I need some help. I like my female friend who I'm really

Wait for her to get into an argument with her BF. Then take her side and basically drive a wedge between the two of them. Of course don't make it obvious, but make her stand her ground and reassure her that she's right and he's wrong, etc. Then take her out on a date except don't frame it as a date. Something like that. This is how I stole my friend (who is no longer my friend for obvious reasons) GF, true story.

this situation is called the the friend zone
if yall are so close come out to her and say it if she only sees you as a friend its fine. the only thing you have to really worry about is regretting not ever saying anything to her if it doesn't work out. it might be embarrassing but I feels better then thinking "what if" to yourself for the next couple of year.

friendship is like plants. they can die a natural death. just be grateful for the time that you spent together instead of lamenting that it can't last forever.

I know your feels OP. I am in pretty much the exact same situation.

What you want to do is keep her as a friend and find a different girl. Then you double up on the happiness and if your relationship fails you still have your friend. Just imagine if you started dating your friend and eventually broke up and lost her all together. You would be fucked.

I was in a situation similar to you. I told one of my best friends that I liked her, even though I knew she had a boyfriend. It was both worth it and not worth it at the same time. It wasn't worth it in that it ruined our friendship and the rejection is soul crushing. It was worth it in the way that it made me realize it's foolish to beleive that you can be the center of someone's world. Even if she didn't have a boyfriend, I don't have anything to offer her in the first place. It made me realize that the only thing I could do is try to be a better person instead of thinking being in a relationship can solve all my problems.

>>18479747
That sounds awfully manipulative. I'm not trying to sabatoge her happiness.
>>18479771
I'm not going to just dump my feelings for her like an idiot. She won't suddenly fall in love with me.
>>18479784
True but I'm trying to understand her in her current state of mind. I want to keep being her friend because she's a good person.

>>18479797
I'm not trying to get with her, it's pretty much impossible. What I'm trying to do here is understand her feelings and I'm not trying to become a replacement if it turns out her bf has become complacent.

>>18479739
Just wait it out and hope they break it off eventually.

>>18479747
You're a shitty person.

>>18479814
if she doesn't think you like her she will move on its only a matter of time. it's not dumb if she walks away your going to hate yourself

>>18479739
She doesn't feel anything. You're just good friends. Women and men CAN be just friends. Stop thinking with your dick and accept that you have no chance, maybe even if they break up.

>>18480063
That's quite the visceral reaction. I'm pretty sure I'm not thinking with my dick. If I was, I would've fucked up our friendship a long time ago.

>>18480023
I mean, I thought it would be obvious in how I acted around her. I guess it's my assumption that a woman can tell if a man likes her right off the bat?

>>18479739
OP, we've all done it at some point. Want a girl really bad and not be able to process she will never want us in the same way so we hope and hope and hope and cling to just about anything. She already knows you like her but doesn't think of you romantically or she wouldn't be with another guy (and even he doesn't see you as a threat) and lets assume she stops liking the other guy, it doesn't mean its because she wants you or you win by default since you are hovering. It means she doesn't like him or he did something she doesn't want to deal with and she will like some other guy. And you OP will still be her friend and hearing about the new guy and the new guy will not be concerned about you.

>>18480715
You're making a lot of assumptions here, bud. I'm not hovering over her, I cut that shit out in highschool. I don't even know her bf. I haven't seen him outside of pictures and she barely talks about him. What exactly are you getting at?

>>18481625
OP, asks her if she likes you romantically. It's literally that simple.

>>18481637
You can't be serious. Do you understand how much of a turn-off that is? I can't just go up to her and be like "DUHHHH DO YOU LIEK ME". That's inorganic and fucking pathetic. When the hell has that ever gotten anyone anywhere? I like her and I want express it, not fuck everything up by dumping my feelings onto her.

>>18479739
>Is there a way I can express becoming a priority to her if things go bad in her relationship?

"Hi, I'll be your back up!" never gets the girls interested.

>How can I get her to say what she feels toward me?

She is saying that ALL the time. By the way she acts, even if she doesn't articulate it. Do you think she feels like boning you? I'm pretty sure you know the answer to this one.

>>18481654
Mate, what you are doing now is no less pathetic. You are friends with this chick, who most likely has no sexual/romantic feelings towards you whatsoever, and you pine for her and hope that she'll jump on your dick the moment her relationship goes tits up. That's a common delusion most guys in your position have, so it's fine.

However, you are a typical beta orbiter who is friends with a girl mostly, if not only, because he hopes to get her at some point. This makes your friendship inorganic, fucking pathetic and fake as fuck too.

>I like her and I want express it
Then flirt with her. I understand that as for now you are supporting her emotionally but this doesn't mean shit, she might be using you as her emotional tampon for all we know. So flirt with her, try to make her see you as a man, a sexual being, not a girl-friend with a penis.

>>18480063 and >>18480715 are right, but you are too down the rabbit hole to realise that. Here's an idea: maybe try finding yourself a single girl instead of making moves on your taken friend?

>>18479739
test

>>18481702
Ok Anon, you and the other anons asked me zero questions about her behaviors and are making a metric fuckton of assumptions. I'm not an orbiter in the slightest but I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm an Alpha. When I say "Good friends" I fucking mean it. She is my only female friend and I'm trying to see if she respects me enough to be a priority if worse comes to worse.

I don't want her to be unhappy, which would fucking suck for her. Here's a thought for you: I'm not trying to infringe on my friend's happiness because I'm not a piece of shit. I'm trying to present myself in a way that makes me more of man in her eyes which I feel I'm making good progress towards.

>>18481855
>I'm trying to present myself in a way that makes me more of man in her eyes which I feel I'm making good progress towards.

What is the point of this thread if you are doing well? You are a beta orbiter, doesn't matter if you want to accept it or not. You are lusting after someone who is a) your friend (and that suggests that they feelings towards you are friendly, not romantic) and b) is taken. It's what beta orbiters do.

>>18481855
>I'm trying to see if she respects me enough to be a priority if worse comes to worse

What do you mean by that? A priority in a romantic sense?

You can tell her how you feel, but that will just create a giant mess for everyone.

I've been in your shoes before and a concussion then never talking to her again is the only way I found to fix the situation. But the whole concussion pretty is hard to do and not ideal.

Good luck Anon.

>>18481903
I wanted to see if there was anything more than I can do than I am right now.

>>18481909
Yes, that's what I meant.

>>18481938
Yes, you can accept the sad truth that she doesn't like you that way and move on with your life.

>>18481942
Why do you think YOU should be her romantic priority? Does she flirt with you or says something indicating she's interested in you? Or is it all emotional tampon and chill buddy dynamic?

>>18481923
She's been a really great friend to me, if I dropped her, it would be very strange since we hang out on a near-daily basis. (Both attend the same college)

>>18479747
Fucking kill yourself. If OP does that, you are essentially making him a cheat.

>>18481946
She's a genuinely kind person and has all the qualities that I would want to find in a partner. I've always been able to make her laugh and smile. She and I always have a great time hanging out. I never even have to ask her to do anything because she's always right there, wanting to hang out. We agree on many things about living life as best and as enriched as we can.

Wouldn't you want to be this person's priority? Fuckin hell... I sound like an obsessive lunatic. Although, this is how I feel. That's why I want to be her priority. She's an honest-to-god good person.

>>18481991
You've already gone beyond the friend zone and reached orbiter status.

She doesn't see you in that way, and if you tell her how you feel she's just going to wonder where all these feelings came from. She sees you as a good friend, not as a potential boyfriend and nothing you can do will change that.

Find a girlfriend, she'll even encourage you to go for it, then cry when you don't spend as much time with her. She isn't jealous, she isn't going to start seeing you as a potential boyfriend. She'll just be sad she lost her orbital buddy.

I said before I've been in your shoes, there only way out of the friend zone is a change in your priorities. Meet a girl, make new friends, get a new hobby. But making her the center of your universe will only cause you further turmoil and heart break. You can still be friends with her if you want but you will never be more than that.

And quit acting like her world will be devastated by not spending all the time in the world with her, she'll make new friends with our without her anon.

Remember you've actually got to make a move to move on.

>>18482050
Thanks anon. I wasn't trying to imply her world would crash around her without me btw. I was saying that it would be a completely out of left field if we stopped being friends.

I won't tell her my feelings either, like you said, it would be coming out of nowhere.

I did date a another girl for a bit so that I could move on but we weren't compatible and I was left very unhappy. My friend was there for me when it happened and we became better friends afterward.

I definetley don't make her the center of my universe. I have plenty of friends outside of her but she's the most, active, I suppose you could say.

I really haven't done a good job at explaining this. Its unlike a typical situation where I could just walk away from someone who was disinterested.

>>18481855
Mate,
>>18481702
>>18480063
>>18480715
These guys get it. I know it fucking sucks. I know you came here looking for some pro-tips to turn things in your favor. I've been through this shit, and I'm guessing those guys have been through this shit.

Here's my advice, forget about trying to get with this girl. If you ever want a chance with her you need to cut your losses now and play the waiting game. Slowly distance yourself, and hang out less if spending time with her keeps making you more attached.

Focus on yourself for a bit, start exercising if you aren't right now, and set it in your mind that you are doing it for yourself and not anyone else. Read some books, pursue some of your hobbies.

Meet some new people, maybe find some single women who interest you. Get to know them, maybe start a relationship with one of them.

Two or three years from now, who knows. Maybe you will be single, and maybe she will be single and you start hanging out again. That's when you can think about making a move.

>But that's shit advice anon!
Does that really sound worse than sitting around for years, rejecting opportunities, hoping she will break up and just go for you? What if her relationship is good and lasts for years. What if they move away someplace together and you don't even see her any more? You'll feel like a right prick.

>>18479739
Distance yourself as much as possible as not to get hurt. You know deep down you're the emotional crutch. It doesn't just happen to men ... Back off.

>>18482290
Anon, thank you. I'm going to keep your words in mind for the near future. I was actually thinking about how us hanging out might hinder my dating life in the future.

I actually want to know about one thing. How do I tell I'm an emotional crutch? She's only ever come to me for minor issues every once in a blue moon. It doesn't seem like I am but I'm just not sure.

>>18479747
Fuck you and your kind

She sees you as a very good friend, one that she sees just as close as any of her female friends. She feels safe and comfortable with you. She probably feels so safe around you that she can be herself and be playful without worrying about you hitting on her, so she may not even realize you have feelings for her. She's just enjoying your close friendship in a way she can't with a regular female friend, but also in a way she can't with a regular male friend because she knows any other guy would jump at the chance to date her if she broke up with her boyfriend.

She trusts you. She cares for you a lot and thinks the world of you in the closest, most friendship way possible.

Your emotional relationship oriented feelings for her are not mutual, she doesn't see you in that way. If you want, though, ask her if she has a friend for you. You want a girlfriend like her, but not her specifically because you know she's taken, and she'll probably be happy to find you a girlfriend, because she sees you as a wonderful friend that she wants to be happy.