesting to me. She was fun to talk to, open minded, had a lot of life experience, stories, interesting things to say. Thought me a few things and she was so different that it made me reconsider my life.
I can be really awkward and shy but I have my hobbies and direction in life. I work out. I'm just really afraid that I will never meet a girl like that, who is that interesting. Or she will straight up ignore me, that would be even worse desu.

>>18489020

>in my experiene people who are in relationships live boring lives

which only further proves my point that people like you / them are latching on to other people toi give their lives meaning instead of actually finding some.

>cant your life be empty because you're lonely?

yes. but you are not describing that scenario. you are not sitting around with all this meaningful stuff and having a relationship is all thats missing. you got literally nothing, and the example of your friends you provided was pretty much the same thing: boring lives with nothing going on and having a woman to take their mind off of it.

also keep in mind that boring doesn't contradict happy, meaningful, or fulfilled. plenty of boring lives are happy, meaningful, and fulfilled, simply because they are content with what they've built for themselves.

you are not one of these people. you said you are ONLY HAPPY when you talk to this girl on discord. you are basically sticking a vibrator up your ass and then complaining that life has no meaning without it in there.

>>18489037
>which only further proves my point

But they're happy. Like I said, most people are boring and can still live a happy life. My friend and his girlfriend and studying at an average university. they are average in average aspect, but they are happy together. and seeing it multiple times, my friend's life quality is incredibly higher with someone he can talk to, share his thoughts, cuddle and do things with. Like, I can't even imagine how good that feels. Seeing them just makes me suicidal really. Even though on paper, I should be smarter (im not trying to humblebrag) and more attractive.
We are social creatures after all. I understand why putting all the responsibility and happiness on a single person is bad. But I feel like a relationship can highly improve someone's life. Love is the only universal thing in the world, which can be the same no matter the circumstances

>>18489122

until they break up.

>>18489128
yeah but by this logic dont do anything right? nothing lasts forever

>>18489130

wrong. you can create happiness internally by creating a life that makes you happy regardless of the people who pass through it.

you cant control the people who pass through it. you can control what you do.

>>18489136
Not OP but how? Tell me.

I have a degree, a job, I workout and don't eat like shit. What else needs to be done?

>>18489136
why cant relationships be part of what makes you happy? it seems pretty natural to me

>>18489139

do any of those make you happy? all you did was list
>something i had to do not for fun
>something else i do not for fun
>something else i do not for fun
>and something that is literally the opposite of having fun

those things help with long term fulfillment, but they arent fun.

>>18489142

they literally are. but OPs problem is that hes relying on a relationship to be the only thing that makes him happy. a healthy person will still be able to have fun even if hes single for a long period of time. the relationships are just the dessert.

OP is not describing someone normal. he is describing someone who has nothing so projects meaning into a genitallia he talks to on discord.

>>18489156
I listed those things because the most frequently seen advice around here is "Exercise and get a job and get out of the house"