We started talking on my last day of high school. I never said a word to her that whole year in the art class we had together. I found myself oddly attracted to her cute shyness but never said anything to her until that last day. It was only a few weeks after me and the girl i'd dated the whole way through high school broke up. We instantly hit it off and had amazing sex all summer. It was a major shock when I found out she was pregnant, so I dropped out of art school and got a full time job. We stayed together for ten full years and raised a beautiful nine year old daughter. Then she started working as a maid at a hotel. She made new friends and started drinking and partying a lot. One day she got a traffic ticket and refused to pay it so her license was suspended. Despite offering to take her, she went to stay with her parents so her dad could take her to work in the mornings. We got into a fight over this and the one night i found her old phone which had a sex vid we made together and i was starting to miss her (it was over a week since she left). When I got into the phone i started finding vids she made for someone else. This led me down a rabbit hole where I found her saved passwords on the PC including reddit, gmail and facebook. All three things led to numerous evidence of cheating over the course of at least a year including meeting up with and fucking random strangers she met online. When I confronted her she said she was unhappy and was planning on leaving for a while. Two weeks later she tells me she's dating the guy she was friends with since they were kids and who she'd dated in hs before we met. I forgave her for cheating several times over the course of the next eight months and that i wanted her to give me another chance to make her happy and every time she was cold and told me i had to move on. We pretend to be friends and she calls me every morning and when she gets off of work and even stops by to sit on the back patio and chat for a little.
>>18488704
I can't get over her. I can't stop thinking about her. I dream about us getting back together every night. I miss being a family so much. I only get my daughter a couple days each week and each time she tells me about how her and the new bf took her out to do something and it feels like i've been replaced. I think i was starting to recover but they are going to be moving in together soon and it's bringing back all the emotions i felt eight months ago when she first left. I've dated a few girls since then and each time it ends early because i don't even feel enough for anyone else to keep it up during sex. I am ashamed of myself for wanting her back because i know deep down shes a shitty person but i miss her and i miss having a family. I live alone and i'm extremely depressed. I don't have a choice but to get over her but i don't know where to start. I thought dating other girls would do it but most girls i meet and/or date are unlikable. I don't know what to do. I'm lonely but now I see every woman in a negative light and i still want her back. There's got to be something i can do, i want this pain to go away. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
We were supposed to take the kid out for her birthday dinner tonight but she told me she doesn't want to now because I've been saying I miss her all the time. Then she told me her bf is coming over and they're all watching a movie together. Someone kill me