I don't know what's wrong with me and I'm scared. All my life I've struggled socially. I've never been able to properly form close connections with people. I convinced myself that I must be autistic but I'm not so sure anymore. I don't have any of those autistic obsessions so many people seem to have but I do struggle with a lot of the negative issues. I don't really have a sense of who I am. I have no real interests, my personality changes based on who i'm with. If I ever encounter 2 people from different areas of my life at the same time, I basically implode, not knowing which personality to display. I've been described as having no soul by someone once, that really made me want to die. Honestly its like I've just stopped trying now and I'm not sure if I can live the remainder of my life out like this. I've booked an appointment for therapy but the wait is around 6 months so that's cool.
What exactly have you stopped trying?
>>18482760
Since you probably already left I will say this just in case you eventually come back. You are not alone. I have different personalities when I talk to different people. You are not the only person who does this. As for you stopping trying, I'm not entirely sure what you've stopped trying to do, but if you were trying to do something, you should stop. You shouldn't have to try in social situations and if you have to, fuck whoever you're talking to. You don't need them and they don't need you. I'm gonna tell you what any shitty therapist will tell you: you will eventually find something worth living for.