Over the last couple of years, I've gotten over a lot of

I think you're just over-thinking it OP! Maybe try bringing your relationships to the next level? If you feel like you can click well with people, get to know them on a deeper level and maybe that will bring you more satisfaction? I'm just not really sure what your issue is, since you seem to have a strong self identity.

>>18478625
I really don't have a strong sense of self-identity. I introspect all the time, and I can even come to some cool conclusions. But they'll all be different in the next week. Everything I think I like I grow tired of, even people. I seem to confuse love and hate all the time. I'm not consistent whatsoever. So I don't really have any clue who I am.

I try too hard to get to know people on a deeper level. We're always having deep talks. It's to the point where I have next to no secrets with anyone, and people say they've told me things they've never told anyone before, meanwhile I have that kind of relationship with seemingly everyone. I make myself available maybe even to an annoying degree. It doesn't feel special at that point. I want to find someone that I genuinely can relate to, so I try a whole lot. But it just fades with time. Any friend I have doesn't last long. I suppose I get bored, because it feels like I can befriend anyone. That adds to the long term loneliness all too well though.

I'm not sure what my issue is either. I can have a million friends and still never feel like a part of anything. Still always feeling isolated. I don't know how to be consistent. I can move around and talk to everyone, so I do. And I get why that might contribute to the lack of meaningful relationships, but if I stick with one person too long, I grow to hate them. And I don't want that. I try to balance my friends, but then everyone just seems the same.

I think I even have some weird quiet arrogance and I don't really see other people as equals to me. Even though I hate myself a lot, other people catch a lot more flak from me if they're around me too often.

>>18478675
You're always going to be changing. Ideally, it should always be for the better. I have only found one person that I can genuinely relate to, and that is my current SO of nearly four years. When I met them, I did not have a strong sense of self, but we got along so well, that we grew as a couple and that has shaped me into the person I am today. My morals, outlook on the world, interests are all aligned with my SO, and it's only because we connected at a time that allowed for us to develop our ideas together. This is two-folded though, as now I feel like we are almost the same person to the point where we agree on almost all our discussion topics, but even if we broke up tomorrow, I would still be the same person I am today.

I think the key to a lasting relationship, with anyone, is to continuously find things to do together. When you're at the point where you don't know what to talk about, try reading books, getting involved with politics, cooking together, traveling, anything that can open your perspective. Entertaining things like movies and video games can be fun, but I try to limit things like that cause they are only distractions in the end, and won't bring any lasting happiness.

I got lucky, real lucky, because I realize now that it's hard to meet people you can relate to so well. If you have people that you feel like you can trust and be completely open with, maybe try to develop a relationship further by doing productive things together.

Think about your interests, passions, morals and try to find like-minded or open-minded people to have meaningful discussions with on the topics you care about.

Why do you think you grow bored of your relationships? Is it because you can't find meaningful things to talk about or do you just not like the person you're talking to?

>>18478675
Going too deep too fast can be a bad thing. Maybe start with smalltalk? Maybe people like they're obligated to say that you and them connect on a deeper level because you're talking about something they would never talk to anyone else about?

>>18478724
To add on to this, if you're finding that the issue is with yourself, then change. Exercising, eating well, drinking plenty of water, and getting the right amount of sleep is a good and relatively easy way to make sure your mind can tackle harder problems like how to be happy with yourself.

You have very good interpersonal skills and a bad self-esteem. That's it.
Your social skills probably developed as a way to compensate your anxiety over not being good enough socially, it's a vicious cycle: now you're very good at social interactions, outwardly at least, to the point that people can't see through your coping mechanism. You've backed yourself into a corner if your social shell actually disconnects you from people.
Do you sometimes have conversations where people say things you don't agree with but you don't challenge them? You either agree outright or you disagree in a way that the person doesn't understand you disagree? Do you sometimes have conversations that feel like you're on autopilot with your responses? That's something that you'll have to unlearn, even though it'll be hard and you'll feel like you're putting yourself at risk with anxiety.
You can also work on your self-esteem: read up on your social skills, understand that they're exceptional and it can be a good thing if you use it to your advantage.

It's annoying when people assume you're friends, it's depressing/infuriating when they assume you're good friends. Choose the people you talk to. You'll feel like a doormat if you let yourself be everyone's confident (+it's emotionally draining) and your social reading should give you the pointers on how to end conversations that are getting too personnal for the person you're having them with.

>>18478724
used to have the same thing OP
I used to drop the friends I suddenly hated immediatly, found out pretty late that the hate eventually fades away too and I then find myself with a poised opinion on the person
it's a weird process and I have to watch myself when I hate a friend to make sure I don't do anything irreversible, but now that I know that my rational self will take over sooner or layer I just let it be. If the hate stays then you do hate the person, if not I usually find it was something that I was dissatisfied with in our relationship that I resented, because I pride myself on having good social skills, and when a friendship isn't perfect I view it as a "failure" as a result. Try to see where the hate stems from

>>18478724
I get bored with people because they can't find meaningful things to talk about. I have an endless list of things to talk about. When I'm not with people, I'm reading all the time. Too many things to talk about really, sometimes I'm the only one keeping conversation going.

And don't get me wrong, I'm a happy person. Happier than I ever have been before in my life. There's more to life than just my own happiness. I want to share my life with other people, and I do, but not any who I don't grow tired of. And it's not a conscious thing, I grow bored with people sometimes without knowing. I'll find ways to pick incidents apart and learn to hate them, or cut off contact.

It keeps me lonely. Even though I have tons of friends, and no problem talking to people, it feels like I'm the one putting in all of the effort. I can pretty easily make people laugh, or relate to me, but I'm still empty. And cynical, and looking for ways why things can't work all the time. It sucks.

>>18478819
I was personable as a child, before my anxiety developed. And I do challenge people, though I'm not aggressive about it. I usually do the whole sandwich a criticism thing, where I put two positives before and after a negative so people actually listen.

I wouldn't say I'm ever on autopilot. I wish I could sometimes. Too self-conscious. Everything is well thought out. I typically have pretty unorthodox conversations, though I'm the one usually putting in most of the work keeping them going. It's just... the way people act with me, they appreciate me. Absolutely. I get way more compliments than is good for my ego. But I feel like more of an event than a person sometimes. I'm fun, and understanding, but I don't let things go too far. I move around with people. I'm the kind of guy at a party to talk to everyone, legitimately everyone, maybe even have in depth conversations with who will allow it, and then move on the next person. I'd describe it as another piece of my fear of boredom. I don't want to get bored talking to someone, and if I talk to everyone it's completely different each time. Never boring. Always lonely.

I don't mind being the confidant. My problem is when people think it's exclusive, it feels like I'm lying to them. I even like hearing people's problems. They'll even listen to me in return, and it's usually a good exchange. I have plenty of people to vent to about things. Those people who say we're best friends, I might call them good friends depending on how I'm feeling. But I can't have fifteen best friends. I feel guilty by just letting them think that.

I'm like the circus that's in town for a week before it moves on. I want to find people to stay friends with, but I'm afraid of the boredom. Too attracted to the adventure. I'm afraid of being too comfortable with someone I suppose. I've had a couple romantic interests, but I never let them get far at all.